i need some advise

by bayrhino 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • bayrhino

    we'll were do i start i've surfed your board and i now at the point of breaking away from the jw organization . for about 2 years now i've read and done some research and seen all the lies cover up read "crisis if conscience" ray franz and i got to the meeting and see all these people hundreds just going about not being open minded if WT tells these people the world is flat the thats what they'll believe and never question it. we'll im 28 and been a jw all my life met my wife got married i have 2 wonderfull kids. my dad is and elder and so is my older brother. recently for almost a year i've been inactive and drop the meetings to only sundays . i've tryied going to the book study with my wife and wierd as it sound the week that i went it was about daniel and the destruction of jerusalem in there famed 602 date i got sick to my stomach and sat there listenig to all these people commenting just reading no research. so i called my brother the elder and my dad the elder i showed them all my research and the answer was the destruction of jerusalem was not in 587 or 586 bacause thats not what the society says.i showed then copys of the babylon tablets and other evidence i told them i need an answer on this. a week later my dad called me and said that there nothing much he could say and if thats what the society says then thats what it is tha the have the truth and we can't relly on worldly info. what a bag of crap ifelt this anger and felt cheated so long story short now i have problems with my parents siblings ,in laws , cousins, uncles and the whole circus. my wife has been supportive but she tells me to let go or drop it. BUT I CAN'T . i don't care of the new light excuse that they have aslo given me .

    i hope somebody has been in this situation that could help me. i love my wife and my 2 kids but i refuse to have my kids go out and preach and my wife understands she goes by herself. i play with them. but she gets a ear full from her parents and i do too from mine. how could i get out and still not lose about 50 of my family member? please help

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff
    how could i ;get out and still not lose about 50 of my family ;member?

    Bayrhino - welcome.

    It has not been done successfully by many I fear. Whether prominent or lowly it seems to be the same. If you get tossed, you lose your family oftentimes.

    I was fortunate, wifey left with me. Others have not been so lucky. You have a large family in it sounds. Odds are you will not be able to get that many to leave with you.

    This will take a major coop to accomplish.

    SOme here have gotten some of thier family out with them. There are some good stategies that have worked for some. HOpe you can find one to fit your situation.

    We are here if we can help. PM me if u like.


  • bigmouth

    Welcome bayrhino,you sound like a man who is passionate about what you do and believe.To be brought up in the truth and to have been thinking hard about what you believe is not common.I think subtlety with your wife and children is the key.With your insight into how the organisation works I think you know that she will have to come to her decision in her time.Just feed little bits of information lightly and good naturedly.Continue loving your family as you are.They may be all you have for the time being.Post here again very soon.Keep learning.Thoughts with you.Pete

  • Oroborus21


    At first I thought it was going to be some advice on how to spell "advice" :-) that's just a joke.

    My friend there are many here on this board that have been where you are and still thousands of JWs past and to come who will also stand at the crossroads where you now stand. You are on a journey which will likely lead you entirely out of the Org. Do yourself a favour. Read most of the "best of" posts here and get some more info from all of the wonderful sources that are freely available to you on the Net.

    You are absolutely right about the Jerusalem date and the Society is absolutely wrong. There is nothing more you need to know about that.

    Personally, I believe that there is hope for the Organization but not without significant changes in the near future. You may decide to remain "in" for your own reasons and it isn't right for anyone else to judge your choice if you do. But if you do, I would encourage you to work in whatever ways you can to improve the Organization and to help bring the real fire of truth to whomever you can, beginning with your family if possible. There are others here more qualified than myself who can guide you on the best approaches for doing that.

    best of luck. Keep participating on the forum. You will find a good community here.

    -Eduardo Leaton Jr., Esq.

  • The Lone Ranger
    The Lone Ranger

    I am in exactly the same shoes mate. I have known of the WST lies for about 5 years now, but I still go to meetings, I was at that bookstudy also when they discussed 607BCE and I know exactly how u felt, I didn't answer up that evening at all.

    All my family are JW"s and my friends are mostly JWS, I am married to a good woman and I have 2 teenage girls (step girls). I know others will give you different advice but as far as I am concerned, just keep playing their game, its not really worth it to get yourself DFed or DA. not when your whole life has revolved around them, just keep telling your wife little bits and pieces and slowly I am sure she will see the lies of the WTS, but it can take a few years, "walk the walk and talk the talk".

    As far as your dad is concerned, don't forget that he is an Elder and he is mostly concerned of his postion, its a great shame to be stood-down as an Elder and he won't let that happen untill he is 110% sure and a little news ' here and their' isn't enought, but keep telling him things in PRIVATE and let him think about it.

    Another reason why I keep going to the meeting is because of my teenage girls, although the WTS isn't the truth, its better for them to have freinds from the KH then their school friends. Of course I will discourage them to get batized and I have also tell them little bits and pieces so that they won't have blind faith in the WTS, when they are older I will except them to go their own way and so will I.

    Be Innocent like a dove but Cautious like a serpent.

  • yaddayadda

    I would endorse The Lone Rangers comments. Don't make a big scene or go around upsetting everyone with all your newly learned information. Arguing won't work with JW's. Just try and act out of love towards everyone, including those ignorant JW's that can't see the wood for the trees. They need pity more than anything. The org has used you for a long time, so now you can use the organisation for any good you and/or your family can still get out of it, if you want, but mentally go your own way.

  • misspeaches

    you have recieved some good advice thus far. I can't really offer anything more than what has already been said.

    suffice to say I am so sorry to hear of the anguish you are going through. Stick around keep posting. You will grow stronger.

    Welcome onboard

  • greendawn

    They don't tell this to people when they join the JWs but when one decides to leave they will put a distance between you and themselves, if not all most of them. The important thing is to keep your wife. Otherwise it's not worth believing in a lie.

  • Legolas

    Welcome to the board!

    I am cooking supper right now so I will have to get back to your post a little later. Hang in there

  • jgnat

    I'd work on bringing your wife around if you can. It would be a disaster if you were estranged from your wife and your two little boys. It took you a long while to come to your conclusion. It is a big step to walk away from a life you've always known. Congratulations!

    Just as it took you years to figure out, it may take years to bring your spouse around. You need to be quiet for now so she doesn't panic, and come up with a personal plan to introduce independent thinking in your home.

    Here's a blog full of tips to help UBM's, or Unbelieving Mates. It's written for non-JW's so some of the information may be "duh" to you, but hopefully you will get some benefit from it.


    You might get comfort from ithinkisee's thread, who successfully brought his wife around. They are now travelling their new life, away from the society, together.

    Your wife was happy with a quiet once-a-week visit to the KH. Why don't you keep that up in the meantime, just until things calm down a bit?

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