A question for all the new ones

by Lady Lee 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    What made you decide to post?

    I know some lurk for a while - sometimes a long while.

    Others find the site and do a bit of reading and sign and post immediately.

    Others still sigh up but don't post for a long time.

    What prompts you to make the first post?

    It seems to me that one posts and all of a sudden a bunch of other new posters show up. Does seeing one new poster encourage you to post too? Do you wait to see what kind of reaction they get and then jump in?

    I know a lot of questions - which I don't usually do but I am really curious about what motivates people.

    Maybe it's desperation? Relief?

  • Super_Becka

    Aha, the first reply, it's kinda nice.

    Anyway, what made me sign up and start posting?? Well, being the "worldly" girlfriend of an unbaptized and very inactive JW (you'd think that would make things easier, but it doesn't), I'd been lurking around this forum for a while in my clandestine research (I research in private because it offends my boyfriend that I'm learning the truth about "the Truth" ), and when I finally got up the nerve to do it, I signed up and posted right away. I needed some advice, someone to talk to about my situation and someone to share some experiences with me, and this seemed like the place to get all of that. I was right.

    Best thing I ever did, too, signing up here and posting. The board is full of helpful, caring people who aren't afraid to tell it like it is but still lend a shoulder to cry on when it's needed. Not to mention the wealth of knowledge that's floating around the board, it's just great. Thanks guys!!

    -Becka :)

  • limbogirl

    I've been looking at this forum and others like it for some time -- laughing at some of the stories and experiences and crying at others. I finally joined and began posting because by not doing so I felt like there was still a bit of a hold on me by the wts and my family. Two years ago I divorced my non-baptised, raised in JW world husband. He doesn't go to meetings nor does he believe the JW teachings but he's still very much controlled by them -- he doesn't want to disappoint them. Still goes to the memorial meeting, etc. Although he and I lived a non-JW life for many years we never took it as far as I wanted -- for example, fully celebrating the holidays. Now that I'm divorced I do things the way that I want which includes celebrating the holidays, birthdays, generally loving life and embracing it to its fullest -- the past two years have been the best of my life -- complete freedom to be me. I want my son to grow up with this perspective -- to know that he can be anything he wants to be, he can make choices and celebrate life. I suppose posting on this site was just a natural progression in my recovery from JW-world. Plus, it is such a relief to be able to talk JWspeak with others who fully understand it. Finally, as a JW I grew up "observing" life -- now I'm a participant in this wonderful life we all have and in order to fully participate I felt compelled to join this forum. And a big thanks to all of you who have paved the way for those of us just joining!!!

  • confused_101

    I had been thinking to myself for a few days that I needed to do a search and see if anything like this site was out there, and voila it was. This was the first place that I went to. I looked around for a few minutes the joined and made my first post as soon as I could. I just wanted to be able to vent about and discuss things that other people understand. I vent to my hubby but he was raised under a different religion and he doesn't understand what I'm talking about. He is confused by the basics of JW…lol.

    It's still sticks into my brain all the times that we were told "not to pay any attention to apostates" and "don't even look in their direction" I was always curious as to why they were such bad people, I got the impression that they were like the worst people alive...lol, and here I am questioning everything that I was raised to believe and telling others to do the same. Does that make me an apostate? Oh well if it does.

    I too can't wait for my 2 boys to grow up and be able to enjoy their lives without the fear that was instilled into me. To where they can be whatever it is that they want to be and to where they can believe whatever it is that they want to.

    I’m glad that this site was here, it’s nice to be able to moan and groan to others that understand. Thanks to everyone here for making me feel as if I belong!

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    wow all 3 of you have about the same number of posts here.

    I think I lurker too for a while. But it has been a long time since then. I know I was scared of the sky falling but I posted and the sky is still there.

    Glad it is working for you Becka


    I finally joined and began posting because by not doing so I felt like there was still a bit of a hold on me by the wts and my family.

    That's an interesting thought. I had never seen it that way. It really does break that rule about not talking to apostates. Really empowering.

    confused 101

    This was the first place that I went to. I looked around for a few minutes the joined and made my first post as soon as I could.

    I believe this is the biggest and busiest X-JW borad on the net. I have been to a couple of others. Each has its own flavor. But for support and information this is the best to combine both. In the index there is a list of some really great information boards. People will often refer to them.

    Never can have too much information

  • skyman

    Interesting. I hope other will keep this topic going for awhile so we understand how to get more to post here and start the healing.

  • force

    i was reading on here for about 6 mnths. i looked for jehovah witness on google and it gave me this group. i read a few other groups but this one had some good stuff that made me laff. i posted when i got really sick of things at home. i didnt do it becus others did, but i did notice a few new people around at the same time.

  • Mysterious

    I'm not exactly new but do remember what it was like when I came here. I don't think I read the threads here for very long before I started posting. I had already reached a point by the time that I was here that I knew the organization was wrong so I didn't need to read more to decide I belonged.

    My first post was in a thread on homosexuality. Since that was one of the reasons I left the organization and I felt I had a unique perspective to offer I posted to contribute to that thread. My first thread which was only 15 posts later was to tell my story. I didn't really have too many people I could talk to that understood. Any of my worldly associates I had to give too much backstory to for them to understand. I just needed somewhere that others could understand what I was saying.

  • limbogirl

    another great thing about this forum is that it allows my boyfriend to get some perspective on what I went through with JWs. It's hard to explain this stuff to someone who hasn't been around it -- all they know is that JWs don't celebrate holidays and go door to door but it's the rest of the experience growing up JW that is hard to articulate. I showed him the site and gave him my alias and told him to look at my postings and the related threads for some insight. So far I haven't scared him away!!!

  • 2Stepper

    Hello Lady Lee and everyone else on the board.

    I just joined the board this afternoon and was getting ready to make my first post and introduce myself when I saw your question. I was a witness for 12 years and walked out of the Hall for the last time about 14 years ago. For several years I tried not to think about religion or God because I was convinced that I was nothing more than a marshmallow waiting to be toasted. Then I found the old H2O site and found out the truth about the truth. I lurked there for quite a while and then in an effort to purge myself of anything having to do with the witnesses I stopped. That didn't work so I went back to H2O but it had changed. That is when I found this place and I have been lurking here ever since.

    I guess it has taken so long to join in is because I was so screwed up I didn't feel that I had anything worth while to comment on. It's just been within the last year that I've really come to terms with everything and finally rid myself of most of my witness programing. Also I was intimidated by the quality of some of the posters here. There are some really sharp people here and being slow of mind and even slower of typing I was comfortable just reading what others had to say.

    In answer to your question the main reason that I decided to join in was because I felt indebted to everyone here. This site has helped me more than words can describe and maybe in some small way I might be able to help someone else.

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