Just got Home/Elder Dad just realized I'm Apostate

by MrMoe 37 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Francois

  If you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth.

  As previously noted, cultic religions are an emotional phenomena. And the intelligence quotient of emotionalism is zero. Logic, reason, reasonableness, truth, compassion - none of these are in the lexicon of a cult. So when emotional people act emotional, why be surprised?

  There's not much you can do about or with your parents IMO. In order for them to acknowledge the truth of what you're saying to them, they also have to acknowledge that the pursuit of a lifetime, along with the hope it represents to them, has all been a lie. And at this point late in life, they most likely aren't going to want to have to acknowledge there's no hope - at least not the one they've put all their faith in.

  And since self preservation is the most powerful drive, I doubt that even as high as you stand in their regard, it's not as high as their desire to cheat death.

  My own parents are in their 80s. They've read Ray's "CofC" They've read that other one by the Swedish guy (I disremember the details), the one that proves earthquakes and such are getting more rare, not more frequent. They've seen and recognize the lies, the hypocrisy, the craze for money, the pedophilia, the bullshit. They're not going to change. The JWs supply their social support. Their self-image. Their only hope to escape death. They are unable to let it go. And so they live a life that in reality is more dedicated to avoidance of cognitive dissonance than a search for truth. And you are apparently the source of the dissonance, rubbing their nose in the truth. That HAVE TO avoid the truth. I gave up. Sad, but true.

  Francois
  I know a woman who STILL believes that Jim Bakker was brought down by satan's agents. Still sends money. She also believes that if the entire world was drinking a glass of Shaklee's Powdered Wombat in milk every morning that the whole world would be happy, healthy and war would be no more. She also sells Amway. And some other Ponzi stuff. It's a personality deficit.

  NOTE TO GOVERNING BODY: You've been challenged to a debate, boys. Dont you have ANY balls?
• 

  MrMoe

  Thank you so much again for the words of encouragement. I will go by the advice on how to avoid thier calls at my door, I really do not want to be dissasociated.

  I was raised as a JW since I was 4, being on assembly programs, convention programs, aux. pioneer, so my realization is not coming from a weak minded person but by my study of the bible. I look back with regretthat I was denied the college education I always wanted and could have had with ease or the fun I missed as a child being ripped out of school to do home schooling and growing up in a congregation with no kids my age other than ones my parents said were not good enough to hang out with.

  And through all of the betrayal and tears -- I feel, I am happy, I am finally free and God does love me, even if I am human.
• 

  bboyneko

  Mr moe Im touched, did this site have a big part in waking you up? If it did that's great. I went thru hell (Hades, Sheol, Gehenna) when i told my parents. They read some of the literature I had collected off the net and they agreed there were good points made, just as your dad did, but also like your dad, they said 'they are just human' And as has been said many times, if they are just human, why is it wrong to question them??

  I was kicked out (I was 18) and I lived in my car for a while, eventually a JW friend (true friend, he stayed my friend when noone else would) let me live with him till i got back on my feet. I went to college for 2 years and now I live in a nice apartment with my norweigan girlfriend (there are alot of norweigans up in dis board)

  Im amazed you did it in 2 weeks, took me about a year of apostate reading to wake me up. Even when confronted with the fact the society was an italian sandwich meat, I was like 'Theres no other religion quite as true' or 'Its still the best moral way to live'

  Welcome aboard, i hope things go well for you. I agree that your dad was purple because he also had many doubts and did feel guilty about condemning a repentant brother

  -Dan who is about to slide down the apostate pole behind the secret trap door that leads to the apostate cave where he will mount the apostate-mobile with his sidekick, apostate boy to fight cults the world over
• 

  Stephanus

  Bboyneko, your own response was just what I was going to suggest to Mr Moe: first get accommodation organised, then get your long term future sorted - job, college education etc.

  I don't like your chances, Mr Moe. An elder has a lot of image to uphold and from the sound of things, good relationships with the powers that be will probably be more expedient than good relationship with a "rebellious" child. Some people respond well to a total severance from their old life of slavery - that it took you so little time to make up your mind that you've been living a lie is impressive. If you approach all your life decisions with such boldness, confidence and decisiveness, then the worst of your probs is probably over...
• 

  d0rkyd00d

  I don't want to be hostile, or rude in any way, but i'm just curious as to why you are afraid of the elders mrmoe. Remember, they are ONLY people, not the hand of God. They have no authority over you, and don't control you. They are nothings, just like the rest of us on this planet. Only one mind in all the rest of the mix, although a very deceived mind at that. Just wondering WHY you fear these people. They are nothing to be afraid of. They are nothing. (Of course, i understand your father is a different story.)

  "No cool quote yet. but i'll think of one soon."
• 

  Simon

  I think the hardest part is when you have to disagree with your parent(s) about whether it's the truth or not. Hope all goes well - hang in there!
• 

  Prisca

  Hi MrMoe,

  I tried posting a reply to you earlier, but the board bugs ate it up!

  I just wanted to say that you are not alone, and I for one can relate to what you are going through. I was raised a JW, a 3rd gen, father an elder, the whole stuff.

  I was kicked out of home, not because of the JW stuff, but I have had to make my own way in life. It's tough, but you will appreciate the freedom to live your own life as you decide.

  I'm sorry that your dad was so angry, but it's probably all his worst nightmares hitting home at once. I hope he will calm down a little.

  Hang in there, and feel free to share your thoughts and feelings on this DB. You will get the support you need.
• 

  Pathofthorns

  Welcome MrMoe.

  Tina's advice is really good. You need to slow it down a bit and get everything in order so that YOU are in control of the situation and not them.

  It sounds like your father is the type that after hearing that, will try to force you to "reconsider" or else he will make every effort to disfellowship you. It sounds like he is able to bend the rules to make that possible too.

  You need to buy yourself more time. Think about what Tina said. You don't owe anyone an explanation for simply ceasing your involvement in the religion. You are NOT obligated to meet with any of them, no matter what they may say. Just take some time, don't talk, don't explain.

  Assure them you just have some "concerns" that you are working through, and that you will be just fine. Tell them if they must contact you, to put whatever they need to say IN WRITING.

  Path
• 

  willy_think

  Mrmoe,
  it might not be a bad idea to tape any meetings. your dad said 1975 was a prophacy and was false. this can get him DF too. thay will meet you to get leverage over you. you can get your own leverage.

  the ideas and opinions expressed in this post do not necessiarly represent those of the WTB&TS inc. or any of it's subsidiary corporations.
• 

  mommy

  Hey Mr Moe
  Wow, I feel for you, recently I was labeled an apostate as well. It seems no matter how old we are, our parents know what buttons to push to bring us to tears. I am proud of you for standing up to them, but I hope the subject can be breached again. I am afraid, my one and only chance with my mom has already passed. I am happy with the conversation, but there is so much more I want to share.

  Isn't it funny how they do not even realize they speak out both sides of their mouth? On one hand they say that the FDS must be listened to as god's only channel on earth, and on another they say that they are only human. I am afraid they will have to pick one, and not have it both ways. Look how many lives have been changed or even lost because of the "direction" of the spirit that week. If people are changing their lifestyle they should at least have a concrete basis for doing so.

  I feel for you, and understand what emotions are running through you now. Thank you for sharing, and please keep us posted.
  wendy

  In a controversy the instant we feel anger, we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves.