by Julia Orwell 50 Replies latest jw experiences
Sorry, I rarely contribute here, perhaps just a couple of posts in the past.
There are some wonderful insights and suggestions in this thread.
You know, I have had a huge struggle over the past couple of years.
From the initial misery of realization that there is something terribly wrong with the organisation to a full blown rejection of a "movement" I had absolute faith in - its tough. Really tough.
But, you will get through. You really will.
Dear Julia
If you have health issues with your mind and your meds
I would focus there first. Say you are taking a medical leave
and work that out first. If you never come back, too bad.
Some doctors' books I would recommend for regaining confidence
in your mind again
* Change your brain change your life by Dr. Daniel Amen
Some people say the scans he shows are exaggerated, and there isn't that much visible proof of the healing he claims, but the concepts are real and they help to exchange negative thoughts and replace with positive
* Healing by Dr. Francis MacNutt edition 1999 or later
If you want to speed up your recovery from cult abuse, I would contact his nonprofit outreach or other free ones and that may bring you faster relief through your grief process
his nonprofit website is http://www.christianhealingmin.org
Dr. Phillip Goldfedder is a former neurosurgeon who uses spiritual healing now which he found more effective: http://www.healingisyours.com
You can find these references and other free help
that I listed all on one webpage so it's faster to find: http://www.spiritual-healing.us
The biggest step is to FORGIVE and AGREE to ask help to FORGIVE when you can't on your own.
Just forgive 77 times 77, and when it's more than you can let go, that's when you call on Christian prayer in Christ Jesus to do that for you, and it is done. The recovery work with your mind and memories,
you still may need to go through and forgive each memory so they don't keep attracting negative emotions.
The key is forgiveness, so on that website I listed the Steps to Forgiveness and Dangers of Unforgiveness
to help let go of these traps along the road to recovery. Keep forgiving and it will pass, one day one step at a time.
Julia, your mom loves you no matter what. The org does not. That she is saying this may have some merit-she knows you pretty well, I'd think! You are not getting support from any JW. You need to draw a line in the sand, perhaps, to move forward.
Whatever all the mental health issues that you are facing are, they are not entirelly wrapped in the org. I presume. See a counselor. You can find one that is qualified to help you if you seek them out. Call the society that manages those doctors and ask for a recommendation.
I am sorry about your kitty. They are good for cuddling and they seem to know us better than anyone but a dog:)
Good luck!
Julia, I am sorry that you are not feeling so hot. I had a depressive episode starting in August, exacerbated by the loss of my 18 year old cat in September, and lasting until just recently. Oh, and I am a certified teacher who is only working as a substitute and I am not happy about that either.
Are you stressing because it's summer and you are worrying about employment for next school year? Do you feel stuck? Please find a therapist to help you get over the hump. I have bipolar disorder and I have been seeing my psychiatrist more often than normal to adjust my meds to try to get me over the hump.
But, in the meantime, your life suffers and you need a plan to get back on track again. A therapist could help you with both getting over the trauma and then putting your life back together. I am still in process because the bipolar waxes and wanes. And then I have to put it back together all over again.
My advice is to not stress over a teaching job right now. If you are not ready, as you know, it won't work out well. First is taking care of yourself. Call a therapist, please, and give them a chance to understand and be able to help.
Cry over your kitty as much as you need to. Make a small memorial if you so desire. Honor her life and her contribution to yours. Leave your heart open to the possibility of adopting another furry friend when you are ready. I adopted a kitten and he is quite a wild thing! I had forgotten about rogue attacks from under the sofa!
Please pm me if you'd like. I feel like I truly understand where you are coming from because there seem to be lots of similarities in our situations. I am coming out the other side of a bad episode right now, so hang in there! Things can get better.
GrreatTeacher
I too am a substitute teacher, and not a very good one.
The reason I joined the cult in part was because I was a socially awkward kid who never fit in. The jws seemed to accept me for who I am and explain their doctrines well (to a 15yo). Now at 34 I feel to scared to invest in the future and committing to anything, even my art business which does well when I want it to. I can't finish any of the stories I'm doing because I'm either afraid of success or of failure. Nothing excites me that I go, "yes! I want to enrol in that!" or if it does, I don't trust my addled brain to cope.
I have however, just sorted my Medicare out so I can get a referral to a counsellor. That will definitely help me get my groove back. At the moment I just feel that everything's either too hard or turns to crap when I touch it. Except my art, but even that seems like too much hassle some days so I don't do what I should with it such as sell at markets and advertise to get more commissions.
See my stuff at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Art-By-Sheree-Stokell/209099695783780
It's something I've started since I left the cult and helps me chill.
Hi Julia, wow. I checked out some of your paintings. You are very talented.
Maybe the reason you did not do great at your other job is that your heart isn't in it. Your passion is art. My wish for you is that you can some how make a living doing something you love.
Your art is worthwhile, and a noble legitimate pursuit, not just a hobby.
Good for you for actively getting help. The world will be a poorer place without your artistry. Your work deserves a spot light.
Miss.Fit
Julia, if you are teaching in a school using the common cores standards, then there you are. The CCSS is stressing out and causing many teacher to leave the profession. The reasons are too many to post in this thread, but do NOT take it to heart that it is YOU who is unable to teach properly. It is almost certainly NOT you.
Don't give up on finding something right for you! Just because it isn't jumping out at you doensn't mean it is not out there. These things can take time. ((hugs))
I've said this many times and I'll say it again.There are many ways to accomplish your goal without playing by their rules & validating their self-appointed authority over you. The notion that you need them to perform a mean religious ritual on you for you to feel better is preposterous really (sorry).
-Block people from your email/phone/Facebook. Return mail. Don't answer the door and notify them not to trespass on your property.
-Do a little closure ceremony of your own--bury or burn magazines, write an unsent letter, etc.
-Announce yourself publicly as a non-jw. (Ex: tell coworkers, neighbors, Facebook, etc.)
The biggest step is to FORGIVE and AGREE to ask help to FORGIVE when you can't on your own.
I am sorry but I could not disagree more. As a former behavioral health clinician, I know this to be totally untrue. This 'forgiveness' thing is a religious teaching, not something required for mental health.
Acceptance is needed. Moving on is needed.Those are the only aspects that affect mental health.
Forgiveness is separate from that--forgiveness means you're saying what happened is ok. Not only is that untrue in the case of jw/wts, it's unhealthy to pretend it's true.
I am sorry but I could not disagree more. As a former behavioral health clinician, I know this to be totally untrue. This 'forgiveness' thing is a religious teaching, not something required for mental health.
Acceptance is needed. Moving on is needed.Those are the only aspects that affect mental health.
Forgiveness is separate from that--forgiveness means you're saying what happened is ok. Not only is that untrue in the case of jw/wts, it's unhealthy to pretend it's true -rebel8
Thanks for this rebel. It's something I have thought for a long time and I've said so on this forum. I did wonder what mental health professionals thought about it because it was just my opinion from experience. Thanks.
