Hey all! I came upon this board as I was trying to find some social doctrine answers regarding Jehovah's Witnesses. I've been looking over this board and feel I've found a new home. I actually met a JW online... actually, he was not a JW at the time... he had been disfellowshipped and just recently, much to my absolute chagrin, was reinstated.
Though he was not an "official" JW, he wanted to conduct himself in an "appropriate" manner...
I had no idea what this entailed -- at first. He told me that when we met, we shouldn't touch at all, shouldn't be in one another's vehicle... I was willing to meet him under these conditions -- at first. But, when I realized that I was attracted to him, I realized how impossible it would be for me to refrain from wanting to touch him - nothing sexual. I actually don't need to have sex before marriage, but I do need touch. Our conversation also could not have any sexual connotation. He replaced the word "orgasm" with "sporgmatic." It wasn't until later I realized the very particular nature of language JW's have in their "system of things."
I told him that I wasn't sure I'd be able to continue without touch... I was very upfront with him. Well, long story short, touching ensued... he and I both shared some amazing chemistry, both touching and NOT touching. I'd actually never experienced this sort of thing with anyone.
Later, however, he would tell me that all this was attributable to what he called "OCD" - things I'd say were natural human inclinations (that yes, we shouldn't overindulge in necessarily). He said that things wouldn't leave his mind - he was obsessively thinking about them and this made him question his beliefs. He told me he kept praying to Jehovah for guidance.
When he said we needed to break from each other, I read an immense amount of literature regarding JWs. (One book was extremely fascinating to me - The Orwellian World of Jehovah's Witnesses.) I realized that this was considered "apostate" literature and kept my reading hidden from him. In later conversations, I'd use my new knowledge of JWs and their "system" of beliefs in casual conversation... he thought I was learning to become one... really, I was just trying to get him to trust me...
This was all for not, of course. And in the long run, I knew it... but I felt I should still be armed with knowledge. He and I were both falling for each other, we knew it... and we knew we'd have to split ways.
And let me tell you it SUCKS. Since his reinstatement, I've not talked with him. It hurts to know that he's been indoctrinated to believe I'm "bad association" and I realize the futility of the situation I'm faced with... because I know that if I offer opposition, he'll look at me as though I'm a very bad influence.
I miss him terribly and feel an overwhelming sadness for him... I saw the inner turmoil he went through and is still going through. He suffered from high anxiety. As it was, after we shared our first kiss, he shivered for a good four minutes (and I don't credit myself being THAT good a kisser lol :) In all seriousness, I realized through both my reading and my "witness" of his behavior, this organization is BAD NEWS.
I visited this board actually through a google search on just how JWs feel about kissing. Didn't find an answer, but found a young man suffering the same plight... he fell for a JW girl and is suffering like I am... Wow, who would've thought there needed to be a JW Lover's Support Group lol
So, I decided to join myself and share and vent with you all as well. I'm relieved to see you all have found out the contradictory nature and have escaped the GB snare. I just wish I could help him to do the same *sigh*
Thanks for reading =) I hope you all are well. I hope to post more regarding other topics soon.
~Katie