Since the Watchtower has regularly disseminated "false prophecy" over the years and has given truly silly reasonings for their beliefs, let's give the Society some ideas as to what they might put into the next Watchtower.....I'll start----"Since the elders are representatives of Christ Jesus himself, we should give them glory too."
Make Up A Prophecy or a Statement You'd Like To See In A Watchtower
by minimus 33 Replies latest jw friends
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shotgun
Flatulents in the Kingdom hall....A tool of Satan or Jehovah's Holy Spear-it working through us?
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jgnat
Our leaders began to realize that many of our past doctrines were not biblical. These doctrines were rejected. Today the Watchtower Society are in full agreement with the apostle's creed.
We do not have any delusions of grandeur, that we will be as great as the apostle Paul. We do not imagine that we will turn the world upside down. We do not think we will transform the world like Paul did. But we do expect God to use us to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ. Perhaps there is a niche out there that needs our particular experience. Perhaps God is preparing us for situations that do not yet exist. We do not know, but we remain ready to respond to God's leading.
When our foundational doctrines were changed, some people claimed that the Watchtower Society should just close its doors and tell all its members to go to authentic Christian churches. Ironically, we heard this not from other Christian churches, but from a few of our own members! They were angry and bitter that the WTS had caused such pain in their lives by teaching erroneous doctrines. They concluded that the WTS had been built on false pretenses and therefore had no right to exist.
We acknowledge that many of our doctrines were erroneous. We acknowledge that the WTS would not exist without those erroneous doctrines. But we do not conclude that Jesus Christ rescued us as a group merely to have us disband. He has bought and paid for this church. It belongs to him, and we have told him that he can have it! If it is of any value to him, he can use it as his instrument, and we are happy to let him lead us. We rejoice in the fellowship we have with him, and we believe that he is already leading us into usefulness.
(Adapted from the World Wide Church of God website)
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Sirona
"" This weeks issue of The Watchtower will be the last. There will be no further issues of Awake! magazine. Since Charles Taze Russell founded the bible students, right up until the Jehovahs Witness organisation of today, there have been fundamental mistakes made. These mistakes are that the Governing Body through the years has been guilty of deception and lies to further its own aims. We have lied to you all and now openly admit it.
We expected you to follow our direction and then published ridiculous policies which killed thousands (Blood doctrine and organ transplants to name two). Our bloodguilt will be something we need to face after our death (yes, we think there could be an afterlife, we lied about that too to keep you selling magazines about armageddon).
The apostates you have shunned are simply your friends and family who you should now get back in touch with. We only told you to shun them for control, so now we're not interested in controlling you its OK for you to now speak to them (sorry about that by the way).
The buildings owned by the society will be sold and the money will be given to suitable charities. An independent body is making sure money is given to the charities and none is syphoned off.
An investigation into individuals is going to be carried out and any illegal activities will be prosecuted. The secret pedophile database will be released to the police, along with all case files we hold on these individuals. A public apology to victims will be made separately to the world press.
We ask all Jehovahs Witnesses not to form splinter groups. This religion is totally untrue and based upon a lie. It was never about the bible, Jehovah or Jesus (by the way, just for the record, there is a chance that Jesus is God.) It was always about power-hungry individuals and the accumulation of wealth.
Some funds will be used to help Jehovahs Witnesses move on and form a life now that the cult is abolished. Helplines:
0800 ITS OVER JWS (for those with issues accepting what we have said. It isn't apostates, its really us saying this)
0800 NOMEETINGS (for help filling your life with useful activites now there are no meetings)
0800 ABUSEDJWS (for abuse issues and making sure the abuser is jailed)
0800 THINKING (to help you learn to think for yourself)
Regards,
The Governing Body (Unfaithful Slave)
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shotgun
Wow Sirona...how do we sneak you into the writing dept in Brooklyn.
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doogie
next week's questions from readers:
"Which Toilet Paper Is Appropriate for a True Christian's Heinie?"
also, i will start subscribing to the watchtower again when they confess the parrallel prophetic fulfillment of the enchiladas i made last week.
i don't care what new prophecy or statement the watchtower comes out with...i won't see it anyway.[makes fart noise with tongue and gives the double thumbs down]
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badboy
WE DECEIVED 6 MILLION PEOPLE!
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minimus
Sirona!
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avengers
Today is a Memorial Day.
We have decided to release these files to the FBI !
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Tuesday
The Light Gets Brighter: 607 B.C.E. date deemed incorrect leading to a 20 Stay of Execution for Armageddon to come.
(that would actually lead us to 1995 which coincides with the death of Grunge Rock which was indeed Christ's second coming)
Our Bad, Armageddon and the New System are actually figuritive speech and the love you find in the congregation is your Perfect Life Reward.