anyone ever wonder whether IT could be the TRUTH?

by Cordelia 67 Replies latest jw friends

  • Now What?
    Now What?

    ((((Cordelia))))

    Being torn between people you love is tough, many hugs to you.

    But...

    when you were all faced with losing so much did you ever wonder if there was a chance it was the 'truth'

    Honestly? Yes. I went back and forth for a long time, trying to logically weigh it all out. I felt like I was going insane over it. Many a sleepless and teary night were mine.

    how do you know if you are doing the right thing or not?

    Eventually I looked at what I thought I wanted to be 5 years from now, and who I wanted to be with in my life, and what life would probably be like either way. I turned in the direction of my happiness, closed my eyes, and then jumped letting the chips fall where they may. I figured the people that truly loved me more than other things would still be there. The chips are still falling, but I am seeing who really has love for me and who never did.

  • Cordelia
    Cordelia

    Thanks everyone, i guess i just wondered coz its so hard seeing my dad so torn apart he came round today and had written out 3 options i have and i have to tell him by friday, if i say i am seeing this boy and stopping meetings he will have nothing to do with me! basically the only option he thinks i have is to focus on getting reinstated and then he said i can choose to date the boy or stop the meetings! (he just wants me back so bad!)

    the thing is i stuck by wanting the boy but then i spent the afternoon with him and everything he did was wrong, he kept joking to cheer me up so i told him he was insensitive i thought of a thing he loves doing, football and said he had to give it up as i am giving up my family he said he would but later said he wouldnt coz theres no reason he has to and i just went crazy i have treated him so bad and got so upset and wondered why i am giving up my life to be with him! and i dont want to feel this way i know i am in the wrong but im scared now of losing everything and really hurting my family and then resenting him and expecting too much from him!

    as for whether its the truth or not, what scares me there is how much my family are sticking to it even tho it is coming between us so much, they really believe it and say it may have been wrong sometimes but even the apostles got things mixed up, no other religon is giving out Gods name and preaching etc

    i just need all youre help as i do actually have to make the decision now, and tikjmo once told me that theres nothing worse than living two ways and so maybe i will be happier if i make and stick to a decision even if it is the wrong one!

  • MsMcDucket
    MsMcDucket

    One day about 17 years ago, I was having trouble keeping my twin babies quiet. One of the brothers was trying to help me by taking one of my daughters and holding her and trying to comfort her (or so I thought). Anyway, he had taken the baby out of my view out in the atrium, so I went a-looking, as soon as I rounded the corner, I saw him smack my babie's leg! I was in shock. I got mad. Soon after that I wrote my letter of disassociation. I still believed in Jehovah and was afraid to even entertain the thought that the JW's weren't the truth... Now, I got even bigger troubles. It's not the truth! Believe that!

  • jgnat
    jgnat
    but then i spent the afternoon with him and everything he did was wrong, he kept joking to cheer me up so i told him he was insensitive

    This is what men do when they're out of their depth. He can't stand your crying, and patting your back and saying "there, there" gets kind of boring. My hubby doesn't make this mistake as often any more.

  • coffee_black
    coffee_black

    I don't wonder any more. I did 2 years of solid research before leaving. It all boils down to this:

    Truth doesn't change. If it has to change, it wasn't true to begin with....and if it wasn't true to begin with, it didn't come from God.

    Coffee

  • sass_my_frass
    sass_my_frass

    Your Dad wants an immediate answer from you so that he can make up his own mind about you, and that's unfair. Life doesn't work that way, you have to work things out in your own time. He's being selfish by rushing you, and you can't let him control your decision making, and must let him know that he has no right to do that. Yes he is in pain, but that's his problem, and you can't worry about that. You should tell him that you will not accept being rushed by him, and that you have to work things out when you are ready. If in the meantime he decides to cut you off, he needs to understand that he will wear the choices of that decision, as well as you.

    Nothing in life is permanent, even the big questions come up for scrutiny sometimes; your choice of career, life partner, god.... you need to accept that this isn't something that you can decide on this week; it will take many years or ever possibly your whole life, and frankly that's okay. This week though, all you have to decide is whether you want to sacrifice your relationship with your boyfriend so that you can play to your Dad's agenda. My personal opinion is that you should be assertive with your Dad, and tell him that it's not fair for him to hold your decision to ransom, and you will not accept this behaviour.

    It's a bad week for you, I'm so sorry that you're hurting like this. Be strong and be respectful of how much stress this would be causing your boyfriend too. It was a good analogy; the football thing, but not even close as we all know. But do remember that it's not your boyfriend who is saying 'it's me or them', it's the witnesses and your Dad who are saying 'it's us or him'. If I were you I'd be wondering whether an organisation that is insecure enough to hold our relationships with our family and friends to ransom in order to retain our faith or some semblance of it, is guided by a loving god.

  • Darth Yhwh
    Darth Yhwh

    Cordelia, I wondered all the time about whether JW's had the truth or not while I was still a very young JW. After being out now for more than a decade there is no question in my mind that the WBTS is a manipulative, controlling, deceitful, publishing company that has enslaved a work force for it's own monitary gain.

  • Cygnus
    Cygnus

    Once I learned that the WTS were consistent liars, and then that the Bible writers would also lie or simply make things sound true that weren't, I never looked back. That approach doesn't work for everybody and I never judge, but I'm positive there's no way JWs have any semblance of truth, and it is a wicked organization to flee from as quickly as possible.

  • sass_my_frass
    sass_my_frass

    I had to destroy a relationship with a man I loved to learn that it wasn't the truth, and to let go of the control that the organisation and my family had over my thoughts and choices. If that control extends into your relationship with your boyfriend, it will destroy it. What you need to decide this week is whether you are going to let your family and the organisations' pressure destroy your relationship. When you're thinking about that remember that your boyfriend is under a great deal of pressure and it would be changing his behaviour and therefore your opinion of him, but he's still around.

    If you two can get through this, you can get through anything.

  • g_cuddles
    g_cuddles

    what religion do you practice scince you've left the JW's

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