Current Bethel Requirements?

by caligirl 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • sir82
    sir82

    Requirements for Bethel, 2005:

    Applicant must meet all requirements in either (A) or (B) below.

    (A) Male, baptized for numerous years, pioneer 1+ years, a glowing report from local body of elders, never met with judicial committee, virgin, never seen R-rated movie, studies for every meeting, comments at every meeting, never masturbates, in fact never touches willie unnecessarily, reads only Society-approved literature, drives 4-door car, works with regional building committee, carries microphones flawlessly, discusses spiritual topics only, avoids internet like the plague.

    (B) Penis + pulse + law degree.

  • Breakfast at Cranberrys
    Breakfast at Cranberrys
    (A) Male, baptized for numerous years, pioneer 1+ years, a glowing report from local body of elders, never met with judicial committee, virgin, never seen R-rated movie, studies for every meeting, comments at every meeting, never masturbates, in fact never touches willie unnecessarily, reads only Society-approved literature, drives 4-door car, works with regional building committee, carries microphones flawlessly, discusses spiritual topics only, avoids internet like the plague.

    He, he. Sure, you could ACTUALLY be this perfect WT drone. Or you could just APPEAR that way. It's always about appearances with them, especially at the "world headquarters."

    In all seriousness, even a decade ago when I first went to Bethel (Gawd, was it really that long ago? Oh, the wasted time.) it was getting tougher to find perfect saints to go to bethel. If you answered at meetings and pioneered, even for just a few months, that was enough to satisfy my elders and get me a recommendation. I can't imagine it's that tough today.

    If he's accepted, maybe this is the best way for the blinders to be removed.

    That's what happened for me and plenty of others. No 'angels in the hallways.' Damn. You know I bought all that stuff when I first went to bethel? What an idiot. It was a great way to wake up, but unlike some who naturally think for themselves, it took me years. Of course, there were plenty of weirdo lifers who - screw the blinders - were just plain blind.

    But if the kid ends up at bethel, that's not the end of the world. Its a free backstage pass to this nutty religion. In truth, when I went to bethel, I had several friends back home who got married at 19, had kids, raised a family in the troof. Good for them, right? Maybe, maybe not. When I finally woke up after 6 years at bethel (I told you I'm slow), I came home I found many of my friends had the same doubts I did. But it's tougher to extricate yourself when you have a perfect little witness family and you're an up-and-comer with more and more responsibilities in the congregation. I'm sure they'll get out eventually, maybe they have. But it's tough.

    So maybe bethel ain't all bad. Just mostly. ;-)

  • caligirl
    caligirl

    (A) Male, baptized for numerous years, pioneer 1+ years, a glowing report from local body of elders, never met with judicial committee, virgin, never seen R-rated movie, studies for every meeting, comments at every meeting, never masturbates, in fact never touches willie unnecessarily, reads only Society-approved literature, drives 4-door car, works with regional building committee, carries microphones flawlessly, discusses spiritual topics only, avoids internet like the plague.

    Well, he does handle mikes, reads at the bookstudy, by the time he is old enough will have pioneered more than 1 year, and will get that glowing report without a doubt. As for the rest of it, good thing that it is not officially on any entrance exam because he would FAIL FAIL FAIL.

    Ant truly, if this wakes him up and prevents him from getting married fresh out of high school and having kids by the time he is 20, well it might actually be an ok thing!

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