Hi Everyone,
I have been reading the posts for a while now, and it has really helped. I wasn't sure if i should post, but I have been so touched reading about other peoples experiences that I wanted to share mine. I was never raised JW. I met my ex boyfriend 5 years ago. We broke up four months ago. He was raised a JW all his life. He is one of 6 kids was baptized at the age of 12. He was disfellowshipped at the age of 17 for premartial sex. I thought that if we loved each other we could work out our differences. His parents are still and always will be in the "truth". He still lives at home, and to me has never moved on. From the beginning I always felt like something was wrong. He would tell me JWs beliefs, tell me how he was raised, and i decided to research it for myself. I could never understand how shunning was okay. I was bothered when I went to the memorial, and they acted as if he didn't exist. I started researching, and felt even more that this was all wrong. The division it causes in families, shunning, education, blood and the list goes on. He read the boook Crisis of Concience, and I was hoping it would help. He would tell me he wouldn't go back, but he really has never moved on. I was the only friend he had. He never bothered to make friends after he was disfellowshipped. When other witnesses were at the house we would call me constantly. I think he still believes a lot in the "truth" and feels he is doomed. During the course of our relationship he never went to birthdays, wedding etc with me, but yet he would ask me to go to the memorial or his family functions! I now see that relationships like these don't work. I am learning to accept I cannot get him out of this. He will have to find his way out. I must live my life and accept that he might never really leave and move on. It has been painful to think that their organization is more important to him than me. These people who don't care about him at all. I thought he might move on because he would say he didn't want to go back, and he would tell me how there were things wrong. I invested too much of my time, love, and energy. I I am still angry and resentful, but know with time it will get better. There is no compromise in this situation, and I knew I wanted nothing to do with JW's. I consider myself fortunate that I don't have a child with him, that we are not married, and most of all that my family is not JW. I guess I will end it here. I feel like I have been all over the place with this post. It feels good to realize I am not the only one who has been in a relationship with a former JW. To realize what i was feeling and thinking was right. I have learned a great deal, and I think that the message needs to come out to expose the real "truth" to help those who have left and are mourning, and feeling, afraid, angry, hurt! To help those who are thinking of joining this organization. Keep up the good work!!