Setting examples for the still JW

by oldflame 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • oldflame
    oldflame

    I read more threads than I post too. I had a thought ? What if I were still a JW and I came here to JWD and read many post that had Hate God or abusive language etc in them would I continue to come back here ? I have to wonder if there would not be more JW's here and leaving the society if we were a little more selective in our words and thoughts ?

    I believe it is by our actions and words that others see what kind of person or people we are and if the still JW comes here and sees those post that are crude and rude, thoughtless of others, foul words etc... that the JW say's to themselves "YEP" the society was right about those who leave the organisation....

  • pennycandy
    pennycandy

    I totally agree. I would not send any doubting JW's here as their first exposure to "the other side". I think this site is better for the more seasoned who've lost most of their judgementalism and are now open to new things.

    But those who just have some doctrinal issues or have experienced a lack of love but still believe are likely to be scared right back.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5


    Ok, so we should still be ruled by the society? Life on the outside aint pretty (it aint so pretty on the inside either ). But the rank and file jw knows that all websites or message boards should be suspect and they take their chances when they go to any site. It's almost like you're telling me to take down my cross when my parents come to visit so I wouldn't offend them. Sorry but I wont do it.

    Josie

  • pennycandy
    pennycandy

    Not at all. I'm glad there're places like this where people with our commonality can share opinions and debate and have fun without the constant threat of "stumbling" another. That's freedom. Those of us who've developed a thick skin and our own opinions have a lot to gain here.

    But you'd have to admit that most witnesses would gasp and cover their eyes reading some of what's here. They need "softer" ex-jw sites to slowly expose them to other views.

  • pennycandy
    pennycandy

    I hope you keep tellin' it like it is, Mrs. Jones!

  • carla
    carla

    In theory I can agree with you. However, maybe you need to go back and read some of the (what I call) the human wreckage stories. I do not believe it would be wise to temper everbody's speech here to accomodate current jw's. Maybe they need to see the anger, the hurt, the emotional turmoil that the society has caused. Many of these people here have what I consider to be a 'righteous anger'.

    Some have thought they healed sufficiently only to have something trigger the anger, frustration and even despair yet again. They then must start the process all over again. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, so they say. What is difficult is when the being 'killed' sounds easier than the 'getting stronger'. Jw's need to understand that part of the human condition is to feel pain and anger, even at God. I cannot believe that a jw who has lost a child, didn't, even if it was for a moment get mad at God. Why take my child?

    Jw's should learn that there are all kinds of people in the world and simply because they don't belong to the exclusive club, they aren't bad people worthy of death. There are all types of people out there, what jw's forget is they are all God's creation. (for bible believing folks) Everybody is in a different walk in their faith, in their healing from abusive cults. Should they use bad language? probably not (I think Simon has a rule somewhere)

    Trying to regulate speech will not accomplish what you hope. If that hope is for current jw's to come here and see the light. They can only see it when they are ready to take off the blinders and face a few hard facts of what they have put their hope, eternity and future in. Being ungodly men full of hypocricy and lies.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    With the freedom of speech goes responsibility. Those of us who had the freedom of speech taken away realize how precious it is. We never want to lose it again.

    We have been on one side of the pendulum. And it is a normaul reaction to swing widely (and sometimes wildly) to the other side. But saying whatever we want at the price of our socail responsibility isn't helpful either. As in all things we need balance.

    We need to be free to say what we want and need to say. But that does not include words that insult, deman or hurt others.

    The publisher Zondervan says the following:


    Introduction to the Green Ribbon Campaign

    As the world's leading Christian publisher, Zondervan recognizes that the right to free speech is one of the most important and fundamental rights of liberty. We support the right to free speech in all its forms. We also call for responsibility in exercising this right.

    Good citizens know they're accountable for their actions (someone has said, “My right to swing my arm ends when my fist hits your nose”). There are those, however, who tend to forget that they also are held accountable for their words. That's how laws against libel and slander are sustained. Just as in life rules, limitations, and boundaries guard against physical anarchy (e.g., traffic laws, social graces), so too limitations exist to guard against verbal incivility.

    Words have a power all their own. At Zondervan we're in the business of publishing life-changing words. Author Tim Stafford, in his book That's Not What I Meant!, says, “Words can hurt. Words can heal. Therefore it is of the utmost importance that we pay attention to our words.”

    The advent of the Internet has seen a staggering growth in the potential for the freedom of speech and expression to people throughout the world. Sadly, in some quarters, this same freedom is being abused and used irresponsibly as a smoke screen to communicate in a vulgar, profane, violent, and insulting manner.

    Dr. Alan Keyes, former U.S. ambassador to the United Nations Economic and Social Council, says in his book, Our Character, Our Future, “Freedom requires that at the end of the day, we accept the constraint that is required....”

    http://www.zondervan.com/desk/green.asp


  • oldflame
    oldflame

    I was not saying that it is wrong of us to show our hurt and anger. A person can be agressive without being abusive and that is my point here. I understand the pain and anger that comes from learning about the WTBS because I was there also and I am bitter about being decieved but more angry at myself for allowing myself to be fooled and not doing the research before I did after leaving.

    I think people and I mean anyone can tell the difference of expressing anger and hurt without the use of certain words. I truly believe it is by our actions is how we are determined by others and if we are really here to help others to leave the cult or cults, then I think by our use of words might draw a bigger attention to JWD, How many more JW's would become ex JW's if we used better choices in our words.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    oldflame I'm one who agrees with you totally.

    I think people and I mean anyone can tell the difference of expressing anger and hurt without the use of certain words.

    I've been on the net for many years now and on this forum for a few years. Sadly not everyone knows how to express their feelings assertively (different than aggressively). If everyone knew how to discuss or debate we wouldn't even need a "Terms of use" for the forum

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    That's just it. Some arent here to help others leave the cult. I'm not. I will gladly help point someone in the right direction but I feel no ownership about helping anyone out. I (speaking for myself only) am here of other reasons. I know there are some here who are actively helping people to get out and I totally respect that. But I will not censor my speech here, well I will try to be nice, but censor...no way.

    Josie

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