My JW wife did not shun her DF'ed sister

by OnTheWayOut 16 Replies latest members private

• 

  OnTheWayOut

  Mrs. OTWO and I visited her family recently. Mrs. OTWO's sister is DF'ed for over 13 years now.
  During the entire time, Mrs. OTWO has honored the WTS's rule to shun her sister, but has only
  talked to her to arrange for her child to visit us. To be fair, I have not gone out of my way to talk
  to her sister during that time, but I was less insistant on avoiding her at all times.

  Anyway, we were visiting Mrs. OTWO's family. Her sister was out of town with her aunt and
  cousins. The aunt is JW. They were all visiting the aunt's daughter (my wife's first cousin) who
  had just had a baby. The one who just had a baby was DF'ed awhile back.

  So I say to Mrs. OTWO- "Your entire family except you does not shun your sister, correct?"

  Mrs. OTWO: "Well, my family are not baptized Witnesses.."

  OTWO: "Your aunt is a JW."

  Mrs. OTWO: "Yes, she watches my sister's child regularly."
  
  OTWO: "She is traveling with your sister right now. So she isn't shunning her. Your aunt is
  also not shunning her own DF'ed daughter."
  
  Mrs. OTWO: "She is visiting to see the new baby."

  OTWO: "You can try to make all the excuses you want, but your entire family is not shunning
  your sister or your cousin. They are being normal humans showing kindness to them."

  Anyway, this all sank in to Mrs. OTWO's mind. Her aunt and her sister got back into town while
  we were still visiting. I immediately showed some boldness and spoke to Mrs. OTWO's sister as if
  she was a normal accepted part of the family. Mrs. OTWO followed suit and did the same. She
  spoke to her sister. It gets even better. Mrs. OTWO's sister was served food and Mrs. OTWO sat
  next to her. I was totally surprised. She's been shunning her sister for 13 years, and is now sitting
  down at a table next to her.

  I asked Mrs. OTWO if she wanted a plate of food. She made some excuse about waiting until later.
  I could tell that it was an excuse to avoid actually eating "with" her sister. I understood, but this was
  still a remarkable day to me.

  Mrs. OTWO's sister seemed at first to try to honor the JW shunning and didn't try to have conversation
  with me or her sister. But after a bit of time, it was obvious that she enjoyed talking with her sister.
  I don't expect her to start regular correspondence. She will probably feel bad about it, but I think
  Mrs. OTWO will talk to her sister again. She got her cell phone number- to arrange for visiting with
  the child, but maybe for more.

  Anyway, this was great news to me, I thought I would share it.
• 

  neverendingjourney

  Congratulations! It's small steps like this that eventually lead a person to free themselves from the JW mind control. I have a feeling your wife will see the light sooner rather than later. It sounds like she's a smart lady.
• 

  Highlander

  Thanks for sharing OTWO,

  I'm happy to see that progress is being made.
• 

  why???

  Thats great! Hope she opens her mind and talks to her sister. Who knows what it can lead to right ;-)
• 

  Dismembered

  Thanks for sharing that OTWO. It still amazes me to this day the power of that screwball DF'd teaching that break up so many familes. Mine included.

  Dismembered
• 

  JWdaughter

  Good for your family!! In this instance, you acted as a fine head of household and set a FINE example:)
  
  Anyone else find it weird that the JW thinking justifies having sex with and being supported by a opposing or even apostate husband-yet eating with a sister is frowned upon? Is there any biblical dispensation for married people eating with apostates?
  
  I am not supporting the shunning in any way. I think its all mucked up!
• 

  MissingLink

  Great news. A step in the right direction. Good for you.
• 

  AK - Jeff

  Could it be that she see that you have not turned into a raving lunatic, are reasonable and kind, in spite of leaving the religion - making the correlation that perhaps the idea of hating everyone who leaves might not be the best idea. Your reasoning was right on. Good work.

  I don't see it happening perhaps in 2008, but not long after, I expect Mrs OTWO to join us here.

  Jeff
• 

  freedomfighter

  Good onya mate!

  The DF rule is ridiculous and unchristian. When a JW gets DF'd they stop being human?

  All the best to you OTWO.

  FF
• 

  carla

  What was the sister df'd for?

  This thread has bothered me all morning and I have started to respond a number of times. On one hand it is wonderful that her cold brainwashed heart and mind are melting a bit. On the other hand I want to just slap her upside the head and ask her what the hell is the matter with her?! Maybe I have read too many stories of those who suffer at that hands of the shunners.

  The sad thing is that I know my jw would react the same way as yours. I am forever thankful that we have no jw family members! We just have normal run of the mill weirdos who are capable of causing family rifts that eventually blow over in a short time and are then forgotten. Sadder yet is that we have to pat people on the back and tell them how wonderful they are being for acting like normal civil human beings (that includes a family member of mine who is a bit off, non jw related).