My last meeting

by PoppyR 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • PoppyR

    So last night we had the last book study at our house, next week all the congregations change around and I asked for it to be moved. So I sat in on it, and afterwards we had a bit of a 'party'.

    Felt quite emotional really, although i haven't answered for a long time I put my hand up to read a scripture just so I could mark the last time I did this. And it was all about the priestly Hardly momentous.

    Afterwards two couples stayed, one of them have two daughters, one used to be my best friend but has been dfed for 10years, the other has very cleverly drifted, so they were talking about the df one and the mum started crying and saying how she saw her in the street and walked past her. And I just couldn't help myself, so we got into a big discussion about disfellowshipping and the rights and the wrongs of it.

    Even my husband joined in and asked what they thought about the prodigal son, did his father make him sit with the servants and not speak to him for 6 months when he came back etc.

    The elder taking the group, (who I dearly love) said it was discipline and the person had to learn,

    So I asked him why was it fair that people who no longer wanted to be witnesses, if they were honest and up front about it, got cut off from everyone they love, and if they weren't and drifted away, that was ok.

    We talked for hours, and afterwards I have never seen more clearly what I have stepped away from and my heart breaks for those who are left in it and are so BLIND. The dfed girls mother was sobbing and saying every day she prays for the strength just to get through it.

    I'm not totally sure there is a god, or if there is that he cares, but what I do know is if he did.. he would never put his name to an organisation that makes people feel as desperate as this.

    Feel like I have pulled one of my last suckers away from the JWs, I'm never going to another meeting.

    Poppy xxx

  • Low-Key Lysmith
    Low-Key Lysmith

    Congrats! May all your days from this day foreward be happier and free from the vile org that is the WTBTS.

  • TMS

    "Feel like I have pulled one of my last suckers away from the JWs, I'm never going to another meeting."

    What a huge relief when one finally comes to this conclusion!



    Sounds like you had a very emotional night. Glad you are leaving it behind you. I just can't believe that so many JW's hold on so tightly to the belief that they are doing the right thing in not speaking to their own children. I can't even begin to count the JW's that I know that are in that have DF'd kids and see/talk/do stuff with them all the time. In the last hall I attended several of the elder's had grown children that were DF'd and we would see them having dinner together all the time. The PO's son was DF'd and he was constantly talking about him and the stuff they would do together.

    I think that some elders hold onto that no talking stuff until THEY have a child that is DF'd and then it all changes!!! It has surprised me at the number of people that post here that their parents won't have anything to do with them...they need to wake up and see how many parents DO have contact with their kids!!! (Honestly, they are being snowed!!!)


  • MidwichCuckoo

    Very pleased for you Poppy. You're so right too - if we are made in God's Image, and shunning is unnatural and painful for US, how much more would it be for God? I can't see how God would support this practice.

  • shark attack
    shark attack


  • Spectrum


    So she shuns her own daughter. Amazing and sad.

    I remember in my day 23 years ago when they talked about disfellowshiping, close family members were not subject to shunning, purely for the practicle reason that it's not possible not to talk to your wife/husband or daughter and so on.

    Maybe this mother read the rule book wrong?

  • Mysterious

    Congratulations Poppy. And I think you should be proud of yourself for having that conversation, who knows that the blind eyes might not see some shadow of truth in it yet? Have you considered perhaps getting in touch with the DF'd daughter now that you have left?

  • PoppyR

    Yes I have considered getting in touch with her, but things are still very new for me, and to be honest (and very cowardly) I dont want to cause trouble for myself at this point. I'm only about 3 months out and still very much in the disfellowshipping radar if you know what I mean!

    I have tried to get in touch with one of my very best friends that was disfellowshipped when we were teenagers, I still miss her to this day, but I just dont know how to go about it! All her family are still JWs so I can hardly contact them. I tried sending a message through friends reunited, but what a stupid service, She would have to pay just to reply to me! And her profile is 4 years old, she probably doesn't even have the same email.

    Anyone got any good ideas about how I could get her details through her family without raising suspicions?? Or even get mine to her?

    Poppy xx

  • fleaman uk
    fleaman uk

    Feel like I have pulled one of my last suckers away from the JWs, I'm never going to another meeting."

    What a huge relief when one finally comes to this conclusion!

    Absolutely!Poppy you sound like me when i made this decision...all of a sudden the Religion looks so ridiculous and unloving that it would be IMPOSSIBLE to go to another meeting!

    Im afraid i have no advice as to what to do re.your friend.All i did was wait about a year after leaving(fading)then got together with a very good Mate who had been d,fed years ago.Everyone knew i had started to associate with him.I was left alone by the Elders.Then a little while after that i started thinking,what right have these untrained,mostly uneducated men got to dictate what the hell i (or anyone else)does!

    Thats when the clear thinking starts to kick in.It was in my case anyway.

    Best of luck to you!

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