SHUNNING AT A TIME OF BEREAVEMENT..i told them what i think

by chuckyy 30 Replies latest jw experiences

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  chuckyy

  HI

  I posted yesterday or day before regarding my anger at my wife being shunned the day after her father died.

  In fact it was a very deliberate shun by 3 women who went out of their way to brush right past my wife.

  I saw 2 of them today and went up to them in the school playyard and said very loudly for all the parents to hear:

  "I would like to thank you both for your condolensces and for walking right past my wife when her father had just died.

  TRUE CHRISTIANITY???.....Isn't it lovely!!!!!!

  They said nothing...looked embarrassed, and walked off as quickly as possible.

  I feel a bit better

  CHUKYY
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  Gill

  Hi chuckyy!

  Glad you felt able to tell them off. But it's probably water off a ducks back to them. After all, they're just following orders from God's Faithful and Discreet Slave!

  Not sure what you can do with JWs. Beginning to wonder how people can function with their thinking capacities turned off. But at least they were ashamed enough to walk off!

  Very sorry to hear about you wife's father though.

  Best Wishes to you and you wife.

  Gill
• 

  Englishman

  But it's probably water off a ducks back to them.

  Actually, I doubt it. It's a very unanatural thing to shun someone that you know. If the shunner hasn't had time to "steel himself", being forced into a sudden shun causes most shunners acute embarrassment.

  Englishman.
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  diamondblue1974

  From my experience it is difficult to shun others despite the pressure placed upon you from the WTS.

  There was a thinking and i am not sure where it came from but it was that there are times when you can speak to disfellowshipped/disassociated ones; like if you see them struggling with their shopping in the rain (hypothetically) and getting drenched you might offer them a lift etc but not associate with them further; surely that would be the more christian approach.

  Very sad to hear that supposed Christians have lost sight of their values.

  G
• 

  geevee

  diamondblue1974...
  1974 says it for you, check the August 1st wt 1974..this article says what you are saying on the treatment of DFed.
  
  Unfortunately after the gunning down of Ray Franz, that christain way of treating the Dfed was done away with and back to the unmerciful way that has been mentioned. I think he wrote the article.
  
  Whatever happened to using your heart. This is heartless. We had a similar situation, a sister had died, her daughter was DFed and would be at the funeral. The PO and the CO policed the precedings at the KH and even went around telling some of the young MS's that it would be inappropriate to go the the afternoon tea that was to be held after the burial as it one would "be eating" with a disfellowshipped person....it still makes my blood boil. What about using the opportunity to show some real christian feeling...who knows how it may have been accepted. Not just sheer bastardary.
  
  So Chuckky...my heart goes out to you and your wife...a loss like this is hard enough to bear anytime...let alone whilst being treated so appalingly. Please pass on our love.
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  AK - Jeff

  Glad you got the opportunity to tell them off, chukky.

  10 months after my Mom has died [and we are not DF'd], and we never have gotten a call a letter a visit or a flower - they just labelled us 'apostate' - never asked a single question - and proceeded to write us out of the script

  Evil bastards!

  I was going to quote a scripture - but they need to read the them all. How could Jesus bless such hatred disguised as 'love'?

  Just my opinion

  Jeff
• 

  JustTickledPink

  I went through the same thing when I traveled from FL to BC Canada... LONG trip to go to my grandfather's funeral where I was not even spoken to and told to leave my grandmother's house on the eve of the funeral.

  Yeah, it was filled with Christian love alright.
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  Taylor S.

  Good for you Chucky!

  I know it must've felt good blasting them like that. And although it might seem that such words are like water off a ducks back to dubbish types, I believe even they can't turn their minds completely off. Things said stay there ... like a little leech of doubt sucking at their brain.

  It's like a Judge saying 'The jury will strike the prosecutors last remark.' Can't happen. Seeds are planted ... ones that may take years to bloom, but they're in there.

  Good job!

  taylorS
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  Shania

  They are only following Jesus example of love and kindness ----NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can anyone imagine Jesus acting that way toward someone who is crushed in spirit at this sad time in ones life?????Chuck we are so happy you spoke on your wifes behave they need to be the ones to feel embrassed and ashamed.........................This very situation was the start of our eyes beginning to be open at their very pompis behavior----and to think we were apart of it........................We had a sweet girl who used to pioneer in our hall----------------you know the story----------she left and got Dfd--------------everyone loved her before defing-----------but now she is of the world------------she marries,and has a very beautiful baby, who was sick and diedNow you must know she had relatives that where in our hall that would be at the wake-----------so my elder husband (PO) and myself felt it was important to go to support family and besides her husband was not a witness..........................WELL you would of thought we were commiting the sin of the century-----------mind you this is Sat. morning---we must of gotten 10 calls about our decission----------------one elder actually said to my husband------------"you are walking a very thin line if you go" hubby response to that jack-ass was" if Jesus was here he would go and give comfort and then ressurrect that little baby"---------------------I'M GOING NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!!! I was so proud of him for that...................we knew in our hearts that was the Right thing to do..........................we were warmly recieved and low and behold there came the other elders to bring comfort........................so my husband stood up for what was right and proper and the other nit-wits followed-------------but what a fight to show love.................the beginning of the end for us.
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  clementine

  I think you were totally right doing this!!!! their hypocrisy is just so disgusting!!! they could put that off in such situations!! as you say, that is christian "love"!! sorry for your wife's father's death... my sincere condolences to your family... and... good for you again ;-))