For former elders: Did having the authority to DF make you feel powerful?

by juni 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    There are several ex-elders here who have apologized profusely about their role in JC.

  • fleaman uk
    fleaman uk

    dontcha like that stepped down thing?

    Yeah if your "serving"and "lowest in the cong",how come an Elder steps down and is seen as losing a position!

    Confusing isnt it? lol

  • InquiryMan
    InquiryMan

    During a period of more than a decade, I only took part in one JC. I always tried to stay away from it. When I finally did volunteer, I did in a case I felt "comfortable" with. He was DF, but I was naive enough to think that he would return within some months. However, as far as I know, he did not. Perhaps I did make him a service. The shunning thing was one of the main reasons I felt discomfort with being a JW, and an elder in particular. I never felt a power trip from being an elder...

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    Speaking as one who has been recently threatened with a jc, I got the impression that the elder who made the threat rather enjoyed making it. He seemed to imply that it would give them the opportunity to straighten me one way or the other. I am however thinking of saving them the trouble of forming one, and I wouldn't attend it anyway. They may think otherwise, but they have no authority over me at all.

  • juni
    juni

    THANKS TO ALL OF YOU FOR YOUR COMMENTS. JUNI

  • undercover
    undercover
    #1 little man thought he was in charge of "everything". #2 was he was a tyrant. #3 the other elders were afraid of him. #4 everyone was afraid of the CO AND DO. #5 they were tyrants also. #6 common sense was not allowed. #7 a "FEW' elders were ok but shouted down by little man and his clowns, #8 some elders didn't want justice, they wanted to wield power.

    That sounds like every congregation that I was a part of, except little man was sometimes fat man, old man or delusional man.

  • Berean
    Berean

    I never felt powerfull, only sadness. Usually the person did something against Bible principles. To me that is sad. Disfellowshiping wasn't something that I personally agreed with, however, to be a "Jehovahs' Witness" you needed to follow their rules - man made or Bible based. I never personally was involved in a disfellowshipping over the "man-made-rules". The only disfellowshippings that I was in on, the person was unfaithful to their marriage partener, wouldn't stop having sex outside of marriage, etc. All against moral principles of the majority of religions. I did know about people being disfellowshipped for what I consider to be man-made-rules, and openly condemmed it. I was considered a renegade for my thoughts and falsely accused. The coverup of slander and false accusations led to my exit. Berean (out and happier than ever)

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    Some Elders loved it, usually being the ones who were nothing in the real world. You could see them get visibly excited at the prospect.

    Personally, though I was never particularly a somebody, I still didn't like it. The attitude of some others genuinely made me feel sick. It was like observing a witch-hunt.

    I loved playing devils advocate and had picked up a few tips on compassion from my Dad, who became an Elder as soon as the arrangement came in in the early 70's. I overturned a couple of "investigations" so that they never amounted to a Judicial Committee. I knew the procedures inside out, at that time.

    I never forgot my dad's advice, upon my becoming an Elder, anout judging repentance at JCs. He said "if you give them the benefit of the doubt, if they are truly unrepentant they will just offend again and you can sort it out then".

    A good man, whom I love to bits - sadly still enslaved

    I also succeeded in never DFing anyone, thank gawd! I'm glad I don't have that on my conscience.

  • theinfamousone
    theinfamousone

    i know my dad loved it, but he was a sadistic bastard!!!

    the infamous one

  • XBEHERE
    XBEHERE


    I have sat on many JC's and I am lucky that I never had to DF anyone. Once I was pressured to by other elders but fortunately the other 2 that were on the commitee with me agreed with me. After the decision was made to publicly reprove I was pulled aside by 2 elders in particular who said the same thing to me that I will never forget: "all I can say is that you were VERY merciful with that commitee" the one bro actually went and cried to the stupid CO who then sat and talked to us about how to determine godly repentance and "corrected" us. Idiots! It was as if they wanted the poor person to be DF. Very un-christlike and hateful. And no it didnt make me feel powerful, just sad that they had to happen in the first place.

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