One of the big issues affecting ex-JWs is being shunned by their close relatives. This can be especially painful for parents, children or siblings. The JW relative may even make some exceptions to associate in the name of "necessary" business, but then later on their conscience "pricks" them, and they realize that they have pushed the envelope too much and they withdraw their association altogether ... OR ... the Society comes out with some article or the CO comes to town, and manage to ding on some issue that make JWs feel guilty about associating with DF'd and DA'd relatives.
A Secret that ex-JWs want and may need to know: This is something that Elders will not openly tell you. But once armed with this secret information, you have some power to possibly moderate your relationships with your JW relatives who will listen to you. Let's hope this helps:
The Elder manual, "Pay Attention to Yourselves and to All the Flock", coded ks-91E, published by the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of New York, Inc., in Unit 5(a), "Overseers 'Ruling for Justice Itself', under the sub-heading "Proper View of Disfellowshipped and Disassociated Persons, the bolded lead-in sentance says, "The principle set forth in Jesus' words at Matthew 10:34-38 has a bearing on situations involving disfellowshipped or disassociated relatives," then goes on to state in the last paragraph of Page 103:
"Normally, a close relative would not be disfellowshipped for associating with a disfellowshipped person unless there is spiritual association of an effort made to justify or excuse the wrongful course."
The instruction is clear and not modified by notes in any Elder schools since its publication in 1991. There are no other contextual modifiers. The following page goes on to make allowance for giving a Bible talk at a funeral of the DF'd person. This information, therefore, stands current in 2003 as is.
The explicite Watchtower instruction is very clear. As long as the ex-JW and JW agree that they will not try to engage in "spiritual association" or do anything that would be taken as trying to undermine the active JWs faith in the religion, or excuse the ex-JW course in leaving the religion, then the JW is free to associate according to this instruction from the Faithful and Discreet Slave Class. It just cannot get simpler or plainer than that folks.
If your JW relative is not trustful of this information, just have him/her talk with the PO, or any fine upstanding Elder, and have him bring out his copy of the ks-91 "Flock" or "Pay Attention" book as some call it, and read it for themselves. This may also cause your close JW relative to question why Elders are given secretive material not available to the general rank and file JW population, and why this little provision is NOT disclosed to them in the last 12 years ... or actually long before that since this publication has been around a while longer ... since 1977.
As a BETTER alternative, your close JW relative can also write to the Watchtower Society's Service Department or call them at the Service Desk and ask about this instruction, and the Watchtower Society will certainly agree with their own material ... it is better, however, if your close JW relative can get it in written form via response from the Society. That way they can place it in the face of Elders who may question them for associating with you.
Maybe this can put your JW relative's conscience at ease, and you and they can at least have some type of normal relationship. The "Flock" book is a fascinating book. Every JW should have a copy so they too can practice what is preached in private by the Watctower Bible and Tract Society of New York, Inc. - Jim W. 
PS: Some below are arguing what is done in actual pracrice. In this post, I am not arguing about actual practice ... rather what the undisclosed, withheld, secretive information is ... and how being armed may allow """some""" JWs to relax their conscience. Comparably, in actual practice, JWs believe that they are NOT false prophets ... but by digging out information they published in their distant history that they are not normally exposed to, we can show otherwise ... and as a result "some" JWs leave the religion. The objective here is to show how "some" JWs might use the Watchtower published material to their own advantage.