Is a rapid graceful exit possible?

besty

We will find out soon. As a brief update my wife Sweet Pea and I have 'announced' to a few friends and close family - less than 10 altogether - that we are no longer going to meetings. Some friends have probed for details, others don't want to know. All the usual commiserations of our impending death at Armygeddin' have been made along with disappointment, bereavement, shock etc etc

Anyways - in a different congregation one of our friends is so upset she calls an elder who then calls our elders to let them know - they claim to know all about it, although they haven't spoken to us yet. So our hand is a bit forced - we had been intending to say no more about it and just turn the lights out and leave - now our elders are on our case and we are in the dark as to what exactly they know and what they are doing.

So I make a call to a faded ex-PO (in fact a missionary at one point) and ask for some advice. He recommended calling a friendly elder and positioning ourselves as wishing to go quietly and not making a fuss - basically one last dance with the devil to achieve our end of a rapid graceful exit without DA or DF.

So I called said friendly elder and reaffirmed that we had only spoken to a few close friends out of politeness and they had pushed us for reasons and we had been as tactful as possible with general conments of "it not being for us right now" etc. I stressed that I never say never and if things change we may be back (thinks to himself if the GB do a world tour in sackcloth and ashes begging for forgiveness and a comple about-turn on all their crazy doctrines and offer unreserved apologies for all the screwed up lives, I still wouldn't go back). He was sorry obviously asked if he could help and if we were DA'ing ourselves - I said 'Nooooh - never would we think of DA'ing ourselves - we're just not interested'

All in the call took 5 minutes. Combined 40 years of baptised service finished in a 5 minute phone call...or is it...???

Updates as and when if I get any more flak, but any comments on the technique would be appreciated...

OnTheWayOut

I like this story. It has closure and peace at the end- at least the end you hope it is.

I think it's too late, but your calling and telling them so much was too much. They will
use it to say you DA'ed if they want to. Probably not. IMO- Don't give any more info.
Just say, "We are on break." HOW LONG? "You will be the first to know when I know."

Tipping your hand can make them feel obligated to remove your dangerous ability to
talk to the friends. Safer to just cut you off.

I hope I am wrong. It still gives you a sense of finality and closure and peace.
Good job. Now, avoid the elders.

Gregor

The friendly elder you spoke to MIGHT be willing to look the other way but if he is part of a body of elders eventually the subject of irregular publishers will come up, usually just before a CO visit, and then your above story will be related and there is nothing a CO likes more than visiting someone in order to make them get in or get out. You get the "visit" and based on what you say you will then find out how "graceful" things are going to be.

done4good

It really depends on your congo. The elders in my last hall really had too many issues to deal with inside, to even bother with someone who said they wished to be left alone. I know of several in that hall who did just that, (myself included). None had to d/a or were d/f'd. OTOH, I had elders looking for me, from a previous hall that I belonged to, when they heard of my apostate ways....Like I said, it depends...

j

OnTheWayOut

Don't let me make this thread a downer. This has already happened. Just celebrating and
cheer and support are needed.

Poztate

He recommended calling a friendly elder and positioning ourselves as wishing to go quietly and not making a fuss - basically one last dance with the devil to achieve our end of a rapid graceful exit without DA or DF.

This could be the best card to play. We are not creating problems or a fuss. We just want to leave and be left alone WITHOUT any announcements.

A lot of elders CO's and DO's must realize that with the information readily available on the internet that "hurting people" by DA'ing or DF'ing is no longer a one way street.

If they hurt me I can and will hurt them by getting information out.... How about a sign outside a K.H. with a link to www.freeminds.org or www.jehovahs-witness.com

Mad

Well, when it comes to what's wrong- if you REALLY feel it is- why NOT make waves? Isn't that something that will alert others?

Or are you just trying to save face, knowing it is the Truth- with some messed-up people in the Brotherhood, and problems of your own?

the Mad JW

restrangled

Well, when it comes to what's wrong- if you REALLY feel it is- why NOT make waves? Isn't that something that will alert others?
Or are you just trying to save face, knowing it is the Truth- with some messed-up people in the Brotherhood, and problems of your own?
the Mad JW

MAD.....He and his wife gave 40 years of their life to the same organization that you belong to...show some respect. Not everyone can live the lie like you. Maybe he's just sick and tired of lying.

r's hubby

greendawn

As long as you don't do anything that is considered by them as a valid reason for getting you DFed there is nothing they can do to you. Not going to meetings or associating with the JWs is not one of these.

avidbiblereader

I agree with Restrangled, you may be sick of it but you are not stupid when it comes to their policies, sad to say don't be surprised if they DA you anyway, I wish you the best.

abr

Is a rapid graceful exit possible?

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