ross i do actually blame myself but you have made me feel better tho if it is cancer i dont know what ill do, my dad is so wonderful he even says he doesnt want to tell me about it as he doesnt want to influence my decision, he wants me to come back for jehovah he doesnt want me to go with 'the boy' but he wants me not to do things for him, he is a lovely man,
biker chic i know what u mean but i had made a decision, the problem was carring it thru, esp when i did tell my parents and they keep acting like i could still do 'the right thing!'
Cordy:My dad is a lovely man, too. He's hopelessly devoted to the WTS, though.
The sad thing is that the "Jehovah" that they want you to return to entails far more than acknowledging a Deity. The return, that they desire, is nothing short of complete bondage.
If your dad has cancer, love him and be devoted to him as much as he allows.
But what does your dad's illness have to do with moving on in your life, making adult decisions? They are separate issues. Stick to your guns, both with the screaming parent (your mom) and the paining parent (your dad).
I still don't understand why your ex can forbid your daughter to be an angel. It seems to me you are still taking all the blame.
By the way, my mother-in-law has been "dying of cancer", only "a few months left to live" for over fifteen years! My children are on to her game and now refuse to visit her. Not that I think your dad is faking it, but I refuse to allow a false sense of sympathy or guilt force me to go where I don't want to be.
biker chic i know what u mean but i had made a decision, the problem was carring it thru, esp when i did tell my parents and they keep acting like i could still do 'the right thing!'
No Hun making a decision means caring it through regardless of what anyone else says or does. That is my point, it is your life no one will work harder at making your life work than YOU. You are an adult and your parents will learn honor your decisions when you start keeping them. Don't give into their unreasonable request, do what you know and need to do to make your life work regardless of their whims, health issues or the guilt they try to lay on you to go back to a cult you know is not where you want to go. Reach your arm up over your head and feel that bony thing in the middle of your back, it's called a backbone, we all have one we just don't always put it to use to stand up for ourselves.
If it means you need to stay away from them for a long while sobeit. When it hurts to cut the cord it means it's long overdue. Cut it and move on, busy yourself in rebuilding the life you want. You may have to go as far as moving and changing your phone number and not giving them it.
I will admit I haven't read the whole thread it was simply too painful to read......I do get the jest that you seem to be too emotionally involved with your father, they call this emotional incest you might want to give that a consideration and look for counseling to help you thorough this.
