by MrMoe 71 Replies latest jw friends
Maybe the playing around is a symptom of an existing problem rather than the cause of a breakdown in a relationship?
I've also seen guys in seemingly perfect relationships go haywire as they approach middle-age. I'ts almost as though theyr'e desperate for a final fling.
One things for sure. When a man plays around, his ladyfriend knows he's playing around. And he knows that she knows. And she knows that he knows that she knows...........
Oh boy.
Englishman.
Maybe the playing around is a symptom of an existing problem rather than the cause of a breakdown in a relationship?
TOTALLY AGREE!
Tink, you make it sound so easy. Remember this thread?
um, when i said "is it that hard??" i guess i just meant "it sucks to do the right thing, but can't you do it out of respect for the other person at the very least??"
i appreciate that its hard to end a relationship but trust me if you are to the point where you'll violate that relationship by cheating then why would you hang onto it anyway?? i mean, god, cheating on the person you're with is going to hurt them SO MUCH WORSE when they find out than breaking up with them will.
No one really knows what they would do in a situation
i've been put in difficult situations before in which i had the opportunity to cheat on someone i was in a relationship with. i didn't do it. you know why? because it's a low, vile thing to do in my opinion. i wouldn't ever want to hurt anyone that way, regardless of whether i'm still in love with them or not.
my family was ripped apart because of infidelity. i've seen how damaging it can be and how many people it can affect. to me, it could never be worth it.
No one really knows what they would do in a situation
Well I know I haven't ever cheated and believe it or not I've had opportunity. I haven't cheated on anyone and I haven't been married even. Simple, I want to move on I will but I'm honest about moving on. If I took wedding vows I would keep them and I don't need to live 50 years to figure that out. I know myself.
I'm loving this debate!!
I'm sure it was all roses for her
I sense sarcasm in this. I remained 100% faithful, and I gave her unconditional love. In return I was walked all over. There were warning signs that the relationship was dying, but I kept on telling myself that she really does love me. I was devastated when she left.
Lying to yourself is the worst form of deception you can haveWrong again. Lying to someone that you've made a commitment with is the worst form of deception.
Here's another example, if I kept telling myself that I wrote all the songs, and produced the Rolling Stones' Sticky Fingers album, I'll start to believe it. Then I end up telling you this, and you call me a f***ing liar. Who's the one being decieved?
All you've done is justify your cheating ways.
It's interesting that people think that "cheating ways" are naturally born into the person's personality.
Get out of it first, simple as that.
Ever break up with someone, and they end up stalking you? In these cases, it's not "as simple as that".
Human beings need love, especially if they are hurting or wounded in heart. We don't set out to be cheaters or untrustworthy mates, but sometimes, circumstances in our life lead us that way.
Beautifully said, Sentinel.
Each situation is an entity unto itself and therefore should be looked at that way. For anyone to make any broad, sweeping judgements is unfair at best and ignorant at the very least.
~Aztec
Tink and Stacy,
You are both still very young and idealistic. I was once like that, too. I remember when my sister told me that she was GLAD she had her tubes tied, thinking that I would NEVER EVER feel that way. Guess what? One day in my thirties I understood why she felt that way.
I remember my mother and my sister reflecting on their opinions of themselves as poor parents. They both wondered should they have ever had children. I think I recall them both saying that they should have never become parents. I remember being indignant with them over their statements. I thought, "I am NEVER, EVER going to feel this way. Guess what? In my forties at times I have wondered if I should have ever had children. Not to undo my children but because I didn't feel I was the best mother. There are two examples of me being idealistic and then later on having to eat my words.
I hope that you never cheat. I do want you to realize that you will find yourself feeling a lot of things and giving into some things that at your age you don't dream you ever will.
Heather
You are both still very young and idealistic
well there's an effective way to shut me up.
Actually Tink,
I love to read yours and Stacy's posts. You remind me of what it was like to be young and look at the world with a lot less baggage. PLEASE don't shut up. Love your posts. I like JWbot's posts, too.
Heather
You are both still very young and idealistic
I know, be quiet, get pregnant and fix dinner. No problem.
I'm young but trust me I am not idealistic. I'm pretty jaded in many areas. When you play the young card it usually means an opinion isn't appreciated.
Each situation is an entity unto itself and therefore should be looked at that way. For anyone to make any broad, sweeping judgements is unfair at best and ignorant at the very least.
Me Ignorant??? Azzy maybe there's some truth to what you say. Hopefully I know myself well enough to know I wouldn't cheat. I do know myself well enough that I'm certain I won't stay in an abusive relationship. I only spent a brief period of time in one, very brief.
What I'm seeing in this thread, from some of the guys, is justifications. That's fine. You guys would hate a relationship with me.
