Are You Dealing or Dwelling? (page 2)

The Grudge

Sunnygal41 said:" Even if we went to a therapist, they, unless they have been a cult survivor, will not be able to truly know how we feel. Coming here, I know 100% that you all do understand. You've been hurt where I've been hurt, with the same things.

That is word for word what I said to myself the other day.Thats says something right there! No,Not that I was talking to myself,but that we all are on the same level.Noone else can possibly relate or know how we feel unless they've been there and gotten out.So I think in a way your time here is what you make of it. You can deal in a positive way by bonding with other people like yourself, and helping newer ones that aren't as educated on the borg,not to fall into the trap. "Dwelling" seems like its only an option for someone who has gained complete victory over a challenge or problem in thier life but then still thinks about it regulary, bringing it up unnecasarrily. I guess what Im trying to say is,as long as the society exists we will be effected by it in one way or another.Dealing is our only option at this point.....Did that make sence?

Phantom Stranger

While there are some therapists that are effective and some that are not, it's a terrible mistake to think that a therapist must have experienced what you've experienced to be able to help. I undertstand how it's easy to feel that way... but please, please know that it's just not true. The mark of a good therapist is being able to empathize with the client without identifying with the client. Do you really want a therapist whose issues surrounding her cult experience get in the way of hearing yours? No, you don't.

Find someone who's experienced and successful (probably not the cheapest, unfortunately), but a therapist who focuses on cult issues often sees cult issues everywhere. Our challenge includes becoming fully-functional members of society - and that is best served by rising above the "ex-JW label".

"To he that is good with a hammer, everything looks like a nail" Abraham Maslow, "father" of humanistic psychology

"Experience is not what happens to you. It's what you do with what happens to you." Aldous Huxley.

"We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." Viktor Frankl, camp survivor, neurosurgeon and psychiatrist

Sassy

I think I am dealing more than dwelling. I think it helps that I joined as a member here as I had just exited. That way I was dealing with things earlier on. In the past on other issues, I had no way to deal with things with people who really understood, so it was easier to shelf issues.. If I had not been here, I know my life would have been very much different..

Sunnygal41

The mark of a good therapist is being able to empathize with the client without identifying with the client. Do you really want a therapist whose issues surrounding her cult experience get in the way of hearing yours? No, you don't.

Phantom, I think you may have thought that I was against therapy at all. Let me clarify, that was not my intention at all............the point I was making was that we here, having gone specifically thru many of the very same situations in Dubdom, have an edge over anyone that has not, including a therapist. And, from what I've gathered, having a therapist friend or two.......most of the "issues" should have been dealt with before the therapist became one.......unfortunately we don't live in a perfect world and there are therapists who bring their issues with them into practice................and, even if there are some lingering "issues" a good therapist would be able to separate their own reaction from yours.

Grudge! Thanks! You are absolutely correct! And, by the way, welcome!

freedom96

I have done dealt with the WTS a long time ago.

I continue to look ahead at what life has to offer, and look forward to that with much anticipation.

starfish422

When I first came to the site, I had been away from the Borg (and really totally removed from it) for about 8 or 9 years (can't remember exactly when I started posting here). So a lot of the threads I read brought back memories of things I hadn't thought about in a loooooooong time; and lots of them were hilarious to look back on.

But now I only post sporadically; and sometimes I go weeks without even reading. It's counterproductive for me to keep rehashing the same things over and over again; and I am not interested in the board politics.

Any "dealing" I do is not a result of this board.

Are You Dealing or Dwelling?