Two weeks 'til DA day?

by AuldSoul 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • AuldSoul
    AuldSoul

    If you have been following anything about my situation (likely not), I have been baptised for 20 years. My profile (as of today) says:

    I have committed no immorality. I have only stopped believing that the Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses represents the interests of God in any way. I found out about them joining the UN/DPI and wrote two letters to them. One response came to me, the second to the Body of Elders. Neither admitted that they had done anything but *register* with the UN/DPI. I tried to hold them accountable to the standards they impose on me. When I was told by a Circuit Overseer and my father, the Presiding Overseer, that the Organization answers only to itself and to Jehovah, I decided I could no longer trust anything that Organization says. That includes the dangers of 'apostate' Web sites. So, here I am.

    I have been told to "just shut up" about "it" by two elders. A CO told me, "You know it would be unwise to spread this, because what if they correct it later?" Well, I think the answer is obvious to anyone; once it is corrected I'll stop talking about it.

    For one year I have been struggling with this. I have become more and more free as time has progressed while pleading with the BOE to help me get this resolved. I have repeatedly been told that my course is following a path these elders have seen before; gradually moving farther away from God's organization. It raises the question in my mind: If this you have seen this gradual moving away before, when will something be done to prevent it? When will the one become more critically important than the ninety-nine?

    Either way, I am almost at the end. Depending on the results of the next two weeks I will either be struggling longer or I will be DA'ing myself. I suspect it will be the latter. If I don't, I will eventually be DF'd in absentia and I would rather be DA'd than DF'd.

    Just thought I'd update anyone who cares.

    AuldSoul

  • Es
    Es

    Hope all goes well for you, keep us updated on how things go

    all the best

    es

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free
    If I don't, I will eventually be DF'd in absentia and I would rather be DA'd than DF'd.

    The sad thing is that, under the new arrangement, they will only announce that you are no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses. Many will wrongly assume that you're guilty of immorality or some other wrongdoing, and they'll drag your name through the mud. I DA'd, and it was announced as such, but now, over 2 years later, they are still gossiping about my "exploits". I wish I could hear some of the stories - I could use the entertainment.

    If you are going to DA, consider sending a letter to all JWs you know before the elders make an announcement. This way they'll hear your side of the story and some may even stop and re-evaluate their own beliefs.

    Best of luck to ya,

    W

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    AS - keep us up to date.

    IMHO, the only reason to DA would be in a case where they are likely to DF you and this way you choose the punishment. But either way, is it not the same? It still might be considered to be 'playing by their rules' - and since the cong will hear the same style announcement now, what difference does it really make - except in your piece of mind perhaps.

    No criticism of whatever you do of course, just throwing that out there.

    Wifey and I are beginning to think we have been Da'd in abstensia, but we are unsure. Like you, one of the bigtime issues with me is the UN fiasco. Such a lack of integrity on things of this sort make it impossible for me to ever return, in spite of the personal pain that leaving has brought.

    Best to you -

    Jeff

  • blondie
    blondie

    Of course, you could send letters before it happens and put a notice in the most read rag in your area with a pithy statement as to your status.

    Blondie

  • Narkissos
    Narkissos

    AuldSoul,

    I don't understand about the "two weeks". Is it some deadline you give yourself, or is there something going on (sorry if you have explained that elsewhere).

    Anyway, best wishes to you.

    The sacrifice of "good reputation" may be incredibly costly to anybody with a JW background. I had to face disfellowshipment to realise how much that meant to me (and I was surprised). But there is no other way to freedom than "despise the shame" (cf. Hebrews 12:2).

  • Cordelia
    Cordelia

    auldsoul i care! you have been a massive help to me on my threads and i really appreciate that,

    if theres anything i can do to help let me know, i thin k you have a wife do you? in that case it makes it extra hard i have lost my hubby coz i just cant go back anymore!

    but stay strong you will feel better in yourself if you stand by what you think is right (god i wish i could take my own advice sometimes )

    let us know how you go on,

  • onesong
    onesong

    I care Auldsoul and can sympathize. I struggled for nearly a year knowing how wrong things are but not wanting to be df'd. I avoided the CO and DO when they visited me and the elders up until 2 months ago. I finally let them in, talked with them, explained many of the things I thought were wrong and 2 weeks later found out I was announced as no longer a Witness.

    It was obviously difficult and still is-I never even got to say goodbye to my family, but I am glad it reached a head and it's over. I now feel relieved and totally liberated.

    Hope all goes well, Onesong

  • TopHat
    TopHat

    You are in good company AuldSoul....Isn't that why Jesus was killed? The hypocrical religious leaders of his time were trying to shut him up for revealing the truth of their wrong doing against God?

  • sass_my_frass
    sass_my_frass

    Why play their game? There's not any difference between DA and DF anymore, they make the same announcement. If you DA, as far as the congregation is concerned, you're no longer a JW and therefore to be shunned. You probably want to make a clean break, but why do it by their rules? Why not just quietly get on with your life elsewhere, and not cause yourself the grief of shunning?

    I'm DF'd and it bloody hurts hon. I only confessed to play the card that they'll more likely consider me repentant if I tell them myself rather than waiting for Motherdarling to give them a call and dob me in. The end result was the same though... I'm now shunned. I've just recently decided not to write everybody a letter with the evidence against the organisation, because it truly achieves nothing but turning me into an apostate. None of them will read it. They'll just bin it and consider it a good excuse to treat me horribly.

    You don't know that you'll be DF'd anyway; they'll need to get the goods on you first. Why not take your time, set yourself up in your new life at your own pace, and then one day if you're 'sprung', it won't be such a big deal.

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