Hi Rachael. Take it from a guy who's been disfellowshipped for over 10 years who was raised in the truth and served as an elder many years who decided to leave. All the shunning in the world did nothing for me as far as driving me back to the Organisation. In fact....it backfired. It made it worse.
I asked my wife onetime what was the purpose of continuing to shun someone after 10 years when a person cannot in good conscience be a witness any longer. I wanted to know the benifit of it all. Shunning was for the purpose of dicipline to the erring one to want his family and friends back and to keep the congregation clean........but many who leave are as clean as witnesses and have come to a point in which shunning has lost it's effect as far as the individual wanting to return.
Your narking did no good except hurt a mother and made a friendship much more distant. Sad.
Gumby