relationship with jw's

by clay 91 Replies latest social relationships

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  Dragonlady76

  first of all there won't be any of me in a kingdom hall.... like i said im going to try to get her to see the light. but if she does'nt grip it then i WILL leave her alone. and the only way we would get to marriage is if she would get away from that society garbage.

  First off she she has any intrest in you, this will be her first move on you.

  You can show her the light, but that doesn't mean she is ready to accept it.

  Be her friend and nothing more for now, sow the seeds of doubt and let her find out the truth about the "troof", if you tell her it's me or the religion she will choose the latter and that's what she will expect of you, so it's a no win situation.

  DL76
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  clay

  thats exactly what im trying to do be her friend and sow seeds of doubt. i just dont know what to tell her to get her to start doubting the society. and know that if i confront her about this she will chose the society because that is what she was brought up n she finds comfort in it. so i am definetly not pressuring her i would blow my chances.
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  wanderlustguy

  first of all there won't be any of me in a kingdom hall.... like i said im going to try to get her to see the light. but if she does'nt grip it then i WILL leave her alone. and the only way we would get to marriage is if she would get away from that society garbage. and there is NO CHANCE OF ME BECOMING A WITNESS..

  Dude, not to knock you or anything...but you're a 20 year old guy...hell I'm 32 and I can tell you it's damn near impossible to get through to someone in there. Those people have a model that WORKS and works well. If you can consider for a moment, you have about 10-15 people here who came out of the org, telling you it's useless to try and that it will hurt you more than it could possibly benefit. I was in it for over 25 years myself, born and raised. You cannot possibly fathom the amount of control they have on her, nor what the ability to live a double life does to a person and I guarantee you she will have to do it to stay with you and keep Mom happy. Once somebody starts lying at any level...it's hard to stop. There's so many issues we could go all day long. No one here knows you or has a reason to sabatoge what you are trying to do. You wanted honest answers, granted they aren't what you wanted to hear...but I promise you it's the truth.
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  clay

  wanderlust yor trying to tell me it's impossible right. okay then whats this?

  i was in it for over 25 years myself, born and raised.

  you got out didn't you. so tell me WHAT MADE YOU LEAVE???
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  Nosferatu

  so i am definetly not pressuring her i would blow my chances.

  What chances? You've got her mother against you, you've got the congregation against you, you've got all 6 million JWs against you, and you've got the old farts at the headquarters against you. You're gonna take on the 6 million JWs who are influencing her all by yourself? Good luck!

  I also can't help but wondering why you're focussing all your energy on one chick who's mother won't let her go out and play. How old is she?

  If I were you, I'd pull away from her and tell her why. Tell her "I can't be in a relationship where your religion will always be more important than me." Then leave her. If she follows you, you gained something. If she stays with her religion, you've gained nothing but lost nothing.
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  clay

  nos you have a point. she is 20.she is a nurse at a hospital. and her mom really likes me. but if she would like me after i speak against there religion. huu'm i don't know. and the assumption about her mother not letting her go out and play. her mom gives her tremendous freedom to make her own choices. so if she does'nt date its because she was't ready.
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  littlerockguy

  Even if you do date and eventually get married (assuming she is still a believer) her activity in the organization may INCREASE if you two decide to have children. Many parents become more involved in the organization once they have children. To her and the rest of the JWs you would be considered an unbelieving mate and you and her will not be allowed to get married in a church or a kingdom hall, unless she renounces her faith or you embrace hers and get baptized.

  Just food for thought.
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  clay

  im still waiting for wonderlustman's reply.

  does anyone have any advice for me to tell her to get her to start doubting her faith? or re-examining it?
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  bisous

  Clay: Maybe reading the experiences of others who married or dated JWs when they weren't will help you think things through. Here's a link to such personal stories from the "The Best Of" section of this site.

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/32/77159/1.ashx
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  Abaddon

  I would strongly advise against trying to 'convert' her to another brand of Christianity, or even to attack doctrinal beliefs using the Bible.

  She has been taught how to resist that, unless she already has doctrinal doubts, it will be like breaking conditioning, rather than having a sensible discussion. Her conditioning will over-ride any logical argument.

  Here you can learn about the problems with the Organsiation itself that can be high-lighted in such a way as to make her question the claims to being 'god appointed channel' the society makes.

  Look up 'Combatting Cult Mind Control', by Steve Hussain. It's a good starting point at understanding a doctrinal argument is risky, as it isn't the validity of the doctrine keeping her in, it's the conditioning she has recieved.