How to (or not) handle the occasional JW who wanders in here

by Check_Your_Premises 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • acadian

    Hello All,

    I totally agree, these are people with needs just like us, they need our understanding, and our patience, most come here possibly for answers and understanding just like we needed and still need in many cases.

    You all need to realize that these folks ARE REAL PEOPLE

    What a grand oppertunity, to guide someone out of the WTS

    Kind Regards

  • Check_Your_Premises

    Ok, well now that I got you all agreeable...

    How about we all take it upon ourselves to help police the boards. Wait how about we help "watch over the flock". Or maybe even "give encouragement".

    No but seriously. If you see somebody laying into some unsuspecting JW who walks in here, maybe send them a friendly PM with a link to this thread just to remind them what this place is for. We are here to heal, and to vent our frustrations. But we also have a higher purpose and opportunity here.

    And remember, nothing sticks it to the WT like helping to free a trapped mind.

    (every time I inoculate someone from the tower, or help someone exit I put a notch in my Bible!)


  • telltruth

    C_Y_P, i'm not sure your definition of the word victim applies. if you consider me your victim, check your premises. i am no ones' victim. Why Georgia, i'am sure everyone who cares about a victim of the wts, more than likely has a reason to be here. while i am certain that the pain the wts caused you is real and valid, i'm not convinced that you or anyone else on the forum has the right to minimize anyone elses' pain or reason for being here. as for myself... my head is on straight and my heart is in the right place. i am not chasing after some jw because my heart aches for her, nor am i playing hero. she is someone i care about as a human being, and until such time as she no longer wishes to have a connection with me i will be the best friend i can. one would have to be an idiot not to acknowledge the unspoken hierchy here on JWD, but to wave a flag and point out that somehow you are more qualified than someone else... what point would that serve or who would that help, how....?........teltruth.

  • Check_Your_Premises

    Tell Truth,

    Hey bro, you don't have to convince me that you are/were sincere and in it for the long haul. Also, my referring to you as my victim was very tongue and cheek. I did beat up on you some when you showed up here. You also know why I did it. For every one of you there are 20 that show up here all dramatic and silly, and then we don't hear from them anymore. One is left with the impression of some flighty person who got bored or met someone else. So I like to try to scare the "my bf/gf is a jdub" types off. If I can do that they aren't in it for the long haul. You were a good sport about it all, and that is why I continue to be interested in your story.

    So go easy on Why. It is just a little aggravating to those of us who are in it for such high stakes to have someone come in here acting all dramatic and desperate, only to realize they are not all that serious or even minimally invested in the outcome. It just kind of rubs people with REAL problems/pain the wrong way. And mostly our warnings are heartfelt and well founded.

    BTW, how goes the battle? If you don't want to mention it in public, pm me.

    Hope things are going well.


  • TopHat

    When I came to this board by way of a google search for "Jehovah's anointed" I was still in the mind-set of a JW even though I had not been to a meeting in over 7 years. The JWs still came to visit and incourage me to come back. My excuse was I din't like wearing skirts and dresses. LOL The Elders told to come anyway and wear "pants suits" it would be OK. I didn't want to go back but couldn't tell them.

    I knew In my heart that something was wrong with the but couldn't put my finger on it. There were tell tale signs, sure, I couldn't prove it. But not until I read about the pedophiles and Maliwi/Mexico issue did I make a 380 degree turn in an instant without a doubt knew the WTS was BS!

    Thanks to Lady Lee and a few others for their understanding and pointing me in the right direction.. or I would have left this web site, as I came across a few rude and Godless posters.

  • Check_Your_Premises

    And another thing TT.

    I referred to the folks who show up here and then very quickly are able to nudge someone out as "doofus"

    What I meant was that it is just kind of funny for some of us who have spent thousands of hours studying cults, wt, psychology, Bible, etc. We have this huge, hard won store of knowledge and expertise. Then some guy like you strolls in here, and after a few weeks your love interest is heading for the door. So it is not that you or any other person like you is a "doofus" in the sense that you are not intelligent or even knowledgeable. It is more of a small bit of jealousy that you are able to pull it off without having to spend all the incredible amount of time researching like others here.

    I don't think you are a doofus. Just a rookie! And I am extremely jealous of, happy for, and proud of all the progress you have made.

    Keep it up!


  • one of 12
    one of 12

    It's true. This may be their first step to freedom and I would hate the" bloodguilt" of me scaring them off. I personally have had nothing but a great welcome and warmth since I started posting. It wouldn't have taken much to scare me off. I'm still struggling with the fear the elders will waltz into my home, like a police raid on a porn site , and confiscate my computer.


  • telltruth

    C_Y_P, thanks for the expanded version. tongue in cheek is harder to spot in the text. you mentioned us rookies.... this may be my first season on jwd but i carry more life experience than most. i know (because you've told me) of the "thousands of hours". in my limited exposure to all things jw i have acrued 100s' of those hours thus far and continue adding to my knowledge every day. apart from my friend you were the one who began my pursuit of this knowledge. you know i was and still am, appreciative of our first ecounter on jwd. it's honesty was it's virtue.

    ......back to your thread..... i recently watched (read) what happened with JDArley? that was a sheer waste of a chance for freedom, let's hope they have another. While it WAS a little funny to see that someone was running for popcorn.... they probably would have still been able to hang out in texas, eating popcorn even if they didn't decide to post the word apostate as the first response to a newbie of obvious providence.

    i agree with and support your ideas and views on how to handle similiar situations in the future. there are posters here who take this first post(s) moment with that level of care and concern in mind. the board would be well served if those attributes were to be shared by all. also noted that if someone doesn't have the inclination to talk to "newbies" with this in mind, perhaps they can follow along but post on another thread.......telltruth

  • jgnat

    How about the study who wanders on here thinking this is where all good JW's come to chat and hang out? "I just lurrve Jehovah so much and I knowww, it is the truth." I tend to toy with them for a few posts to see how long it takes them to clue in. I do this for a couple reasons, not all kind:

    • Obviously they are one of those people who speak before they listen. How long will it take for them to catch on? Will they learn their lesson and start reading a little more carefully?
    • I like them to hang on just a little longer to see what it's like to have a conversation with genuine people. Do they prefer la-la land over reality? We'll find out soon!
    • I ask questions. "Tell me more about yourself." This is my active curiosity at work again. Everyone is interesting and has a story to tell. What's theirs?
    • I anticipate with relish their next conversation with their study leader, "By the way, I was on the internet the other day...."

    Well, old man, HAHAHHAAA, welcome to the club of the ancients. Don't sweat it. Only old ladies like me have to worry about the biological clock. You will be hale, hearty, and fertile for decades yet.

    sonofabitch. I just noticed Im a Jedi Master. Well at least I am not 40 yet.
  • zagor

    These are fair points CYP. I was visiting this site for about 2 years before joining. During that time I've seen quite a few people come and disappear.
    I remember some time ago someone posted something about evolution or was it about snakes with legs or something. I felt sick reading responses, I haven't seen that poster ever since. We might well have lost that person forever.

    Having little bit of fun or challenge is great but if we are not respectful of other peoples feelings and views we are not adding any credibility to this site.

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