Senseless death is getting to me

AlmostAtheist

I'm finding that I'm less and less able to handle hearing about or even thinking about senseless death. I read about some of the people tortured and killed as heretics during the inquisition and I was nearly in tears. Then I just read a news report about a Pakistani man that killed his own daughters while his wife watched, in order to preserve his family's "honor".

Theists can at least imagine these people in heaven, or sleeping awaiting a resurrection. To me though, they're dead. They had one shot at life, and it ended for no good reason at all. A four-year-old girl, killed over an incomprehensibly warped concept of honor.

I've noticed that as I walk from work, wrapped in my coat, squinting against the cold, I think about the homeless people in my city. How many will die this winter, alone and cold and miserable? And why? I live in a country of such wealth -- *I* have such comparative wealth -- and yet there are people that are freezing to death for want of a coat?

It isn't death. It's senseless death. It's eating me up, I can feel it behind my eyes and in my chest.

What do you do when you get this way? I've always been aware of this stuff, why is it eating me up now?

Anybody got a god I can borrow? ;-)

Dave

Elsewhere

A lot of this has to do with the "Golden Rule"... you know.... "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you."

The problem is that these theists are using this rule to cause harm instead of good. In their mind they are doing to others (punishing for what they believe is "sin") what they believe will be done to themselves by their gawd.

I find this "golden rule" to be very presumptuous and arrogant.

AlmostAtheist

If by your comment, Else, you mean that a fair whack of senseless death results from people's beliefs, I agree.

My inability to deal with it all seems proportionate to the senselessness of it. I guess that's normal, maybe. But it still seems strange to me. Thousands of people get killed in wars, thousands die of disease and old age. But one person gets killed by a guy because he said a holy word in the wrong context or some other nonsense and THAT's the one that catches my eye.

Is it partially fear? I know that I have a near-irrational fear of random violence. I see it as something I can't defend against, since there's little motive that I can predict.

Maybe I hear about someone's life getting taken for no reason they could have forseen and I realize I am as vulnerable as they are? Maybe, but I think simple compassion is in there somewhere, too.

Dave

rebel8

There is a lot we can all do about poverty as individuals, but the bigger problems are with the way the world economy is set up. In the US we have so much cheap stuff available to us. Yesterday for example, I bought a shirt for $4. The workmanship must have taken someone a lot of time--probably a 12 yr old in China working for 25 cents an hour. It is appalling. If I totally stop buying cheap stuff, I simply short myself; it's not like I am going to start a trend that will change the world. Nothing about the world economy will change. Manufacturing jobs will not stay in the US. Child labor will not stop. It's very upsetting but I don't know what the answer is.

bikerchic

Awe (((Dave))) I hear ya, I've had these thought consume me for years. Hate to say it but I have no answers for ya.

Anybody got a god I can borrow? ;-)

Yeah I hear ya on that one too..........who cares? What kind of omni present father would let any one of his children suffer like the doG of the religious worshipers does? Beats the heck outa me!

I've noticed that as I walk from work, wrapped in my coat, squinting against the cold, I think about the homeless people in my city. How many will die this winter, alone and cold and miserable? And why? I live in a country of such wealth -- *I* have such comparative wealth -- and yet there are people that are freezing to death for want of a coat?
It isn't death. It's senseless death. It's eating me up, I can feel it behind my eyes and in my chest.
What do you do when you get this way? I've always been aware of this stuff, why is it eating me up now?

What do I do? Not enough, never enough but I have at times given a coat to a street person or two. Given them gift certificates to McDonald's, handed them hot coffee and a donuts. Donate to the Goodwill and other charities. Like I said not enough, you can't feed and clothe them all I have a hard enough time keeping a roof over my head and the government programs are over burdened and piss poor as well........don't get me started on government waste, deep pocketed assholes who don't really care beyond their own noses. It makes me so sick and there really is no need for our good old USofA to be like a third world country with regard to those in need, sigh.

So what to do? I have no answers, what works for me is to turn off the TV news, radio news and go for a long bike ride. Hug my dog, call my kids, kiss my husband and love my people like they've never been loved before but most of all be grateful knowing I'm only an accident or a paycheck away from being just like one of those homeless. We all are.

Hug you kids, kiss your wife turn off your TV, go for a long walk. Give to charities.

lynnmelo

Dave, I do believe in God, but I can still understand how you feel about the senselessness of death and violence. I feel that same frustration concerning both humans and animals. I find that as I get older, my tolerance level for senseless violence gets lower; I just can't stomach it--even in a movie, for goodness sakes!

This part of your post especially caught my eye:

I know that I have a near-irrational fear of random violence. I see it as something I can't defend against, since there's little motive that I can predict.

I have a fear of this, too. To be cliche, I call this the "existential angst" that many of us have when we take a realistic look at the world.

I don't have a solution for you, but perhaps the best thing is to take it one day at a time and do what you can as an individual when you can (along the lines of what bikerchic does).

serendipity

((( Dave ))). I assume that you don't pray, so I suggest you do the other thing that I do: Think about something else. I usually turn my attention to something I can control.

AlmostAtheist

Thanks Guys. Helpful advice, and a little "yeah, me too". 'Perciate it.

Dave

bebu

Hi AA,

Yeah, I read that story, too. That was absolutely dreadful.

Doesn't the question always boil down to: If we are not significant beings, ultimately, then there should be no "senseless death" for anyone to grieve. (Grief would also be irrelevent as an emotion, I think.) And why can "accept" those horrid war deaths, old age, etc... ??? I don't think these are 'acceptable', just because we are used to them. Broken is broken, dead is dead, whether sooner or later. It's because we are unable to shut off a voice that insists that we are all worth something, that the loss appears tragic and senseless.

If you think we are significant, and that our pain really ultimately means something, it is probably all black or white, isn't it? Is not humanity all equally valuable or valueless? Are not all deaths equally meaningful or meaningless? I'm talking about the big picture. Tragedy is just a cultural concept, or pure oversensitivity? But 'oversensitivity' refers back to a normal standard of sensitivity... so again, is it all endlessly cultural? Or is it something deeper that simply shows up in culture this way?

You could simply resolve to 'unlearn' being sensitive. That would be practical for you. (I doubt you would, though!)

bebu

Billygoat

So what to do? I have no answers, what works for me is to turn off the TV news, radio news and go for a long bike ride. Hug my dog, call my kids, kiss my husband and love my people like they've never been loved before but most of all be grateful knowing I'm only an accident or a paycheck away from being just like one of those homeless. We all are.

*gulp*

I know this doesn't directly pertain to what you're saying Dave, but I thought I'd share anyway. This year I've witnessed:

A dear friend lose her entire collection of personal belongings to Katrina.
My boss's interior design clients spend $10,000 or more to decorate a room that doesn't need decorating...a vulgar waste and wonton disrespect for what material possessions they have.
Many of my girl friends choose to stay at home with their children instead of pursue a high paying career.
How much crap I have! Stuff that I'm hanging onto, for whatever reason. Clothes I haven't worn in years. Trinkets that don't come near my decorating style and have no sentimental value. I cleaned out my home and threw everything extra into a garage sale that raised over $1,000 for two separate missions.

All of this has really convicted me to simplify my life. I am really beginning to believe that the less I have, the happier I am. I've worked so hard for the last 15 years for the Almight Dollar and what has it gotten me? Stuff. I have no savings, no retiremend funds, but I have a lot of stuff. Stuff I don't need and don't like and some of it I don't even know where it's at. How is that going to help me live a better life?

So I am focused on DISCIPLINE and SIMPLICITY in my life now. Although I don't think I could ever be a Dalai Lama or Mother Theresa, but there is something to be said for just BEING and letting your faith provide for you on a day-to-day basis. There are more important things in life than accumulating schtuff for yourself, that ultimately does nothing for your spiritual, emotional, and mental well-being.

Yes, all the senseless death gets to me too. But like Kate said, there is only so much you can do. But emotionally and spiritually taking care of yourself and your wife and instilling in your children the important things in life are key to making this world a better place. Your story in another thread of your son giving you your present first thing Christmas morning is a classic example that you're well on your way.

Senseless death is getting to me

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