Your opinion of...

by MrMoe 71 Replies latest jw friends

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  FlyingHighNow

  Czar,

  I hope you are upfront with your wife about your side nookey. If you are upfront and she has no problems with it more power to you. I hope you don't impose a double standard on her, though. I hope she gets to spread herself around (pardon the pun) as thinnly as you do if she so desires. Otherwise, if you are keeping this a secret, then if I were her and I found out about your attitude, I'd politely tell you to move out, become single and let me move on to a man who isn't controlled by his member. Fair is fair, you know?

  Heather
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  tinkerbell82

  monk3y said it better than i could...i totally agree w/him
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  maxwell

  I think people choose to do what they choose to do, and I couldn't describe that particular action as mature or immature. Neither do I think a loveless marriage or cheating for emotional reasons justifies cheating any more than cheating because one likes sex. They are both human urges and neither is more important than the other. If I knew someone was cheating on their spouse, no I would not tell on them. I have no idea what their particular situation is and it isn't my place to be some type of moral policeman.
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  Insomniac

  My immediate, visceral reaction (and those are the ones I tend to follow) is that cheaters are the lowest of the low. True love (by my definition) demands monogamy; to mess with someone outside your relationship cheapens the relationship, and exposes all parties to disease and emotional torture. I know I'm being dramatic, but this is just about the only thing I could not compromise on. Also, think about a few years in the future-nobody should have to wonder who their father really is.

  Adulterers and their partners are immature, selfish, and weak of character. Not only would I not continue a relationship with one, I'd be hesitant to even have business dealings with them. Now, if someone out there has some sort of arrangement wherein both partners agree to an open relationship, that may be different, but that's pretty rare, and tends not to work out long-term.
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  Stacy Smith

  Also, if you knew somebody was cheating, would you tell?

  In a heartbeat. Please forward me names and phone numbers, I'll take care of the rest.

  So you tell someone you love them, perhaps even make marriage vows with them. Then you go out and get laid. Yep, you're a dirtbag. Now maybe a person messed up, once, then if the two of you work on the relationship it can be saved. But if someone goes out on their spouse on a regular basis they are trash and you can be sure I'd bust their ass in a hurry.
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  slipnslidemaster
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  jayhawk1
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  Nosferatu

  I used to have the same view as many here - that anyone who cheats on their mate is a scumbag. This is no longer my opinion. I was in a sexually unsatisfying relationship. The woman was horrible in bed, and I was engaged to her. Sex came once every 2 months if I was lucky. I kept on loving this woman and remaining faithful, no matter what opportunities came up. Then she left.

  I think my opinion officially changed when I found myself dating 2 women at once for the first time.

  My view on the cheating thing is much different now. If he/she's not satisfying you sexually anymore, there is no STD risk involved. If one mate becomes "lazy" in the relationship, it's not the other's fault. The other one should continue to keep him/herself satisfied. Without love, there is no relationship.

  To answer the question "would I tell", the answer is probably not. Depends on the circumstances.
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  tinkerbell82

  If one mate becomes "lazy" in the relationship, it's not the other's fault.

  then man up and freakin leave the relationship!! is it that hard???

  thank god i've never been cheated on because i feel REALLY strongly about this. god help the idiot who tries to pull some cute little trick like that and then have the gall to blame it on me. i've been in relationships before that ceased to be sexually gratifying for me. you know what? i left! i would NEVER cheat on someone. if you can't be faithful to someone, give them the chance to find someone who will.
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  franklin J

  Mr. Moe,

  I thought I agreed with you, but as I grew older, this issue was no longer black and white. And it is a sensitive, volatile topic with some people. After watching my parents "Ozzie and Harriet" marriage through my life, and it was a normal, working marriage ( the operative word here is that it worked) and seeing my parents grow old, I was stunned when my mother took a lover when she was in her mid 60s. My dad ( who was formerly an Elder) took a mistress ( very discreetly) when he was 79.( All this came after the Jehovahs Witness years of our lives) Yet their marriage continued for 60 years until my dad passed on last spring. Both of them knew what the other was up to and decided to handle it in their own way. They did love each other .

  I have been married for 17 years, successfully, and my wife and I did not know whether to be amused or stunned at my parents action. The fact is that their marriage worked and lasted 60 years! Who am I to criticize them or their actions ( obviously it is their business).

  just my .2 cents

  Frank