I was born into the JWs but my parents became inactive when I was about 7 or 8. My Mother had been in since she was 5 when my Grandmother converted. She always hated it, but my Dad was in as were most of my Mom's family.
I'm not sure of the details, but I do know my Father did something that got the elders snooping around. They even cornered my Mother to try and get info on him. Even though my Father did become inactive, he still believed the teachings.
However, during this time, when my parents were inactive, my Grandmother, who lived with us, was a ferverent witness. She was well known in our neighborhood because she tried to convert anyone that crossed her path. Because of other big problems in our home I used to go with her to meetings, book studies, and service, in order to get out of a very stressful house. My parents had a very tumulteous marriage and my Father, a tyrant, was an alcoholic.
I could go on and on about all the things I couldn't do as I young child. Anyone raised in the Org knows about this. Yet, I was allowed to play with worldly kids in the neighborhood and felt awful "knowing" they were doomed to die. I knew what I was told yet still couldn't understand because they were nice kids with nice parents who were very kind to me.
I consider my official break with the Org when my Mother decided for us to celebrate Christmas. We didn't have a tree and nothing was wrapped, but she gave us all these "gifts" on December 25. I still remember the relief I felt that we weren't going back. We still had many relatives in but we weren't shunned.
Then came 1981 and in infamous WT article. I can't quote it but it was about having no association with DF'ed relatives. My Aunt, my Mom's younger sister had been DF'd in 1965 for not showing enough remorse for a out of wedlock birth. She never reinstated. Right before this article, one of my cousins had planned a big luncheon for all the female relatives on my Moms side of the family. When that WT article came out the luncheon was cancelled and my Aunt, my Mom, along with their children, which included me, were shunned.
I know this is becoming very long...Anyway, nearly 20 years go by when one of my JW uncles contacts me. He gets my email address and starts writing me. Then like a flood I start getting emails from several JW relatives. Cousins, an Aunt, etc. And here's the kicker! They want contact again! No apologies for the horrendous pain they have caused. They are completely oblivious to any suffering we have suffered. One JW cousin says we were never "actively" shunned. WTF?
Active or Inactive it still hurts the same. These people played a very important part of my childhood and I still have a stain on my heart from all the trauma the Org has caused me in my life and I think that is why I find comfort here.
I am grateful to everyone that has shared their story on this board.
Andee
