The messages are always there

by purplesofa 20 Replies latest members private

• 

  purplesofa

  I had no idea how much of the teachings, the talks over the years, my thinking is infiltrated in my very being.

  Yesterday I was driving and this came to mind, about the one isolating themself seeks their own selfish longing, or something like that.

  Why did that come to mind? I don't really know. Why do I think about the constant bombardment of messages, drilled in my head over so many years, when I want so much to forget and dismiss them?

  As a child we get messages from our parents that we are smart, pretty, independent, etc etc.....ugly, stupid....etc etc.

  It took me years to overcome abuse from my childhood and from a marriage that was abusive as well.

  I fear I will run out of time to figure out all that I want to and clear out negative, untrue messages.

  Does anyone feel this way or am I one step away from insanity and long long hours of couchtime?

  purps
• 

  zagor

  No I think you would be surprised by how many people have such flashbacks in their minds it is just that some are more skillful than other on putting "makeup" that leaves impression how everything is "just fine" It takes years to completely forget bad things. Some of that will possibly stay there a lifetime but what I found more powerful is focusing my mind on positive things and negative in time fade away as if they were never there. But some of that may still stick around particularly if it was imprinted in our minds when we were still in our formative stage.

  And I highly doubt you'll run out of time any time soon you still got at least a half a life ahead of you :)
• 

  purplesofa

  I guess I am really anxious to speed up the process!
• 

  purplesofa

  I think.......some days its getting harder to know what messages to throw away and what to keep.

  I think that is whats going on now. Some messages are obvious they are negative, abusive...just plain wrong.

  But not all of them.......Its at the point now where its fine tuning the old hard drive, so to speak.

  purps
• 

  tim hooper

  I think a lot of us stay loyal to the defence/over-compensation mechanisms that we found successful when we were young and, yes, isolationism must be one of the most selfish habits to try and break.

  No, purps, you're far from insane, but I can heartily recommend some serious couch-time.

  tim
• 

  crazyblondeb

  Purps-

  I know I still have those old "tapes" playing in my head!! And it sucks!!! I had a couselor once tell me to "hit the stop button in your mind, and see yourself taking the tape out and destroying it". Don't know if that makes much sense!! I kinda does for me.

  Besides, I know you!! The only couch time I see you needing is on YOUR purple sofa!!

  Love ya gal!

  shell
• 

  BFD

  Hi Purps!

  I have avoided the "couch" for a long time now. My memory tends to be very selective. I know it's a defense mechanism. Some things are too painful to remember and sometimes I think denial is my best friend. Probably not the healthiest way to live but I am still learnig.

  Love to you,

  BFD
• 

  ariana

  Just curious to know what made all of you know for the first time that they were wrong about everything
• 

  fullofdoubtnow

  Hi Purps

  Why do I think about the constant bombardment of messages, drilled in my head over so many years, when I want so much to forget and dismiss them?

  I think it's because it was a constant bombardment, or indoctrination, the same stuff repeated over and over again, that makes it so hard to forget. I have flashbacks as well, and much as I hate that happening, I probably will do for years to come.
• 

  WT=watchtrouble

  Hi Purps,

  I am only new so this may have already been posted previously - my apologies if it has and isn't anything new. Because leaving is so new I am googling constantly and obsessed with this stuff now - gee I have to move on and get over it but it has only been a very short time.

  I think the way they conduct the meetings has something to do with it. Have you noticed how for example each meeting is conducted exactly the same regardless of the kingdom hall. The org has done some serious thinking as to how each meeting is to be conducted. I am starting to believe that it is a form of hypnosis. If this is correct that is why we all feel messed up in the head! Why we don't know how to think properly for ouselves and have trouble looking at both sides of things. Purps I feel the same way as you - doing something then something pops inn my head - like what heck is going on with me LOL.

  Purps hope you find this link interesting - I sure did! And it is from the land down under so it has to be good (you know how good we aussies are - just kidding)

  http://www.energeticsolutions.com.au/great_watchtower_deception.html#compere_narator_usher

  Purps take Care