Somebody talk to me

by Puternut 47 Replies latest jw friends

  • Puternut
    Puternut

    I am having one of those really down days. Things aren't going right. I can't concentrate on my work, and I don't feel well. My mind is racing about all kinds of things. I am out of the borg and am starting all over again. Though the future looks what I will make of it, at the same time it's scary to me. I have no more family and lost all my friends. Earlier, I actually sat with a bottle of cyanide and stared at it. I thought how easy it would be not to hurt anymore. Please don't think I am a freak, it was just a fleeting thought I had. I come here to the board to talk to others and have fun with other people, but inside I am still hurting over the WT experience.

    Ever have those days when you feel really lost? Feel purposeless? No direction? Well this must be my day to be haunted by emotional suffering, and anguish. Maybe I should get me a bottle of wine and get out of tune with myself. Yuk, I hate these feelings............

    Puternut

  • Sassy
    Sassy

    this is my one and only post.. and I am so glad that I had it left to say something..

    Please keep connected to us and don't let it take you down too far. Please. I tried to commit suicide once. It isn't a positive thing. We care about you... I'll see if you are online when I get home.. I'm waiting for my ride home from work right now

  • Tatiana
    Tatiana

    Hi, let's talk! Wine is a good start. I had a month like that. Seriously, I know how you feel. But, we're all here. And you're not alone. Let me go find a good joke for you.....

    Love...April

  • pettygrudger
    pettygrudger

    I USED to have days like that all the time puternut,,,,,,and if I could make it, anyone can.

    This is a temporary phase of your life, just like the wonderful phases you've had in the past (and will have again). You can't always change the way you feel, but if you just go with this, and get through, there is much more happiness on the other side.

    Hate to bring up bible examples - but remember the life of Job.

    And keep posting here - it seems to help on the worst days.

  • flower
    flower

    Weve had those days...but it gets better. No one is going to lie and say its not hard as heck to leave the WT and get on with your life.

    Outsiders might think that the hard part is over once you get through that initial shock and despair at learning the 'truth' but in reality that is just the beginning. Next comes trying to put back together whats left of yourself and your life and make it worth something.

    I'm right there with ya dude. But after two years I can tell ya the lows arent quite so low and there are occasional highs as well.

    Hang in there

  • pettygrudger
    pettygrudger

    P.S. Someone once gave me a piece of advice that worked for me - maybe it will work for you as well.

    Whenever you're feeling this low, get out there and do something for someone else. Volunteer somewhere, pay for the meal behind you in the drive-thru line, give a homeless person a meal or a couple of bucks.

    Showing kindness to others is probably one of the best pick-me-uppers there is.

  • nilfun
    nilfun

    Puternut, in the past, it has helped me to hang on -- 'til the feeling passes. Just Hang on, please, okay?

  • Sassy
    Sassy

    Good.. I have earned time for another post..

    I know about the family and friends.. I know exactly how you feel.. I've had my kids torn from me.. you know that.. we've talked.. and SimpleSally was my only friend (and because she had left before me) that I have left.. I feel lost too..

    BUT REMEMBER>> you have a big family.. US..

    We are all here for you.. I'll check for you on the messenger when I get home.. but it will take me at least an hour to get there.. and that is if my ride pics me up soon! (I'm waiting as we speak)

  • got my forty homey?
    got my forty homey?

    I feel lost all fo the time, but then I find a sign that says resume speed!

  • little witch
    little witch

    Puternut,

    There are two ways you can look at this.

    Yes you have lossed family and friends. Most of us here have too.

    But those were family and friends who accepted you on a conditional basis.

    Those relationships must be replaced with people who will love you just how you are.

    Look at it this way, you are starting over with a clean slate. You wont have your friends and family chosen for you (that made you unhappy).

    You may pick and choose your own, according to how these people treat you and make you feel.

    Some people are just toxic. We cannot choose our family, but we can limit their ability to hurt us. Sometimes that is necessary. If their purpose is to hurt us, then we are better off and happier to limit their influence in our lives.

    Do you realize how many of us here are going through the same thing, or have in the past?

    You are not alone hon. And yes it is scary. Facing life alone is very scary. But you are not alone here. You are amoungst hundreds if not thousands who have been through the same torment.

    You will regain your balance, and replace what is lossed. If We can help in any way, let us know,k?

    Don't give up hope when you are just at the point of rebuilding your life. Better times await, and are very near. Don't give up bud!

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