David had a dick fetish - 1 Samuel 18

by donkey 47 Replies latest members adult

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  donkey

  25 And Saul said, Thus shall ye say to David, The king desireth not any dowry, but an hundred foreskins of the Philistines , to be avenged of the king's enemies. But Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines.

  26 And when his servants told David these words, it pleased David well to be the king's son in law: and the days were not expired.

  27 Wherefore David arose and went , he and his men, and slew of the Philistines two hundred men; and David brought their foreskins, and they gave them in full tale to the king, that he might be the king's son in law. And Saul gave him Michal his daughter to wife.
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  candidlynuts

  maybe saul was hungry and wanted some crispy fried foreskins...

  the very last circuit assembly i went to they had a talk about king david. how the man he had killed so he could have his wife would HAVE to forgive him in paradise or he would not get everlasting life..ROLLED MY EYES and thought to myself.. i come for spiritual food, for something to boost my faith so that i could justify staying in the religion and THATS what i got...

  i've always thought it was laughable that david was such a wonderful person and gods chosen one.. looks like god could chose better. or religion is way to hard on us regular sinners !
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  Elsewhere

  Damn... that must have been a nasty job having to go from one dead body to the next chopping off the tips of their dicks.
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  Satanus

  David did a hundred extras just for fun. Hmmm. And we know how it didn't work out w michal.

  S
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  donkey

  Yeah and Job had breasts which give milk too...

  Job 21:24 His breasts are full of milk , and his bones are moistened with marrow
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  sf

  Haha, this threads title.

  Yet what's even funnier is the advertisement for "high quality childrens stories".

  Edited to say: thinking about the irony, it isn't so funny now.

  sKally
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  donkey

  and God told them to eat shit....

  Ezekiel 4:12 And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man , in their sight
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  ChrisVance

  I prefer the foreskin in it's rightful place.
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  donkey

  And God told them to get shit-faced:

  Malachi 2:3 - Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces
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  EvilForce

  Well David did love Jonathan....
  
  I think David was bisexual.