what job could you have had?

by sleepy 45 Replies latest jw friends

  • Shaneliza
    Shaneliza

    Sleepy,
    I know what you're talking about. I wanted to go to hairdressing school, but my mom and step-father wouldn't hear of it. Why? Because Jehovah would take care of me.

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    To The Wiz,

    I'm not going to flame you. I know how you feel. I'm probably not of your caliber, but I too was once considered "gifted". Not any more.

    You are absolutely correct about the signifcance of lost TIME.

    If I may, though, I think that most - not all, but most - of the comments here were intended to offer encouragement to someone that we though (mistakenly, as it turns out) was stuck and unable to get himself motivated.

    But every word from your broken heart rings true. Time slips away. yet it may hapen that tomorrow or the day after that something will occur to you that generation yet unborn will thank you for. or perhaps something you say will spark an idea in your child's mind, and you will be in a position to fan that flame rather than dump cold water on it.

    This is a struggle we share.

    Best wishes to you and your kids - they have a dad who knows the TRUTH.

  • Pathofthorns
    Pathofthorns

    I liked your post alot Ginny. There is much to be said about the story in your post. I work physically and I've learned to enjoy what I do. I work for many different people, some quite wealthy. Many are facinated and remark how stressfree I seem to be and that I seem to like what I do.

    Most days I could work longer if I wanted to. Spending time at things other than working (or doing nothing but taking a "siesta" ) is better than more money.

    On the other hand I understand exactly what The Wiz is saying. The Society's policy on education is probably what fills me with the most rage and anger also. Like you said, we never got to do what we wanted and time and responsibility make it difficult or less feasible.

    I enjoyed both your posts as well as the initial comments by Sleepy. Thanks,

    Path

  • Eyebrow
    Eyebrow

    Ginny
    Your money or your life is a great book! Actually it was referred to me by a witness when I was in. Good info!

  • GinnyTosken
    GinnyTosken

    I didn't mean to trivialize Sleepy's feelings by my comments. I understand being angry about the lost years. I certainly think about the what ifs. What if my parents had supported my decision to pursue higher education? What if they'd taught me to be self-disciplined instead of fostering black-and-white thinking and blind obedience? What would I have done? What would I have been?

    On the other hand, I've also seen that having parents who encourage higher education and are supportive, both financially and otherwise, is no guarantee of success and happiness. I and my two closest worldly friends from high school all attended Indiana University. My worldly friends both finished their degrees, and one went on to become an M.B.A. much like the one in the Mexico story. He has virtually devoted his life to a corporation for the last 20 years and has never married or had a lasting relationship. Now that he can retire, he longs for a simple life in a cabin with a front porch where he can sit and watch trains.

    My other friend graduated only to run off to California and become a waitress. She began taking drugs, had a boyfriend who beat her, and had to live out of her car for awhile. Her father is an attorney and her mother is an art teacher, and they were both horrified. She eventually checked herself into a mental hospital where they determined that she is manic-depressive. She feels cheated and robbed by this mental illness.

    Things happen to everyone. We can brood about "what if," or we can accept things as they are. Expressing one's anger is part of coming to acceptance, I think.

    If I had finished my degree and pursued a different career, I may not have discovered JW discussion boards or may not have had the time to participate. I enjoy these boards immensely and feel that my life has been enriched by the people I have met and our discussions. At this moment, I feel no regrets. I am happy and content.

    I hope that Sleepy and everyone here can compose a life that provides the same joy and contentment.

    Ginny

  • TMS
    TMS

    TheWiz, Sleepy, etc.:

    Not everyone identifies with your frustration level. Some have been out for 30 years or more. Others are young enough that their lives have not been totally derailed.

    Never-been-JW's would be quick to give you a "personal responsibility" lecture.

    Unfortunately, I identify with everything both of you said. At the age of 58, I am just coming to grips with the reality of my religious "heritage". In two years I can start drawing a very small pension. I do intend to take classes in the things that have always interested me, but a degree at 64 would be of limited use.

    Actually, I don't consider myself uneducated as much as undocumented, unrequited. All those years in menial jobs were balanced by the sense of serving the brothers and Jehovah. That was the source of my self-esteem. When that mist disappeared, the reality was not attractive.

    TMS

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    I think this is a very relevant thread for those who grew up in the Borg and were swayed away from doing anything meaningful in the employment field.

    I was told not to go to college because the end was so near.

    "Armegeddon will be here before you finish your degree."

    "Searching for a high-paying job shows lack of faith in Jehovah's ability to provide."

    "Why not use your youth to pursue Kingdom interests?"

    So I forsook the chance to go to university and looked for a job. Eight months later I found one - delivering pizzas. After several months doing that and waitressing, I got a temporary job in an office. Eventually, four years after leaving school - the same amount of time it would have taken me to obtain a degree - I found a full-time job.

    It has taken another 9 years of working my way up the ladder to earn the same amount I could have been earning if I had graduated.

    I can relate to the others' feelings of bitterness over missed opportunities - thanks to our mis-placed loyalty to an organisation we thought we were serving God through.

    I am thankful that I could go to uni as a mature student if I had the inclination and motivation to do so. I left while I still am young enough to start another career if I chose to.

    Even so, the WTS is still responsible for planting in impressionable minds that higher education was not the thing for God's people, and the disillusionment that now results.

  • joelbear
    joelbear

    Individual,

    Congratulations, remember, your new life is just around the corner and that is a promise that will certainly come true. Looking forward to coming over and cooking for you and the Mrs. in a year or so.

    I want so badly to speed up my transition to what I really want to do. If it wasn't for the health insurance issue I think I would have already done it. Plus, I make very good money, even though I hate my job. If I didn't make so much, it would be easier to make a move. That proves for sure, that money alone doesn't make you happy.

    hugs

    Joel

  • JW83
    JW83

    To Sleepy et al,

    This is the thing that makes me the most angry, too. I've wasted six years of my life trying to pioneer and taking crap jobs. Just started a BA, but I'm still six years behind everyone else! The worse thing, though, is my parents. My dad was a window-cleaner, too, and just dropped that to become a roof guy. The council came down on him because he doesn't have a licence (which he didn't know he needed) so my parents are doing it hard at the moment. And they're in their late 40s, so I dread to think what will happen as they age. They also live in government housing because they gave up everything to 'move where the need is great'. Gullible, I know, but completely understandable. It makes me cry just to think about it. At least we are out and we can do something about our dreams!

    Jayne

  • nytelecom1
    nytelecom1

    I pioneered and cleaned stores in my old hometown..I remember I would be so emabarassed as the kids I went to school with would come home from college on a break...I applied and was accepted to bethel..left after a few years...I knew I couldnt go back to that hick town...i stayed in new york working for ups as a package handler..i remeber walking through mid town and see all the wall streeters and hip cats with their money..I decided to enroll in a tech school, with mixed reaction from my elders. one thought it was great...the others thought I would suffer spiritually......as I worked through school I missed plenty of meetings.i was bustin my ass..always getting weird stares from the elders...wondering if I would me removed as an m.s......now I am out and a network engineer for a multi-national...and still no armageddon...hahaha.........excuse me as i prepare my instruction talk

    you da man now
    ---------sean connery

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