I'm really ticked right now!!!

sammielee24

Situation ugly. Long story short - adult children have refused contact with df'd father for a few years. (except for the initial obligatory hate letter full of references to Satan and some disgusting name calling). He backed off with respect to their feelings so now a few years later decides to send one of them an anniversary card with a small gift card inside for a dinner out. There was no big message inside except a simple best wishes and love. Thats it. All that was desired was to keep the lines of communication open.

The card was returned today with a message included informing him that 'as servants of Jehovah, we refrain from this type of contact with disfellowshipped ones. Please contact us only in family emergency situations'.

I'm so ticked off I could scream!!!!!!!! We've been kicked in the head and stomped on over and over by the family and this type of crap - so my question is this - what type of family business is it we should contact the kids and other family with? The son got married and dad was warned to stay away. We drove a thousand miles to go to a family JW funeral and got a note telling us not to visit with mom and sis. It's just never ending and I'm really fed up. I feel in actuality that I have no obligation to any of the family so what constitutes family business to them? Obviously not funerals. Obviously not weddings or births. Do they really expect me to call them if their father was hurt or sick? Or dead? What would be the point - isn't the emergency when you are alive?

I'm so ticked that I feel like writing the nasty little ingrate back to ask her to provide me a list of what she deems emergency situations - just so I can post it by the fridge....in case we really have one you know. I fully comprehend the Witness way of thinking but this goes beyond the pale...and I have to ask - what are family emergency situations? What scriptures constitute family business? What scriptures point to honouring your parents? This has been a long long day and getting the letter was the straw that broke this camel - I think I've had it with the temper tantrums, the insensitivity, the selfishness, arrogance, lack of compassion and blatant lack of respect.

Just venting cos I can't sleep now and this was playing with my head. A quarter of me says 'send a letter telling them in no uncertain terms that they will be contacted under NO circumstances' again - have a nice life and then the other 3/4 of me says 'don't bother' . Witnesses are incapable of honest communication - they run and hide behind the cover of the society and spout their drivel so that they don't have to be honest with anyone including themselves. sammieswife.

luna2

I would tend to ignore them completely, sammielee. They sound like extremely hardcore dubs. Maybe this is for the best as it doesn't string you along the way others have been by teaser communication from family only to have them back off or say something hurtful when their consciences are pricked. This way you know from the get go where you stand. Heck, I wouldn't even contact them in a family emergency cuz they really aren't much of a family. Who'd want a bunch of damned dubs, who have disowned you, gathering around like vultures during an illness or other tragedy.

This sounds kind of vengeful (and maybe it is...I can be that way), but I'd make sure your will reflects that these people are not a part of your life and, therefore, should benefit not at all from your estate. I'd leave whatever you have to leave to charities or other family members who will associate with you.

mouthy

'don't bother' . Witnesses are incapable of honest communication - they run and hide behind the cover of the society and spout their drivel so that they don't have to be honest with anyone including themselves

I think that would be my response..'''.Forgive them they know not what they do.''..They have lost their minds to a false prophet.thinking it is for GOD.. in their minds if one of you died THAT is important contact....Just so they can THINK you will get a resurrection... But while your alive no!!! Your DEAD to them Pity.....

sammielee24

Thanks guys...I appreciate the comments. My nature is one of being pretty patient and I really believe in trying but I feel like this is the last straw. I'm really worn out on this one - after the funeral incident I thought it was bad but this kind of seals it. I'm not a JW so his kids could care less about me but they are making me feel like I'm not obligated to call them if something happens to their dad...and you are right, I don't need the negative energy and hate they surround themselves with. This is painful for my husband though - they are his kids. Its only when you are 'out' that you see how much damage is done to families and in so many ways and for what? For who? It's all crap. sammieswife.

restrangled

What a slap in the face. I'm curious, did they keep the gift?

I have the same questions you have regarding what is considered "family business". My mom showed up at my door the other day on family business, having the nerve to ask if one of my son's wanted to do some work in her yard. Then promptly handed me a 3 page typed letter filled with scriptures to back up her reasons for shunning me. I acted like people use to at the door in service, opening it only about 3 inches, and basically saying, I'm not interested.

restrangled.

carla

I'm so sorry for the entire situation. I don't have any real advice, but I guess I wouldn't bother contacting them either. They are uncapable of normal relationships.

Restrangled, sounds like your mom wants to get into your childs life, I wouldn't allow that either.

It is these kinds of stories that I often repeat when talking to friends that disgust people the most about jw's.

Synergy

Pray for them daily that they be freed. You know they're not happy stuck in there like that. It's a false sense of security and they're miserable living as JW's...everyone is. I pray for my father who told me to kill myself when I became a Christian. I pray for him daily. Beg God to free your family from Satan's grip of the Watchtower as He has freed you. Then rest in God's love for you and the larger family that you have in Christ.

Renee (of the pray for your enemies class)

Scully

Necessary Family Business™ usually means "when the JW needs money from you (because the congregation won't help in those instances)". It can also mean "we need you to look after our ailing parent in the hospital, because we've got better things to do".

If I ever get a request from a JW relative for money, I'm planning on telling them to take a long walk off a short pier.

greendawn

What a barbaric lot, they don't deserve to have any contact with you and you will obviously not go back to the dubs by being emotionally blackmailed in this way.

Honouring one's parents is above any man made laws.

Celia

I feel like writing the nasty little ingrate back to ask her to provide me a list of what she deems emergency situations - just so I can post it by the fridge....in case we really have one you know.

I would do it, if I were you....

What a sad story. More people need to know about such cases of shunning your own parents, your own children.... It is so unnatural, so cruel. What hypocrites ! "By their love you will know them" .... AH !

I'm really ticked right now!!!

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