I now know what it feels like.

by Es 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • Es
    Es

    Hey all I used to read posts where people have found out they have lost loved ones and were never told about it nor the funeral. Last week my mum called me up and said "by the way sister such and such passed away last week the memorial was yesterday"!!!! I used to be close to this sister and for those from australia might even had known her or heard of her Sister Isabelle Sewell married to Ted Sewell, they have been living in Bethel for over 10 years now. When i was younger I used to go to there place all the time i was kind of like there adopted grand daughter as they had no children. Granted i havent seen them for a while but i still felt i deserved to know. And to ring me up the day after whats with that.....was that to rub salt in my wounds???? es

  • jeanniebeanz
    jeanniebeanz
    to ring me up the day after whats with that.....was that to rub salt in my wounds????

    Yeah, pretty much. Kind of a, "See? If you had not been such a naughty girl and left Jehovah <gag> we would have told you this. As it is, you don't deserve to know and I didn't want to risk having you show up at the funeral and embarass me."

    Grrrrrrr.....

    I'm so sorry, Es. It's cruel treatment from people who claim to follow a 'god of love'.

    (((((((((((Es)))))))))))

    J

  • Purza
    Purza

    When I was 19 and DF'd I heard that a very dear brother had died. I called my parent's house and my dad answered and I asked about Brother B. My dad said "did you go to the WT study today?" and of course I said "yeah" (I was lying) and he said "then you know why I can't talk to you" and hung up the phone. WTF? It was that WT in 1988 about dealing with DF'd family members. My own father would not even talk with me about this dear brother's death. Like I wasn't supposed to have feelings or anything.

    Purza

  • RichieRich
    RichieRich

    Its like that. I'm sorry for the loss.

  • Soledad
    Soledad

    I know exactly how you feel. This has happened to me twice in the past year. I showed up to one of the funerals and was not treated very nice but I gave them back a taste of their own medicine. Sorry for your loss, but this is typical JW behavior.

  • Scully
    Scully

    Yeah, it is rubbing salt in the wound.

    They could have chosen the path of love and mercy and kindness, but instead they choose the path of spite, vindictiveness and false righteousness. Just remember that it's THEM who chose the behaviour, and they will have earned whatever consequences eventually visit them because of it. I found out several days after the fact that one of my non-JW grandparents had passed away, in an e-mail that was made up of one sentence. I found out about that I became an aunt the same way. I didn't even get to see photographs for a couple of weeks after because the JW parents chose to leave me out of the loop. Through it all, I tried to be the bigger person, the more loving, the more forgiving, the more understanding and compassionate. But they truly do not appreciate or understand that level of functioning. All they understand is spite and contention and tearing open old wounds at every opportunity.

    Most recently we've been left out of family functions that included non-JW relatives as well as JW relatives. The JW relatives insisted to the non-JW host that we not be invited or even informed about the gathering until after it was over. That was the final blow, in my opinion. They can fall off the face of the earth for all I care, at this point in time.

  • misspeaches
    misspeaches

    Hi Es

    I'm sorry to hear that. I don't know that couple personally but I do know one of their sons and grandkids.

    {{{{{Es}}}}}

  • Es
    Es

    thanks all for your kind thoughts. It annoys me coz im not D\F but obvilously that doesnt make any difference. Even if i was i should have known bout it to pay my respects. Miss Peaches you may be thinking of someone else Ted and Isabelle didnt have any children. es

  • Honesty
    Honesty

    It saddens my heart that you experienced the real JW love.

  • Netty
    Netty

    Thats awful Es. I am sorry for your loss.

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