Somebody talk to me (page 5)

little witch

BTW,

I double posted because what I had to say was so GD important!

(joking)

Sassy

Well traffic was horrendous and the roads not great, so I just got home.. looks like you might have called it a night..

I can see the love in the room has been here for you and that is good! One of the things in life is when we go through adversities, later it will be someone else who is going through similar things and then we too can say, I know for I have been there. I like to think that if you can't find any other silver lining, the fact that you can be there for someone later because you do understand adds to the kind of person you are inside. Maybe it doesn't help too much, but later I know for me, when people were going through stuff and I reached out to them, I remembered that sentiment..

I think the biggest thing I have learned about leaving the WTS.. it is so scary because we think we are losing everything. I even remember my 'old best friend' telling me trouble days would come down the road and all my friends would not be there for me when I needed them.. well she was wrong. I still have friends.. and I made more every day.. here.. unconditional friends who really care.

Any way, hope you are hanging in there and tomorrow is an easier day. We are here for you.

seattleniceguy

Puter,

One thing that really helped me was finding a way - any way - to get involved in my community. I spent a couple hours a day in a nearby coffee shop, just to try to establish a group of people whose face I knew and vice versa. Maybe try volunteering somewhere? How about looking up old acquiantences? I looked up a few people that I had always really liked but didn't associate with because I was a "good JW." Also, you'd be suprised how interested non-JWs are to hear about your experiences.

Honestly, I think more than anything, it was re-establishing some human contact that really helped me. You can make it! We're here for you!

SNG

sunshineToo

Puternut,

I understand what you are going through. But remember that when you got out of the WTS, you are now beginning the real life. We are here for you. We'll be your family and friends.

Try to set some goals for yourself and your future. And take a baby step at a time. Many friends already have given you some good advices. Are you registered to vote yet? How about that? Do you want Bush to serve another term? What about your local issues? Do you want to meet people and socialize? Oh, please, don't go to a bar. Why don't you visit local churches (only if religion doesn't make you uncomfortable), and volunteer at various places?

I know sometimes things are not just easy. Do you miss your former friends and family? When I was crossing the line of DA, I got so hurt from my mom and other friends, I was rather upset than missed them. Now after 1 1/2 years, I don't miss them at all. If they left me just like that, they weren't worth it. That's what I think. My mom and I are doing much better now. As far as friends, I'm making new good friends.

I picked up a voter registration form the other day. I'll give my two cents on the election day, and support our Governor Arnold Schwaltzneger. I'm not sure if I spelled his name right.

Hunyadi

Ever have those days when you feel really lost? Feel purposeless? No direction? Well this must be my day to be haunted by emotional suffering, and anguish.

Please, puternut, know that so many of us are going through or have gone through what you are going through, and we have come through, albiet, scarred and affected, with a new perspective on life and the world.

I went for 10 years, after physically detaching from the org, not allowing myself to cultivate any real or deep relationships, not experiencing any real joy or happiness. It sucks. The guilt of betraying Jehovah would not permit me to move on since I had always been taught, and believed, that, everything is vanity except for serving Him by knocking on doors and attending 5 meetings each week.

I implore you, friend, not to spend so much time in tumbledown. Find away to turn the sense of loss and those other negative emotions into something that empowers you to move beyond. All the emotions we experience, posative and negative, are God-given, and they serve a purpose. (Jesus, while being a perfect man, did display an incredible range of human emotion that did not make him weak by any means) They are something like the underlying conduit for our conscience to prevail in guiding us toward the right path. How so? Every emotion that we feel at any given time is our brain signalling us to take some sort of action that enables us to draw away from the pain and move toward more posative perspectives. And it is the gaining of new perspective that enables us to give even the most tragic experiences a posative meaning, which in turn, enables us to move on and become happy and productive again. While I might be over-simplifying things, it only took me ten years to realize this and genuinely laugh again. You are on the diffucult verge of growth. There can be no growth without pain, without suffering. But you will come out of it a better, stronger, happier man.

The dark cloud of the organization that remains looming over your head will begin to evaporate when you allow yourself to get pissed off and confident about your decision to leave, as you begin to cultivate new relationships with quality people of feeling and intelligence, and as you begin realize that you can still serve God, if it is your desire, in a way that is acceptible to Him, without the approval or reproach of any man.

Warm Regards,

Hunyadi

You are doing the right and healthy thing in reaching out to others. Keep doing that and you will make it.

My thoughts are with you, Puternut.

H

LyinEyes

Puternut, I have been where you are so many times, and still have days just like you described.

I have been disassociated for a year and a half,,,,, I think,,,,,,,lol.

I am at the age that I thought I would be set,,,,,,everything in place waiting for the end to come. Now things are not that way.......there are new challenges to face, many uncharted waters to tread.

I too feel lost and not sure. For now,,,I just look at everything I do as a learning experience, as if I am just 21 ....lol. I guess because so many things in my JW life I never did, many things I never got the chance to do either. So with taking those chances , comes times where I am not sure , I am scared....but I have found that it makes me feel more alive, than I ever have.

Healing from the borg, is not a painfree processs at all. When you walk away from it all, there are going to be very painful times, days you just don't know where you life is heading. At least that is the way my journey has taken me. Even with the anquish of the days of uncertainty, I will take them over the drugery of the JW life anyday,,,,,,,at least I am going somewhere instead of no where at all.

I hope tomorrow finds you in a better place Puternut,,, my thoughts and well wishes are with ya,,,Dede

itsallgoodnow

Peternut, I hope you're feeling better today... I've struggled with depression just at the thought of leaving so I can't know how hard it is for you that you have lost your family, but I know you've got to start by believing in yourself. Your family only cared for you conditionally, but you deserved better than that, we all do. What they think of you is not who you are, please remember. You can make it and you'll be ok, I know it.

Somebody talk to me

Share this