Wedding....

Out At 22

I have been df'd for a little over a yr now. I am living with my BF of over 2+ yrs now and we aren't engaged yet, but we've talked about it and know it's going to happen just not exactly when. But anyways, right after my df'ing I asked my mom if they would at least attend my wedding someday. She said not unless I was reinstated. I almost cried right then and there.

They have gotten alot better, about a 150% improvement as they were grieving too. So I don't know if they will change their minds at all.

I was thinking I'd have my younger brother walk me down the isle if my Dad won't. My brother is inactive (as in moved 2K miles away) but would be df'd if the elders got ahold of him. My older brother is a JW.

My dreams of my wedding are dashed to pieces. I have never thought that my parents wouldn't be at my wedding. This is so depressing. :(

Did any of your JW family attend your wedding?

Gopher

My parents and avid-JW grandma attended my first wedding, when I was a JW.

As for my second wedding when I was no longer a JW, not a chance in hell they'd come up here for my wedding. But my "worldly" relatives attended along with a couple really good friends (one an ex-JW), and it meant a lot.

I'm very much over my parents not loving me any more. I'm not saying it's easy.

I hope you will be able to come to peace with the reality of what's going on, and really know that the love from your man means the most from now on. At least you have that! If he's the one for you (and it sounds like he is), then he will not be putting unrealistic conditions on giving or receiving love. And THAT kind of love is more in harmony with 1 Corinthians 13 (love is this and that, love does this and that) than what the JW's teach.

Lady Lee

My ex actually got permission from the elders to walk both his daughters down the aisle - in a Catholic Church because he was simply "making a delivery" just like delivering bread to a convent. (6 and 3 years ago). He then went and sat at the back with my mother. Both came to the reception. My mother decided not to come to my second daughters wedding. My oldest is getting remarried and I was shocked to find out he is walking her down the aisle again (getting married at the hotel this time by a Untiarian chaplain). He is a MS and somehow has gotten permission to "make one more delivery"

Go figure

Fe2O3Girl

I was divorced from my JW ex-husband and df'd over 9 years ago. My parents don't shun me - we meet up regularly, we just don't talk about JW stuff at all. I don't criticise them, they don't harass or shun me.

I remarried nearly three years ago. I would have liked a church wedding, but I wanted my parents involved, so we chose to have a secular ceremony at a country house. My mum and dad both attended, and my dad walked me down the aisle.

In the UK there is a much wider choice of wedding venues than church or register office. Many buildings are licensed for wedding ceremonies to be held including historic buildings and hotels. The marriage ceremony is then officiated by a government official, the registrar, and non-religious music and readings can be included in the ceremony. That makes choices much more flexible for couples who don't want a church service for whatever reason.

What are your choices in the US?

Nikita

Hi Out!

First, I am sorry to hear about your parents decision to not attend your wedding. Hopefully, they will change their minds once the day is actually upon them.

I was fortunate that my Mom had stopped attending around the same time as myself and my Dad was never a JW. But, my 2 brothers became very active ironically around the time we left! So, when my wedding rolled around they chose not to be there for the ceremony but showed up afterwards for "congrats" and a few pictures. Now, normally something like that would really bother me, but there was lots worse going on during the days of my wedding that overshadowed that. However, what got me bothered more than anything was after the death of my Mom, my Dad remarried in a church and they were there for the ceremony the reception-everything!

In the past year, one of my brothers, Funchback, left the JW's. I finally was able to ask him his thinking about this. For my wedding, they wanted to "teach" me a lesson-maybe by being firm, they could "win" me back. I knew what the "rules" were about marrying outside of the faith. For my Dad, they figured, he was never a witness, this would be ok to attend and show their support.

IMHO, it all boils down to what the Society is saying at the time, personal conscience and how firm they seem to be in their faith.

Nikita

P.S. A belated welcome to the forum!

simplesally

My friends paid for the their daughter's second wedding even though she was living with her boyfriend for over a year. Mother and daughter planned the wedding just like any others would do. The difference is that the daughter never got baptized and the family had arranged to have the wedding at a hotel presided over by a captain of a ship (who was licensed to perform weddings, I guess sort of like a Justice of the Peace).

Many witnesses even went to the wedding and reception without hesitating because there were no religious overtures.

Navigator

My wife refused to attend the wedding of our eldest daughter who had been df'd. Her brothers and sisters also declined to attend. Very hurtful. I was able to walk her down the aisle as I've never been a witness. Her Grandmothers and cousins were there as well as her aunt.

Agent Smith

My best friend got married 2 days before his DFing was to be announced.

His parents did not go. I was there. There was no way on hell I was going to miss his wedding. My wife gave me alot of crap about it because I told her that I was going no matter what. She ended up going to the wedding with me, but she was pissed off the entire time. I told her that there was no reason why we should not go since technically he was not DFed yet. She said she was going to tell the elders about it..I said go right ahead...I am breaking no laws by going. She called her mom(A die hard Dubya) and her mom told her not to go to the wedding.

frenchbabyface

by the way there's a long time that we didn't here about OUT AT ... that make me think also about HAPPYTHOUGH ???

Sassy

I'm living with my bf too and if we get married, I know my mother will not attend either..

Wedding....

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