Hello everyone,
I'm in need of some assistance, and I am hoping you might be able to help out with some suggestions. A little while ago in my diary thread, I mentioned that there might be some hope with helping my sister wake up. Things have just got real interesting.
Here is some background:
My sister and my brother in law have been married for just over ten years and from around two years after they got married have had issues. They have had on and off issues for a while, and recently things came to a head. After years of putting up with what equates to emotional abuse from my brother in law, she spoke up and said that she was not happy and that things had to change. My brother in law flipped things around and said she was the one emotionally abusing him. As a result of this, they asked the elders for help. The brothers spoke with them at length and offered them the usual “well if you read the bible and apply what you learn, things like this don’t happen”. Things were again left unresolved and were minimised by the elders. My brother in law continued to serve as a MS and both of them as regular pioneers. I have heard many similar stories like theirs over the years.
The problems have of course continued. My sister freely admits to being far from blameless in the situation, but I also know that she is not a drama queen and not prone to making stuff up.
She emailed me a few weeks back and said she wanted to talk to me about some ‘elder stuff’. We got on Chat and off we went. She explained that they had been back to the elders. My brother in law was allowed to speak to them alone, but he had to be in the room when my sister spoke to them (!!!???). They told her that there must be something else going on because they have been given all the advice available, and if they had been applying it there would be no issue (!!!). They were now questioning whether my brother in law should stay as a MS and if both of them could stay on as pioneers. They were going to speak with the CO as he was due for a visit.
I said to her that she needs to remember that she is dealing with an old boys club, and to not expect anything favourable from any of them with regards to her. I explained a few things about how it works on ‘the inside’ as an elder and she was most grateful as what I said connected a few dots that she had been wondering about. She said it all seems so unfair and that no-one seems to be listening to her.
She went out with the CO during his visit and he was asking her all sorts of questions. She said she didn’t feel comfortable talking about it because they were going door to door. The elders obviously talked about things with the CO as the following week they got called to another meeting with two elders. The brothers advised them that they were sending a recommendation to the WTS that they should keep their privileges. It was up to the WTS to make the call. If nothing comes back, they stay as they are. If a letter came back it would have a negative decision in it.
My sisters reaction was “I just don’t get it. I don’t know how he can stay as a MS. But what would I know?” She then said “There is other stuff going on that I just can’t understand. Its making me feel raped in a whole new way. I just want to tell everyone to get stuffed!”
This of course got raised my interest as this is the first time I have ever heard her talk like this. In my reply I reiterated the unfairness of it all. How there is a lot of things that go on that aren’t based on scriptures – like qualifications for pioneers. I asked when they said that they were going to review their qualifications to see if they could remain as pioneers, on what scripture containing qualifications for pioneering were they basing the review? I said having seen the organisation from the inside as an elder, it made me see a whole new side of things, a side that most are unaware of. I gave some examples of the unscriptural things that have been set up as rules – no sisters involved in binding the elders book, no beards, and no electronic devices on stage.
I emphasised that things just didn’t make sense to me. Surely there are more important things to worry about than whether or not a brother has beard? I didn’t lay it on heavy, just posed things as questions as though they don’t make sense (because they don’t).
She has replied and said that they have still not heard anything back and that she is finding it hard to cope. She is just trying to focus on her ministry and her bible students. She understands first hand the hurt, confusion and frustration. She then says:
“Can I ask if you don’t mind, and don’t feel you have to answer me, do you think that Jehovahs Witnesses have the truth?”
Dun dun dunnnnnn.
I don’t believe that she is asking from an accusatory angle, but is motivated by some doubts she may be harbouring as a result of being shat on for years. She followed this question up with “Right now I am just trying to remind myself that it is not possible to have a perfect organisation. There are going to be wrong decisions, and surely Jehovah must look down and say “That’s not what I want!” His servants are in pain, and when this comes from the congregation, he must cringe.
So. What do you think? I have formulated what I think is a careful reply which I will post later for your review and suggestions. The reply does not say anything directly and I have designed to be more of a rant / vent than a direct takedown of the organisation.
I don’t think she is all the way there yet, but I think she is at a key crossroads.
I would love to hear your thoughts on the story so far, and any ideas you think I should provide in my reply. I have prepared a reply, and will post it up in a moment.
Many thanks to Listener for the idea of putting this in it's own thread.
Thanks in advance.
WS