IMHO, (note - if you tell the elders that you don't believe it anymore they won't df you but they will consider that you da'd yourself. No longer wanting to be a witness of Jehovah - da'ing yourself doesn't always go over very well with family).
Fading is different for everyone. It all depends on your home and family situation. The local elder body makeup is also important.
See, if you have a witness spouse or older children or even parents or in-laws that are dubs, then fading can be much more difficult than just slowing you pace bit by bit until you are finally not moving anymore.
Or if you have an elder body that is actually loving and conscientious about their responsibility then you will also have a much harder time fading away without being bothered.
The keys I've found.
Don't engage anyone in a spiritual discussion. You can't win. The only point you can convince them on is that you're spiritually weak or worse. Bite your upper lip.
Sporadically show up at meetings. Don't give anyone any reason to doubt your sincerity to the truth. Smile and act normal. Don't comment (after a while) and cancel on a couple talks (start slow, cancel the first one a couple weeks in advance due to family or whatever responsibilities; cancel the others much closer to the meeting day).
Just stop going out in service on the weekends. Basically there isn't anyone individual that goes out every Sat and Sunday so the chance of them catching on that you're never there (right away) is pretty slim. Turn in time but slowly notch it lower and lower. At 5 hours a month you're considered a low hour publisher and may warrant some unwanted attention. Keep it between 4 and 6 a month for awhile. Eventually you can stop reporting altogether, but no matter how much you've faded you need to realize that as soon as you don't report for a month or two in a row they will smell a rat and come calling. Be sincere and dishonest at the same time. Practice beating a lie detector (hehehe).
When the elders come calling, and they will come calling in most cases. Their approach will differ from body to body. Some will be forthright and put you on the spot. These are the easiest to handle, just be sincere and tell them how stressed out you are (work, family, etc). Tell them how difficult a time you are having making ends meet (even if you're in a nice house, with money, you can still be stressed - everyone's level for handling stress is different and no one can tell you "just stop being stressed"). Agree with them when they say they'd like to see you more at meetings and service and whatever. DO NOT AGREE with them to study with somebody or make pre-planned arrangements to do anything. Just tell them you're too stressed out or depressed to make plans in advance. Tell them you need to take each day as it comes.
After talking to you once or twice at the hall in a generic manner, the elders will try to stop by for a shepherding call. Tell them no. Be pleasant and congenial, but say now is not a good time. I'm sorry, we'll have to do it in a couple months or something, I'll get back to you when it's a good time for me. When they tell you that they're worried about you act like you really appreciate it. Thank them and assure them that you're stress and depression will hopefully get better. Assure them how excited you are for the new system to come and make everything better, forever. That will ease their minds some.
As you show up less and less at the meetings they will slowly forget about you more and more. The tough part is getting through the initial "we want to help you" stage that the elders and some friends will go through.
If you have close relatives or even a mate that's a dub this plan still works. But, you're mate has to either not rat you out or you cannot give any specific information to your mate because they may feel it's their obligation to rat you out to save your life.
Fading requires a certain amount of dishonesty and insincerity. It stinks but it's necessary. The more entrenched you are in the congregation (brother with responsibilities for example) the longer a good fade can take. If you're married with a believing spouse there is some good specific advice on the board already about how to handle that.
