Thanks everyone for replying. I feel like I should clarify a few things up front. I am in no way considering becoming a witness, so I have already run and run fast, as most have put it.
As far as ex goes, if I even tried to show him any material he would never look at it. I tried this this last weekend when we were at a book store and I saw a book written by a former member on her abuse from their "cult" and how she was urging all still in it to get out as soon as they could. I asked him, sort of to see his reaction, why would someone purposely write such a horrible book, if absolutely none of it were true. He gave me some weak answer saying something like she didn't get out of it what she wanted, so she wanted to scare peopled and make it a bad experience for anyone else. He said he's read several of those books before to see what they said and that they were all BS! What's so amazing to me is, he is such an open-minded far reaching person in his normal every day thoughts in so many ways. When I comes to the JW however, they can do no wrong.
As far as the attendence issue goes, he can't go to the hall in person because there is something there that causes him great allergies, so he usually calls in a on phone-in line and listens. When I was there last weekend, he did not call in, and instead sat down and wrote to his kids. I asked him wasn't he going to call in and listen to him meeting? And he said writing to his kids was more important. This was a bit surprising to me, because of all that I have heard about their devotion to the meetings. I have started putting a lot of things together, his recent behavior, their upcoming April 4 celebration and wonder now if his recent behavior, if any of it was intentional. No don't worry, even if he was trying to save me indirectly from joining his religion, I am not going to run to him or anything. He made a comment when he was breaking up with me when he said how our beliefs are too different, a comment that was very unwitness like since they are supposed to do everything in their power to try to convert you and he said that he was trying to save us a lifetime of pain now, that he knows that I would come to resent him down the road and he me, since I could never adhere to their beliefs and practices and that he didn't want us to end up hating each other.
The freedom to remarry thing, he did mention that. He went to the elders and asked them what their views were on marrying a non-witness. They said that they would not prefer it, but that I would be welcome to attend with him and I would not be judged. He would not be excommunicated, but that he would have to start back at square one and work his way up in the faith again. Huh?! For marrying someone of a different faith? That is not God's will. But I could tell that they were trying to dissuade him at all costs since they were trying to force him through guilt to stay in this marriage at all costs, despite the conditions he was living in. He has been miserable for the last 6 years of the marriage. As far as what was I thinking dating a married man? I have never done that and as naive as it may sound, at first he presented himself as single and then when he told me he was going through a divorce, I questioned him extensively as to where he was in his life emotionally with all this. He had been legally separated when we met for 6 months and had started dating again. He was getting ready to file, was moving on his life, had no feelings for her and hadn't for a long time and she beat him to the punch. It was so odd because he was so completely ready to sign the papers and everything, at least he was convinced of that in his own mind and when he analyzed "us" he never felt it was a rebound thing. Neither did I and had I thought even remotely that it was a rebound thing, I would have never let it progress. Yes, we were intimate and I suppose if the elders ever found out that would be grounds for him to be excommunicated. We talked a long time about this before acting on it, because I did not want to get him in trouble. But he said he felt because his soon to be ex already sinned in her mind, leaving him for another man who is in prison no less (he is going to be paroled soon), that was grounds for him to be free to move on, because she had been unfaithful even in her heart. Now he says he is not sure if she was truly unfaithful in her heart and if she was just saying she was to hurt him. I think he is in severe denial from all that he has told me about her and like you all said, he is feeling the pressure and/or guilt from the elders. And he's probably feeling guilty now for being intimate with me, despite being in love with me. Whenever he mentioned trying to make it work with her, 99% of the time it was "for the kids' sake". Now I realize maybe all along it was because of the fear of being completely excommunicated and his children shunning him. That would kill him as his kids are everything to him.
He has told me that his way of thinking about the faith is considered "liberal" to most witnesses, that he does not adhere 100% to some of their beliefs. Like I mentioned above, he is very opened minded about most things and maybe this open-mindedness has, whether he realizes it or not, shined a tiny bit of light of question or doubt, if in fact he does not adhere 100%. His whole thing is, even if he were not a witness, it would not matter because all he or anyone has to do is follow the scriptures and he believes God's law states clearly what is right and wrong. The whole blood issue he claims is in the bible, though I've never heard of it being in there and he says it states clearly that it is God's law that you do not taint your body with anyone else blood. I have not looked for this law in my bible yet, but I have a feeling it is just in "their" bible. Why then, if it is SUCH an important law, would it never be touched on in other religions, even in movies like the Passion of the Christ or other religious works I've read and such, to name a few resources that have been used to get out important issues such as the 10 Commandments and other "laws". If the media is such a huge venue for spreading the word, why don't non-witness religions speak of it? I'm sure I can guess why.
So I don't really think there is anything I can do to help him other than pray for him. I have asked God to wake him up and plant the seed of truth inside him. I have been praying on many related issues a lot this last week and have been amazed at the speed at which an answer has been given to me. Maybe I cannot ever help him in person. I doubt I will ever see or hear from him again. But I can pray for him and for his deliverance and hope somehow that a miracle will occur and he can live his life away from this sad cult.