Greetings,
I just submitted the following piece to my local newspaper. Haven't had much luck in getting them to publish JW stuff before, but here's hoping!
***************
A Thanksgiving Family Divided
Thanksgiving. An opportunity each year for American families to gather for a delightful visit, share a traditional family meal, and take stock of whatever positive aspects of their lives they should be thankful for. And, although there are inevitably a few family members who drive each other crazy (and therefore should not be stuck together in the same house any more often than once a year), the holiday almost always ends with hugs, handshakes, and a commitment to do it all again in another twelve months.
Sadly, however, families that include members who are Jehovah’s Witnesses do not enjoy this same holiday unity. Last Thanksgiving was a particularly striking example of this for me and my family. But first, a little background information.
You see, I used to be one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, raised from birth to adulthood as an active and devout ‘Witness.’ As you may know, Witnesses do not celebrate any of the common holidays, including Thanksgiving. Well, actually they do, but deny it. Confused? It is a common source of annual amusement, even among many Witnesses, that the vast majority of Witnesses gather with their families annually for the “this isn’t Thanksgiving dinner” Thanksgiving dinner. Consumed in large quantities are the standard items, including ham, turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pies, etc. Apparently, at least to many Witnesses, their God does not view this identical gathering as “Thanksgiving dinner” as long as it is held on the day after everyone else enjoys it.
In my family, we were split about 60-40, non-Witnesses to Witnesses. Some of the non-Witness family members had been raised in the religion but had drifted away decades ago, while some had never been associated with the religion at all. Up until last year, those of us who were Witnesses gladly ‘tolerated’ the presence of these ‘worldly’ relatives because, well, they were family. Kindly, these ‘worldly’ relatives always consented to gathering at one of our local homes on a day during the holiday break other than Thanksgiving day.
Last year my wife and I were officially ‘blacklisted’ by the local congregations of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Of what offense were we guilty? Some scandalous lapse in ethical or moral conduct? Drug abuse? Drunkenness? Infidelity? None of the above. We merely publicly admitted that we no longer believed Jehovah’s Witnesses to be the one and only “True” religion, the only one approved of by God, and thus the only religion whose members will gain Salvation.
This, of course, is one of the major tenets of the Witness dogma. Our denial thereof made us, in the eyes of other Jehovah’s Witnesses, a thing so detestable to them that the word spits from their mouths like venom – Apostates. Direct enemies of their god Jehovah, and therefore so wicked and unclean that Witnesses in “good standing” with the congregations can have no association with us whatsoever, lest they too be “cast off” and shunned. This shunning goes so far as to forbid even a cordial “hello” at Wal-Mart, or, more important to this story, the sharing of a meal.
Now, back to last year. A few moments after my family and I arrived at last year’s meal, my sweet gray-haired grandmother, matriarch of the family and a Witness for decades, got up in a huff and hurriedly left without so much as making eye contact with us. As if this were not enough to cause considerable pain and hurt feelings for the rest of us gathered there, what she did next shocked us all. Through a series of phone calls throughout the rest of the day she and her oldest son proceeded to warn other non-Witness family members about us, virtually demanding that they have no association with us either. With remarks such as ‘You’ve invited Satan the devil into your house,’ and ‘It’s your house, you have the right to make them leave,’ my normally kind grandmother left in the wake of her ‘righteous’ phone frenzy a number of distressed and offended relatives.
Thankfully, common sense prevailed and not one of the non-Witness family members heeded her frantic warnings to shun us. But it did completely ruin what should have been a happy and relaxing day of catching up on each other’s past year, passing around the latest babies in the clan, and just being a family.
So, even though your uncle Gus and cousin Johnny may get on each other’s nerves at your family’s Thanksgiving dinner, at least they show up, eat a hearty meal, and give the rest of the family something to talk about on the way home. Just be thankful that you’re not an ex-Witness in a family of Witnesses at ‘not-Thanksgiving.’
***************
Brandon Bartlett