How much JW love is enough?

by Spectrum 12 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Spectrum

    I've noticed over my short time on the forum that one of the indictments levied against the JWs is the lack of brotherly/sisterly love that they extend to the follow JW.
    I remember my first congregation (I was about 14/15). Of the nearly 200 people there I was only ever invited to two brother's homes over a 2 year period. My family and I were of a friendly disposition and can't tell how many of them we would invite round for dinner parties. I didn't realise how hard my mother worked to provide at these parties until years later when I tried throwing a party of my own. My mother saw it as Christian togetherness.
    In the end I gave up on that congregation and went somewhere else. The situation in the second congregation was worse. I gave it about a year and stopped going. I don't think they noticed!!
    Of course I was looking for friendship and acceptance since I had no one else to associate with apart from the dubs which made my need for acceptance by them even more necessary. Years of association and mind setting had made me socially inept outside of the JWs.
    Luckily over the years I was able to find decent friends from college and Uni.
    The question is, was the love and acceptance that I was seeking too much of a burden on people that weren't real close family members?
    Was I just too sensitive and over-doing it?
    If the answers are YES then what is this brotherly love that JWs talk about?

  • jgnat

    Well, let's see. They can't associate with real-life neighbours or co-workers, because they are "bad association". They are to avoid those who are "spiritually weak" in the congregations, because apparently Satan roams the Kingdom hall as well, and "bad association spoils useful habits." If you are married to a non-JW, this knocks you off the visitor's list. This leaves the full-time pioneers and their spouses, on non-meeting nights. But what if YOU are not worthy of THEIR association?

    The best way to force some association is to move to a new neighbourhood, claim you are new to the Witnesses, and request a home bible study. Now they can count their hours. Instant attention.

    The WTBTS culture is so stratified, it's a wonder anyone can talk to anybody.

  • jgnat

    By comparison, I build up friendships in the "world" by building on small acts of kindness. Grateful people reciprocate, and from this, great friends are made. It might start with a chat over the fence. Follow up with a gift of cookies. Ask them to pick up our mail when we go on holidays. Follow up with some thank-you cookies. Invite them over for tea. Plan a garage sale together. When tragedy strikes, feel the pain with them. Send over cookies.

    Why isn't this happening amongst the Witnesses? Because they can never be sure if the friendship can be maintained. So it remains on the surface, and there is no natural exchange or building of kindnesses. Trays of my cookies have been returned, untouched, from book study night. You never know, they might be demonized.

  • Honesty
    Because they can never be sure if the friendship can be maintained.

    Jgnat just 'pegged' the Jehovah's Witnesses' love for what it is.

    It's all about the Faithful Discreet Slave and not about Jesus.

    One thing I have learned since leaving the Watchtower Society and accepting the love of Christ is that if you love Jesus and worship Him you will also love other people just as He has loved us from eternity even though we are born sinners and will have a sinful nature until we are completely reconciled to Him either at our death or when He appears a second time to bring salvation to those who are waiting for Him.

  • Virgogirl


    "Trays of my cookies have been returned, untouched, from bookstudy night..." That is the meanest thing I have ever heard of! I'm embarassed for them!

  • Star Moore
    Star Moore

    Also everybody is trained to be a narc, so we were afraid to get close to anyone. An elder could take you in the back room for saying something 'human' about someone, and then the next thing you know, they'll be giving a 'local needs' talk about the women, and how they have a tendency to 'gossip' in the congregation!!!!!

  • Gretchen956
    How much JW love is enough?

    Therein lies the entire problem. The question is an oxymoron. Their love is conditional. Conditional on fear and suspicion. No one can thrive under those conditions, you can only exist.


  • Golf


    Spectrum, its' not love. What they display is a 'form of godly devotion but proving false to its power; and from these turn away." 2Tim 3:5

    Gretchen956 hit the nail on the head.


  • Spectrum


    Interesting quote, I suppose we can say they love their rules and regulations like the followers of Judaism but at least they jews help each other.

  • greendawn

    Spectrum that was precisely my experience with the JWs they understand nothing about the human need for love and acceptance and that attitude comes from higher up. But a social life and contact is what makes you tick.

    It shows that this is a business rather than a christian organisation they just don't care about developping a real ambience of brotherly love.

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