I was already on my way out. I was miserable in the seemingly endless cycle of meetings and preparing for parts. I was a young elder with more and more responsibility being piled up on me. Everyone seemed to be happy with my life except for me. I still somewhat believed even though I had serious questions that no one wanted to tackle, and I didn't want to press too hard. I wont get to far into it, but I was what could be termed the pinnacle of my JW career, which made my next moves all the more unexplainable, discomforting and disquieting to those around me. There was no label to place on me.
At this point I changed congos, resigned and reduced my attendance to a trickle. I was willing to just live and then die at Armageddon.
I eventually went on the internet, and I cant quite remember what I typed in, but in had something to do with being a free spirit. I started going to sites about being a free thinker. I knew that I wanted to re-engineer my whole life. While researching reethinking and reading more about personality types (i.e. Jung and Myers Brigg) I literally stumbled onto the freeminds site. I read everything. It expressed a lot of things I had already thought and filled in the gaps in a lot of other areas.
I read COC and it allowed me to come to terms with the fact that it was ok to leave. ISOCF then showed me Ray's brand of chrisianity, and though I'm still deciding what i believe now, I do know the wt took the wrong path when they came to the fork in the road in the late 70s and 80. I read books on cults, and was finally able to admit that I was raised in one. Other key books were True Believer, 1984 and Animal Farm. There were other books too.
I enrolled in a couple of college courses. Seeing and learning the cyclical nature of religion, and how it has been used to control, opened my eyes emensely and made quite evident what a sheltered education I had gotten throughout my jw life. Once I saw a more whole picture, I was able to see what a speck the jws really are and have been on the world scene. Jws are legends in their own minds only.
But there is no way I would have gotten to the point of looking on the internet at jw sites if I wasnt already ready for it. I had no clue these types of sites even existed.
This is more info than you asked for, but I felt like typing.