Did you as a brother, do less to avoid responsibilities?

by truthseeker 22 Replies latest jw friends

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  Sam the Man

  Agree to do things then never do it. Its hilarious how they always give me things to do despite me never doing them.

  Thats another of my favourites!!!!
• 

  dedpoet

  Hello ocelot, and welcome, good to have you here, and you obviously have a sound tactical brain when it come to dealing with jw elders as well!
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  DanTheMan

  I think that the best thing to do is to just put-up for right now. They likely think that the idea of being a MS is appealing to you, and that with just a little bit of encouragement™ you would do the things necessary to qualify. But, if enough time goes by, and you still haven't raised your FS time and you still are missing a fair number of meetings and you still aren't giving comments and you keep changing the conversation when they offer their encouragement, then eventually you'll fall off their radar screen.

  Man, I don't envy your position. It sounds like you're a nice guy that people in your cong like, and therefore it's very tough to get off of the "this brother needs to reach out" list.
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  Dan-O

  Stop shaving. Looking back, I figured out that I wasn't even asked to handle microphones once I had facial hair.
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  willyloman

  
  My heart goes out to you; this is a difficult positon to be in. You don't want to lose your family and loved ones, but you really can't continue walking the walk with this cult.

  It may help you to realize your family is being held hostage by these guys. That calls for careful, deliberate behavior on your part. If your family were literally being held hostage by kidnappers, you'd do your best to follow their instructions closely and appear to cooperate fully, even while the FBI was working with you on a rescue strategy.

  In my opinion, that's the model you should follow... but be sure there IS a rescue and exit strategy in play. I had a lot of fun planning and executing my exit. It gave me hope -- and something positive to focus on.

  Good luck.
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  vitty

  Please dont feel like a hypocrite, they dont deserve your guilt.

  Think about yourself and your family first, just keep reminding yourself that youve been lied to, so YOU are not the guilty one here.

  Just keep doing what your doing, miss meetings, dont comment much keep FS hours low.
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  blondie

  
  truthseeker, my hubbie says just to say no, that YOU don't feel you are ready to handle that responsibility along with your family responsibilities. And don't go into too much detail as they will try to talk you out of it.

  We have seen several ex-elders and ex-MS walk this path. That's what they do, just say no.. Older, ill parents, ill health on the part of wife or children, your ill health. Your family comes first.

  Just say no and don't stick around to discuss it. That's abuse you know if they won't let you walk away.

  Learn to stonewall them.

  Love, Blondie

  Edited to add from hubby, to the elders (smle) say "What part of no don't you understand?"
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  Severus

  I agree with what Blondie says exactly.

  I am in the exact position (MS eligible brother). What keeps me from being asked is my low hours and direct refusal on "general" grounds (personal schedule, busy at work, etc). Thankfully my wife refuses to share my company at the meetings - so I can blame it on her as well.

  For a no-hassle answer just explain you need to put your family's (or personal, if single) spirituality first. Make sure you use the word "spirituality". Tell them you are developing your personal routine of Bible study (they don't have to know it is JWD) and that the recommendations of:

  1. Daily bible reading
  2. Personal/family study
  3. Meditation
  4. Meeting preperation
  5. Et cetera...

  Don't leave time for added responsibility. Use the Society's time-fillers against them.
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  truthseeker

  Thanks guys for the advice, something to think about there. It really is difficult.

  My bookstudy overseer is highly enthusiastic about anything to do with the truth, and he is pestering me to do this, to do that, to stay out till 2pm on Saturdays!!!

  It never ends.

  Funny thing is, if I miss a meeting, or several in a row, nobody phones! Literally, the only time I hear from an elder/MS is when they want my time sheet, and I just make it up then and there.

  Blondie, I think I will just do what you said for the time being.

  RichieRich, not an enviable position to be in - hope you resolve it soon. They see a young upcoming brother in you and will probably keep piling the pressure on you. Have they asked you to be a pioneer or anything when you leave high school?

  Will comment more on other's posts later.

  Thanks again

  Truthseeker
• 

  truthseeker

  Severus

  Tell them you are developing your personal routine of Bible study (they don't have to know it is JWD) and that the recommendations of:

  1. Daily bible reading
  2. Personal/family study
  3. Meditation
  4. Meeting preperation
  5. Et cetera...

  Don't leave time for added responsibility. Use the Society's time-fillers against them.

  I already do this!! It gives the elders a feel-good factor as Brother Truthseeker is finding ways to increase his spirituality. Boy, he must really want to "move ahead with Jehovah's organization"!