by Darth Yhwh 38 Replies latest jw experiences
Darth,
I'm sorry you were treated badly by your mother. That is just wrong how the WTS divides families. I'm not at all surprised about the Elder being there to possibly intervene if your father needed blood, because my husband and I have also been on the receiving end of such special attention.
I'm glad your father is doing well and I hope he continues to improve.
WG
Darth, I feel for you having to endure all this, how intrusive of the elders to just turn up like that. It's another example of how the wt divides rather than unites families.
My father, although not a JW, has always supported my mother in her choice of religion and in her choice to raise us kids as JWs. I have tried to talk to my father regarding religious issues and he really doesn’t seem to have any firm beliefs. He and my mother decided to pursue the bloodless surgical procedure together. Despite my frustration with this decision, they’re both adults and there’s not a lot I can do about it. I decided to support them regardless.
Why Georgia, you hit the nail right on the head. I knew going into this that my dad wouldn’t get any blood in case of an emergency. Even Cody offering support didn’t bother me all that much. What did bother me was the way my mother tossed my sister and me aside for this total stranger.
You know in a way I even felt sorry for Cody. He’s in his 40’s and he talked about how much he loves children and would like to have some. I looked him in the eye and told him that if he wants children that he better get busy because his biological clock is ticking. Everyone chuckled. I told him that if he had kids now that people would think that he was the grandfather at their graduation ceremony. I also told him that he will not be able to enjoy playing with them because he won’t be able to keep up physically with them. I know because I’m speaking from experience. I have a five year old son, a two year old son, and a two year old daughter. I looked somewhat anxious while we were discussing this issue. The other thing I noticed about Cody was his nervous habit of bouncing his legs. He bounced one leg, the other leg, or both legs non stop for six hours. He burned more calories in six hours than I do sometimes for an entire day. LOL I just figured that was a result of all the pressure the WBTS puts on him.
After Cody left I sat next to my mom and told her I wanted to ask her two religious questions. I asked her scripturally where in the bible it tells us that Jesus returned invisibly in 1914, and where in the bible does it tell us that God is using a “Faithful and Discreet Slave” to educate his followers? My mother danced around the questions for a few minutes and then she told me that I was making her feel uncomfortable. Well that statement pushed me over the edge. I said well how do you think we felt all morning long while you were ignoring us. Then she just shut down and started staring off into no where. You know like a teenager being lectured by their parents might do. She wouldn’t even talk to me. After my sister jumped in and agreed that she too shared my feelings my mother stomped off to the woman’s room and left us alone for about an hour. She then came out of the woman’s room, verbally lashed out at my sister, walked right by me with out saying a word or looking at me, and left the waiting room.
Thank you Lady Lee, blondie, Purza, DanTheMan, Hellrider, Why Georgia, and fullofdoubtnow for your support and kind words. I really needed to vent about this issue.
Best wishes for your dad.
Best Wishes for your father Darth, hope he keeps progressing.This is a little off the main point of your post but
how people with military backgrounds make great brothers and sisters because of all those years of training to take orders to obey. “That ability to take orders carries over well into the truth”, the stranger said. Yes, these are their words not mine.
I knew a couple down South who had met in the army in WW2 , they came in to the Borg in the early fifties and were faithful ever since . She used to tell me exactly the same thing.. Said it was because they were trained to "Follow Captains orders" , that they fitted so well into the congregation. In fact she was a feisty soul who had ruffled a few feathers in her time but kept within boundaries
Make of it what you will
BluesBrother, this is one of the things that made it so difficult for me. I was sitting there listen to them make comments like that and I couldn't believe what I was hearing. They give total control of their lives to complete straingers and never stop to think for them selves regarding anything.
When I was an active JW I would have never thought anything that was said sounded abnormal. Now that I've been away for so long I cant believe what mindless drones they sound like.
Simply unbelievable!
Then she just shut down and started staring off into no where. You know like a teenager being lectured by their parents might do.
Arghhhh, I recognise this! I think your mother must be very similar to what mine was like. She too did that, she would see no problem in ignoring, even talk shit about her own children (in their presence!) when talking to someone of "higher status" than her in the congregation. Like..."sigh...what am I going to do with these children...a mother can only do what she thinks is best...a mother can only do so much blah blah blah". And then, when cofronted she would (literally) close her eyes while stuttering some explaining away - shit. Weak, weak, stupid, selfrighteous, hypocritical women, pisses me off. I feel sorry for you, dude. On the one hand she`s the only mother you`ve got. On the other hand, she and her JW-disease poses a potential threat to your fathers health. Be alert. If they ever try to pull some no blood-crap (like if he was unconscious and unable to decide for himself), be strong!
Does any one care to venture a guess at what these two brothers do for a living?
Cody is a carpet cleaner and the stranger was a cabinet maker. Doesn't that seem odd?
Darth, I'm sorry for what you went through. You should feel good that you were there for your family regardless of how anyone else acted. At least you always know that you can control what you do. Unfortunately, if your mom is active at the hall, she probably does not have that same kind of freedom. Don't forget how they say over and over at the meetings how loyalty to Jehovah(er, the organization) comes before loyalty to family. That can really mess with a persons head. Deep down I'm sure she knows well that you and your sister are more important than anyone at the hall, but she faces a huge social pressure to act the same as everybody else.
I was intrigued by the military comment, because I have been using that analogy to my parents in another way. They defended the religion by saying that it has changed a lot of people's lives for the better, people who were once drug users or in trouble with the law, etc. I maintain that is only true because of the high control aspect of the religion. Some people cannot or will not use any self control or think for themselves, and those individuals may do better as a jw because there is so much constant contact and pressure to be a certain way. Likewise many straighten their life up by joining the military. It's just a matter of handing over the control of their life to somebody else. It doesn't mean the religion is true, it just means that some people benefit by being told what to do all the time. To me, the religion is like a social military. The pressure to conform does not cause me to live better, it brings unhealthy stress into my life.
Darth, I'm glad that at least the surgery went well. It sounds like that brother was extremely presumptuous to be there. If it ever happens again, I would ask him directly what purpose he is serving and who requested his presence. Put the spotlight on him and make him explain everything he does. Turn it around, so he is the outsider, not you and your sister.
Here is hoping for the best recovery possible for your father.
And your mother sounds just like mine...
