10 Nutty Beliefs!

Tina

Dr Albert Ellis has identified 10 irrational beliefs that can influence us and contribute to over reacting in specific situations.
Knowing them is the first step in taking back your personal power and not becoming a casuality of such irrational thought.These screwy beliefs tend to make us 'awfulize,think in terms of 'they SHOULD,I SHOULD' and dysfunctional rationalizations.

1. Worrying too much about what other people think of you. Excessive worrying creates a strong fear of rejection.
These folks will ignore the self to please others or will display this insecurity by attacking others in order to stay distant and detached.

2. I must NOT fail at important tasks,and if I do it's terrible and I can't stand it.

3.People and things SHOULD always turn out the way I want them to-and if they don't it's AWFUL,terrible and horrible,and I can't stand it.

4.If any of the first 3 bad events happens(if Im not liked or respected,if i fail,or if things don't turn out as I'd like-then I'll always blame someone for it! They acted wrongly,as they should not have done,and they are rotten people for acting in that terrible way!

5.If I worry obsessively about some upcoming event or how someone really feels about me,things will actually turn out better.

6.Perfect solutions exist for every problem,and I must find them-and immediately!

7.It's easier to avoid difficult situations and responsibilities than face them.

8.If I never seriously get involved in anything and maintain a detached perspective,I will never be unhappy.

9.It was my past,that causes me to act and feel this way now.Not that our past hasn't affected us,but do we remain stuck in it? Do we make an active effort to learn and grow?

10.Bad people and things should not exist,but when they do,they HAVE to seriously disturb me.

These irrational beliefs will make us crazy if we let them. Now that we've identified them,hopefully it will get us to think about ourselves and if we use these. Tina

1.

Gopher

Tina,

Thanks for this post. It identifies "rocks below the water" which could cause us to fail.

It is so easy to fall into these, blaming others & circumstances for our failure to move ahead in life, to meet situations head-on and to pursue worthwhile things to their successful conclusion. It is so easy to feel sorry for ourselves, when in reality the challenges we face and the feelings we must struggle with are really quite the same (in principle) as others must deal with, only the specifics are different.

If you have any other good quotes from Dr. Ellis, it'd be great to see them!

GopherWhy shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)

Rex B13

Amen Tina!
Rex

safe4kids

((((Tina))))),

These irrational beliefs will make us crazy if we let them

OH NO!!!! I think I'm going crazy....arrrrggghhhh!!!

Thanks for sharing these with us Tina; unfortunately, I could see myself in some of them, even though I've spent the last 4 or 5 years of my life trying to overcome them. Guess I needed the 'reminder'...LOL

Love ya,
Dana

"I undid his head collar and took him outside for a drink, and felt, if not exactly a communion with him, at least an awareness of being a fellow creature on a lonely planet."

Dick Francis in "To The Hilt"

Tina

Hi (((((((Goph!)))))))
Well said...'rocks below the water' .....Ellis is so on the money isn't her? Thanks! I'll find some more for ya when I get home sweetie!
Thanks(((((((( rex!))))))))
(((((danabel))))))))) Hey I'm always working on a few as well lol. I think I wrote this post to remind myself lol. Yanno it's the journey that we learn from,not the goal. If I can get rid of all these 'beliefs' my journey will be smoother. Personally,from my view,I dont see you displaying any of those thinking patterns on this board. I've never seen you blame,fingerpoint,try to dictate or control posters behaviors,catastrophizing if it's not being done 'your way' lol. Nope that ain't in ya girl (big smile) Luv ya sis,T Anyway,luv ya sis! T

larc

TINA,

You know my background (retired bank robber), and Albert Ellis is one of my favorite people. Awhile back, I recommended one of his books to Seven. She bought it and said that it was of great value to her.

I would like to add another idea from Ellis to this thread. It is his concept of emotions, the ABCD model. "A" stands for Activating Event. In other words, something happens, something you don't like. It could range from a rude interuption to being fired from your job. We will skip "B" for a moment. "C" stands for consequences, and here we are talking about negative emotional consequences. In the more minor example, how do you feel when someone interupes you. Well, you can feel angry "how dare they" or you can feel depressed, "no one respects my opinion". Ellis states that "A" the activating event, being snubed did not cause "C" the emoional consequences of anger or depression, rather it was "B", your beliefs about what happened. That is where we get to the 10 irrational beliefs that Tina listed. When negative emotions affect you, you have to move to "D", dispute your beliefs. Is it really true that no one respects your opinion. Of course not. How dare they interupt you? Why not. It happens all the time. That's life. Once you can dispute your beliefs that are irrational, you can save yourself a lot of grief.

proplog2

"Stop catastrophizing about the Watchtower and Child Molestation."

That's what Albert Ellis would probably say.

Albert Ellis is considered to be a tough almost cruel therapist.

In therapy he would say:

Patient: I was molested over and over when I was a child. Isn't that terrible?

Ellis: No it wasn't terrible. It was unfortunate. But it wasn't terrible.

Patient: But thoughts about being molested make it impossible for me to have sex with my husband.

Ellis: Of course YOUR thoughts are causing you trouble because you are no longer actually being molested. Since it's just your thoughts that are causing trouble you had better change your irrational thoughts about your experience into rational thoughts. Instead of thinking about how "terrible" it was maybe you should think of it as one of the many unfortunate things that can happen to a person when they are young.

Just an example of what you could expect from Albert Ellis. His advice to everyone's "inner child" GROW-UP ALREADY!!!!

joelbear

Tina and Larc,

Thanks very much for posting about this. This pattern continues to hold me back and make my life less fulfilling than it possibly could be. It has cost me many opportunities and some friends.

hugs

Joel

trevor

Tina,

Thanks for an interesting post.
I belive that if we seek perfection in life we will always be disappointed. I have what I call the 90% rule. When I buy something, have a meal out or go on holiday, I allow for a 10% margin of disappointment. If I get 90% of what I expect I don’t bother to complain. That is as good as it gets and expecting more will lead to frustration.

The perfectionist will always spoil any event by complaining of how if falls short; it always will. I allow myself the same margin of error and a much larger margin of tolerance for my friends. Life is much more fun when one learns to just let things that don’t really matter, go.

Most of our imagined hurts are caused because we had the wrong expectations in the first place. This also applies to our spiritual beliefs. As I said on another thread – Truth will not tune itself to us, we must tune ourselves to truth.

Trevor

larc

proplog2,

No, that is not how he would handle it at all. He would agree that being molested repeately as a child was a terrible thing. He would get the patient to dispute the fact that the tragedy has to ruin the rest of their life. They have to put the past behind them and construct a better life for themselves starting today.

10 Nutty Beliefs!

Share this