ADVICE NEEDED: Non-religious recital? Yes/No? (IN A CHURCH!) tee-hee :-)

by Open mind 25 Replies latest members private

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  Open mind

  My son plays a woodwind instrument in band at school and has been taking private lessons for a couple years now. Where we live, dubs can get away with this without too much heat. I support his music 100%.

  His private teacher has from time to time rented studio space at a local church to give lessons. This was a wonderful piece of serendipity that dropped into my lap about a year ago. My loyal-dub wife, son and I agreed that as long as we weren't buying the rental space or lessons directly from the church, that it would be OK with our consciences. But, we also agreed that if any local dubs ever saw it that it would probably blow up in our faces and he would have to stop taking lessons there.

  Guess what his teacher is organizing now? A RECITAL of course!!!

  And where better to have it than at the church!!

  As far as we can tell right now, the recital isn't going to be religious in nature whatsoever. The students are from throughout the community, not just this church. But............ it's obviously much more public that just slinking in to take a one-on-one private lesson while looking over your shoulder to make sure the coast is clear of any nosy dubs who might be driving by.

  Right now, my wife, son and I are leaning toward him not being able to do it. And the problem is, how to tell the teacher, who is really hyping this recital. BTW, I'm only leaning that way as a matter of strategy, I truly have no problem with him doing it. My wife though, sees it as crossing the line too far and feels we just can't go there.

  So, once again, I seek the input of my fellow JWDers on how to make the most of this latest development in my little corner of dubland. Should he go? Yes/No. And whichever side you choose, give ways to justify it and/or sow the biggest seeds of discontent with the Borg.

  Open Mind
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  ButtLight

  I think if your ok with him taking lessons there, its no different then him playing in the recital there. Just my opinion......
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  carla

  Just had a similar situation. Only it was the public school that needed to rent the space from a local church. Long story short, my jw refused to go. Just another nail in his coffin for the child who was hurt because their jw parent refused to go. The entire performance was non relgious but I guess you get church cooties from walking into a building. assinine rules. Just another memory for our non jw child to store away.
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  bebu

  I wonder if there have been any KHs that have rented out their buildings for secular purposes. Or how about the large facilities in NY? Large halls, apartments, whatever? If they rent them out on occasion, do they require all attendees of the event to listen to JW propaganda?

  If JWs have done it (and I don't know the answer here), then they should understand that renting a building isn't the same as coming to an event. Even if it works out that your son doesn't go, you could let them consider this point.

  bebu
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  proplog2

  Watchtower had their biggest conventions at Yankee Stadium. Knights of Columbus was the owner of the land on which Yankee Stadium was built.
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  carla

  I think it would be a real shame for your child not to experience performing in front of a live audience after all his hard work.
  Could you & the jw's be stifling a future musician?
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  Bumble Bee

  Tough situation. I know JW relatives that would not set foot in a church for any function. WW has from time to time rented out a room in a church and my mother would not go, even though there was NOTHING religious about it. She did go to her brothers funeral in a church though.

  Other than there are going to be way more people there - I don't really see the difference between the recital and the lessons. I think it would be upsetting for your son to miss out on that, and he probably wouldn't understand why it's ok to go for lessons in the church and not the recital.

  But, you have to pick your battles with your wife, is allowing him to go going to cause problems with her? Maybe open it up for discussion again and see where it leads, she might change her mind.

  BB
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  OnTheWayOut

  What have you done or decided about this? Did you explain anything to anybody?
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  restrangled

  His private teacher has from time to time rented studio space at a local church to give lessons. This was a wonderful piece of serendipity that dropped into my lap about a year ago. My loyal-dub wife, son and I agreed that as long as we weren't buying the rental space or lessons directly from the church, that it would be OK with our consciences. But, we also agreed that if any local dubs ever saw it that it would probably blow up in our faces and he would have to stop taking lessons there.

  Guess what his teacher is organizing now? A RECITAL of course!!!

  And where better to have it than at the church!!

  The only reason that the recital is being held in a church instead of the KH is because most churches believe in giving back to their community by giving free space to groups...

  My oldest boy sang in a boy choir sponsored by the city of Orlando. They practiced at St. Lukes Episcopal Church and traveled all over the world performing. The mayor took them to Tokyo, Japan with her as a part of a cultural exchange.

  My JW MIL never heard him sing, never heard him perform, never supported the idea, never took the time to actually consider ......WHY?????

  She heard the word "church".

  r's hubby
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  Open mind

  OTWO asked for an update so here it is.

  It's been a busy week and the issue hasn't been addressed yet. The recital itself is still a couple months off, but the teacher is hyping it right now and trying to get committments from students. So, I'm sure it will come up again at this week's lesson.

  I'm thinking my wife and son should hash this one out and I'm going to stay on the sidelines. Sure, that's easy for me, but I also think it's good strategy. As far as damaging my son, I'm not overly concerned about it as he does have other venues that he can perform in. So it's not like his entire world is falling apart. But by mainly sitting this one out, my wife and son will be forced to put into words the real reason he can't do it. And that will sound stupid and my son will remember it as one more thing to add to his "whatever list". The real reason, BTW, is that if anyone in the congregation finds out, the nosy BOE will get involved and he'll have to probably quit even taking lessons there since it's a demon-infested, wild beast-ridin', church.

  BTW, for those just tuning in to the soap opera that is my life, the "whatever list" is the list that when it gets long enough, a person decides they don't want to be a dub anymore. In the mean time, you roll your eyes, say an exasperated "WHATEVER", add it to the list and keep up dub appearances. I think that currently in my kids minds, the list is just a few minor annoyances and that leaving the dubs is probably out of the question. My hope, and plan, is for that list to keep growing along with their frustration at being dubs.

  I think this situation, while somewhat stressful to my son, is a winner whichever way we decide to go.

  Open Mind