by lazuli 23 Replies latest jw friends

  • greendawn

    Lazuli welcome to the forum, it's good to see you venting your feelings.

    How are your friends in the Kingdom Hall trying to help you get over this love disappointment you are experiencing?

    In my view people of your age can be uncertain and unstable about what they want from life and if that guy left you there are plenty of others, perhaps even better ones to choose from.

    I also have to say that at your age you should be very careful on how you deal with religions like the JWs. There are many instances of youths that joined them and then had major social problems because their parents weren't there ie the JWs tend to look down upon those without parents, and especially fathers, in their organisation.

    It is also widely reported that once people get baptised, suddenly the congregation ceases to care about them and if you criticise them they will throw you out and then none of them will do as much as say hello to you.

    Calculate very carefully your every step.

  • funkyderek


    I was having doubts about the truth

    Can you take a mental step back and see how strange that sounds in the real world? "Doubts about the truth"? Why would you refer to something you have doubts about as "the truth"? You were having doubts about the teachings of the Watchtower Society, and with good reason.

    and then one pf the elders from the congregation died and his funeral was las night, after going there I realized that this was th truth and I shouldn't doubt it.

    I don't know what it was about a funeral that made you realise it was "the truth". Was it simply an emotional reaction or did they clarify some doctrine you had trouble with? Of course, as I said before, you should doubt it. If some or all of what they teach is really true, there is no harm in doubting as they will be able to provide evidence supporting their claims. If their teachings are false however, the penalty for not doubting could be a lifetime of enslavement to a false religion! Question everything.

    I have been getting so much pressure from my parents because my mom is completely against thi, she's threatened to kick me out and well our relationship has completely detiriorated, but then again it wsn't that good to begin with. My dad is also very disappointed in me but he really doesn't know anything about the Jehovah's Witnesses so his view is very stereotypical.

    It's a pity that your parents are reacting in this way, but I'm sure it's only because they want the best for you and are scared of how being a JW will change you. The "new personality" that the JWs will require you to adopt necessitates distancing yourself from "worldly" relatives.

    I'm not going to stop going to the kingdom because this has been the one thing that has brought me absolute inner peace

    You don't seem to have much inner peace.

    and I've never a closer union than that of the JWs.

    It certainly seems that way at first, but their apparent love is conditional on you accepting every aspect of their teachings and lifestyle. It will be ruthlessly withdrawn if you cease to conform.

    I just feel so pressured now and it kills me to see that my familiy is so disappointed in me. I feel very lost beause everyone around me is putting so much pressure about this.

    Don't let them. You're an adult. It's your decision. But your friends and family are concerned about you for a reason. Please please investigate the reality behind the religion before you sign up for life.

    About my ex-bf, I see him at the kingdom hall but I've pretty much given up on him now.

    That's good. He sounds like an a$$hole. Maybe you should consider a different congregation if you still find it difficult to be around him.

    I feel so much turmoil inside me but the tought of leaving the JWs breaks my heart, any suggestions???

    Yes. Find another group of people. Not necessarily instead of the JWs but as well. Join a book group or a sports team or whatever floats your boat. Go to college, travel, have fun. You're young and life is beautiful

  • lazuli

    Well, when my ex-bf and I would go to the kingdom hall he would always introduce me as his friend, some ppl even asked if I was his cousin, which always bother me because I wanted him to give me my place. Only th lady that gives me study, her husband (who happens to be the head elder) and their 18 yr. old son knew that we were a couple. A couple of weeks ago one of my girlfirends there told me that it was really obvious that we were a couple and that other ppl had noticed it too. She's not baptized either, she tried to help me out and also thinks that he is an a-hole. I never talked to the elder about it but his wife told me that he was very sad that this was happening to me. The lady that gives me study tried to help me out but I think she still sees us as getting back together someday, the other night she told me that she knew I loved him completely but what she wasn't sure of was if he loved me like a girlfriend or as a siter or friends because she told me that she notices that he gets jealous when he ses me talking to the other brothers but then again he doesn't want anything to do with me. So basically they've kept their distance about the situation but I haven't really let them know how bad I was.

  • ColdRedRain

    For the love of god, what makes you so bad? You're in a relationship with a "worldly person"? You're not a bad person because you've decided to have a relationship with somebody who happens not to be of your faith. In fact, it makes you a good person, because it shows that you would overlook cosmetic differences such as religion, race and economic factors when you're falling in love. You're just chosing somebody who happens to be the best for you in a relationship.

    You sound like a smart young woman who's just a victim of a guilt trip from an organization that makes sinners out of people who date online, people who read critical material against the religion and people who try to save their childrens lives.

    You're not a bad girl. You have alot of promise in your life.

    Say this to yourself. "I am not a sinner".

    BTW, You have a PM, lazuli.

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