Just to say hi

by fullofdoubtnow 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • fullofdoubtnow

    Hi, I am a friend of dedpoet, I think he may have posted about me occasionally, and he has kindly allowed me to join the forum from his pc as I do not have internet access at home.

    I have known Trev (dedpoet) since he first joined the same congregation as me 14 years ago, and we have always been friends. I was very sad when he left us some years ago, but have maintained contact with him, something that has got me in trouble with the elders just lately now he is disassociated. I have personally never been comfortable with the idea of shunning, although I have joined in with it in the past, but with Trev I just can't do that, he has been and still is just too good a friend.

    I have been a witness over half my life, and until recently never had any real doubt that I had the truth, but now I am very unsure and am currently not attending meetings or taking part in the ministry. I have looked at several sites on the net, and have read some of the posts on this forum (you seem remarkably well informed about us!), and I must confess that some of the stuff I have read has shaken my faith severely, to the extent that I am no longer sure that I have the truth at all. I am seriously beginning to wonder if the last 23 years has been a waste of time.

    I haven't completely abandoned the congregation yet, but haven't been to a meeting for a couple of weeks, and I have to say that I haven't missed going as much as I thought I would, and at the moment I don't feel any real inclination to return. My family are not witnesses, so no problem there, but most of my friends, apart from Trev, are. I suppose everyone who drifts away encounters the same problem, I know Trev did, but he seems to have overcome it and is happier now than he ever was in the truth.

    I really don't know yet what I am going to do in the future. I have spent so long as a witness it's very hard to imagine not being one, but I have so many doubts now about what I have been doing all these years that if I do return I just know that I may never feel the same about the truth again. Right now, if I do leave I wonder how I would put up with the inevitable shunning, although Trev says he got used to it after a while, and it doesn't worry him at all now.

    Whatever I do, I am glad to have been able to post on this forum, and to have read so many of the posts on here. Sorry about the length of this, but I just needed to write down some of the feelings I am having now.

    love, Linda

  • Sam the Man
    Sam the Man

    I didnt read it, but I wanted to say hi, now I will read it!


  • xjwms

    Hello and welcome

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    WELCOME to the forum.

    The shunning thing gets easier after a while, especially once you realize how sad but controlling it all is.

    The past is never a waste. We learn and grow from all our experiences. And believe me growing from this is a real learning experience

    When I left I had 1 person (non-JW) to support me. Its a start. You have Trev.

    Meanwhile keep reading because as you have noticed we really do know more about the JWs and their history than the average JW

  • LittleToe

    Hi Linda,

    I was raised as a Witness and finally saw the light about four years ago, as an Elder.

    I lived in Kimberley up until 1991, so I was in Derbyshire #1 circuit, before moving home to Scotland where I now live.

    It's a life-shaking event, to find that you've been duped. We empathise with you. Good luck on the journey!


  • Crumpet

    Hi Lindap>Welcome to the board. Of course we're well informed - the majority of us have lived the JW life for as long as you or longer, so I guess we can speak with some authority and experience. I hope you find some answers here and am glad you were one of those who found shunning a wrong and unloving thing to do.

    Look forward to hearing more from you.


  • tall penguin
    tall penguin

    Welcome fullofdoubtnow! So nice to have you here. What you're feeling is understandable. The uncertainty of life after jw's is sometimes overwhelming. I disassociated in August and am adjusting to my new life. Some days it's not easy as there are feelings of anger, grief and betrayal that surge through my body, knowing I've given up so much time and energy to an organization that didn't have my best interests at heart. Yet, my life is happier now that it ever was. I have the hope of a life that is mine to live. A life that is full of possibility. And that, my friend, is worth any current angst I feel.
    Please keep writing here. This is a great forum. Lots of sincere support. We're listening.
    tall penguin

  • Sad emo
    Sad emo

    Welcome to the board Linda.

    Don't be afraid to explore or to ask questions.

  • Legolas

    ((((Welcome to the board))))

  • fullofdoubtnow

    I just want to thank you all so much for your kind welcome. I have to go now to work, but I will be calling on Trev again a bit later I hope. He is being such a good friend, maybe the only one I'll have soon. I am so glad he got me to register here, I can sense from your replies and other posts I have read that there is true support available here from genuine people. Thankyou so much.

    See you soon

    love Linda

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