Scales falling from my eyes. (very long!) (page 2)

Carmel

Welcome Poppy! Just two thoughts....one, you have no other friends for obvious reasons. It's easy to make new friends outside the high control for the JWs, you just need to protect your psychie from the guilt and fear induced by friends and family within. Second, to whom one can/should "go" you need not answer that question at this time. You don't need a river to swim in just to extricate yourself from bathing in the sewer! I assure you, if you are sincere and patient, you will find satifying answers and alternatives to JW social, political, spiritual and religious structures. They are out there, and frankly, I believe they will be easily found if you do a little searching.

I wish you well.

Carmel

Lady Lee

Welcome Poppy

You are in the right place. You can get suppport and validation.

Slowly you can get rid of the WTS-inspired guilt and fear and extricate your mind. It won't be easy by any means especially since you have so much family who are JWs.

But there is almost always someone around here to "talk" to. And since so many of us have been through the same thing we will understand.

skinnyboy

(((((((((((poppy)))))))))))))

welcome to your new life, and girlfriend its hard and monumental at first but trust me, it gets better, but you have to create a whole new world for yourself and you have our support here I am sure of that. Every journey begins with that first step, and however long that journey is each step is closer to the final destination than the last.

Chin up mate, and remember we have all been there, and are there with you when you need it, no judgements, no brainwashing, just a hand on your shoulder keeping you true.

Mark

Bryan

Welcome Poppy!

Sorry to hear of you position.

Just keep studying and get as much info as you can. This will help you get by the guilt quicker perhaps. The truth always sets you free!

Take care,

Bryan

Have You Seen My Mother

greendawn

Poppy you are one of tens of thousands of JWs that each year, correctly feel there is a lot more to this religion than meets the eye a lot of disagreeable truths about the truth, the spiritual dictatorship and emotional terrorism perpetrated by a corrupt leadership on their naive but well meaning followers to keep them enslaved to this colossal multibillion, multinational corporation mascarading as the only true religion on earth.

The mouth speaks from the excess of the heart.

bythesea

Welcome, Poppy! Hugs!!! Its IS a scarey place, where you are right now...I'm just in the moving-out-of-it phase myself, so I can totally relate to where you're at. Many have suggested doing research and reading...I second that thought! Educating yourself on the history of the Org., many of its doctrines, doing some independent thinking for yourself...all of this will help you to clarify in your mind the steps you need to be taking. I also have tons of family who are JW, including my husband and 2 adult children, and I fear everyday of losing them because of wanting to be true to my own conscience. Its a hard place to be...but you've found this Board and it will help you...and WE all want to help you through this rough time too. Hang in there!

If you haven't yet, I suggest reading Ray Franz' 2 books....the second one helped me see that I didn't NEED to feel I had to have another org. to belong to in order to please God, or have a relationship with him or his Son...its a very comforting book, I read back through it regularly! Keep us posted, Poppy.... (((((hugs to you))))) bythesea

DanTheMan

Things that bothered me... why when I wore trousers to the meeting was I told I needed to adjust my attitude?

Straining out the gnat, isn't it?

But I feel so damn guilty! And I have NOBODY who I can talk to without being labelled an apostate!

You're in the right place.

Sheepish

I found it very comforting to pray to Jehovah to illuminate the truth to me as I considered outside info. He is true to his word you can trust him. You will learn he does not belong to the Watchtower Society!

There are people praying for you! Han in there!

Mysterious

Sounds like you have some good questions and some good soul searching. Im convinced very few people actually LIKE preaching, they just convince themselves that they like it because they are told they should like it.

It was a big relief to me when I realized that I was doing *nothing* wrong when I talked about my experiences in the witnesses with people. I have never lied about it, I have never embellished. If it paints them in a bad light then they are the ones who have done that to themselves, all I have done is lived a decent life as an honest person!

The question I ended up asking myself when I left was not "who is right" but "are they wrong?". As soon as I ascertained that they in fact were wrong I realized I wanted no part of that. As a few posters here have said before -- I'd rather have questions I cant answer, than answers I cant question. Many of us have undergone our own journies of growth and exploration since leaving the witnesses, I dont think it is necessary to have somewhere to go in order to break free. I also found it important to avoid an out of the frying pan and into the fire scenario.

Non-JWs and ex-JWs are good people, they are not 'bad' like the organization often demonizes them to be. They have been there for me more than my JWs friends ever were when I was in, and certainly even more so when I quit attending meetings. The guilt you feel is a natural part of breaking free. Have you read some of the articles on www.freeminds.org? It talks about the psychology the witnesses use to control people.

In my belief there is no one true way, and that is a very freeing thought. Welcome to JWD.

Nathan Natas

Hi Poppy,

Welcome!

I can't give you any quick solutions to your problems, but I can understand your dilemma.

May I ask you something? You mentioned how you pioneered for seven years because you we sure the Big A was going to come soon. What years were those? I was raised a Dub since the '50s, and I was there in '68 when the 1975 "misunderstanding" took place. Seems to me you came into the Org in the '80s, right? I'm not asking to be critical, I'm just wondering what the rationale was back in your time. As long as we're on the subject, what's the whispered word about the Big A now? Are people sure it will be here by Halloween 2005 (30 years since 1975) or are there other theories floating about? Is anyone talking about 2034 (1914+120 years for Noah)?

Best wishes to you!

Scales falling from my eyes. (very long!)

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