Setting examples for the still JW

by oldflame 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    While I can respect the possibliity that this site will be visited by current JW's and that opportunity does exist in this forum to perhaps halp some out of the cult, this site serves as great a purpose in allowing those who have been so hurt to express the reality of that hurt. I don't see how that can be so fully controlled speech so as to 'attract' Jw's.

    This site is after all is said a 'discussion forum' - in all it's good and bad that comes with that. It is not here to offer an alternative to jw's, although that may happen from time to time for some, or it might be called


  • carla

    Some people do go over the top once and awhile. I may have myself a few times (sweetscholar). However, the loss of freedom is not something that we should give up easily. What next? Certain topics that offend? doctrines in which there is no clear cut answer and could offend? Part of freedom is responsibility yes, just like when I see a topic that I know is maybe not for me, just like the tv I can turn off, I don't bother with a certain thread. That is part of freedom, being free to choose. Are you talking mainly bad language? or language that insinuates the wt is full of crap errors and false prophecies mistakes? The jw who visits here already thinks we are all evil apostate drug & sex addicts anyway! If you want to keep them in some protective bubble, guess what, eventually that bubble pops somewhere! There are people who say bad things, use bad language and are even atheists! This is the real world. There is no magic bullet to get them out. I know, I've been looking a long time and so have many here, a lot longer than me.

    Even if people get a bit 'hot' does that mean you cannot get over the discussion? When I was growing up there were quite a few 'heated discussions' at the dinner table, part of maturity is knowing that's all it is, a discussion. You can continue to have a relationship with the person even if you disagree. On the board you could use dfed as an example, there were many heated debates, yet some people get quite worried if he doesn't post in a day or two. Obviously they disagree on many points and some of those were a bit heated. The language or semantics is not what will keep them from coming here, I would think some of the sex related threads and even holiday threads would be just as offensive to them as any language they probably have heard at a door anyway.

  • Finally-Free

    Most of the content of this forum isn't any worse than what I see on prime time television. I'm all for treating someone with respect provided they treat me the same way - the same as I would expect in real life. But if someone comes in shooting off a big mouth and being insulting to people they've never even met, they should expect people to respond in kind - just as it would occur in real life.

    They may be Jehovah's Witnesses, but that doesn't entitle them to be treated better than anyone else.


  • Jez

    There is another thread connected to this idea started by Golf entitled, "Site slowly maturing". You may be interested to check it out.


  • oldflame


    Assertive rather than aggressive

    Sorry that was what I meant, I used the wrong word.

    My thought on this whole thing was this, I asked myself if I were still a JW would I come into this site after reading certain threads or post. I realize that we have a freedom of speech and it is a great freedom. I also understand that we as ex JW's have a great need to vent. I don't know maybe I am to compassionate towards others feelings.

    My goal as an ex witness is to get as many out of that terrible cult. I was helped out when coming out and feel the need to help others. Thanks for the replies...

  • Sassy

    When I used to come here in the beginning.. I was an active JW.. an admin on a pro JW board searching out those bragging about infiltrating our board..

    I remember being shocked by some of the titles of the threads and horrified at what little I read.. and I must admit I read very few of those, scanning to look for threads talking about WOL or GreatCrowd or ForverFriends boards.. My first impression was, this is exactly that the borthers warn us when you turn apostate. it was like touching a hand to the oven..

  • rebel8

    I respect the right of all of us to choose whether or not to spend our energies helping others out of the cult. However, being hostile and confrontational to a current JW who built up the extreme courage to dip their toe in "apostate" waters is intentionally trying to prevent and discourage them from leaving the cult. Those who don't want to help shouldn't actively try to hinder; it is mean spirited.

  • Enigma One
    Enigma One

    Yes, perhaps we shouldn't mention certain things either. We wouldn't want to look bad to the JW's. Or heaven forbid, what would the neighbor's think?

    This is the exact glad handing that happened to us as Dubs. Pedophila.....ssssh! Let's push that under the rug, it's something ugly we don't want to talk about. Doctrinal issues? Ssshh....wait on Joe Hoover.....just sit back and take our crap until then.

    OldFlame you talk about all the "potential" victims that "might" be helped out of the org. Guess what? Look around you right now. There are hundreds if not thousands of vicitims here RIGHT NOW. What about them? These victims are needing to heal and "move on" with life. What about them Old Flame? How do some of these people restart lives after 15, 25, 35 years in an abusive cult? When they have been cut off from everyone they know. Where do they go? Should you tell them, "Hey can you tone down your anger.....I know you were sexually abused as a child.....but all this anger isn't PC". I dealt with leaving the Dubs in my own way. Before the internet. I wouldn't dare tell someone else how they should feel, say, or do based on their recovery from the WTBS.

    The truth shall set you free.

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