by Xanthippe 63 Replies latest jw friends
We're happy to hear your good news, Xanthippe! What a relief.
Regarding angina and a heart attack: In my case, the angina (several episodes for about five days) brought me to my knees in pain (at home), but the actual heart attack (in hospital) was painless. I would never have known I was having the actual myocardial infarction unless I had been on the monitor and the nurse said, "You just had a heart attack."
Weird.
Take care, Dear.
I do think that when a person experiences something that reminds them that they are "mortal" -- when they realize that they, too, are going to die -- it is an awakening moment. This is especially true for older JWs who have always believed (because they were told to) that they would never die and would walk right on into their (falsely) promised Panda Petting Paradise.
Low
and hold!, they have a heart attack or are diagnosed with a serious,
life-threatening illness, or they lose their loved one (who was to also
supposed to live forever) and they come to realize that, like everyone
before them, they have grown old and they too will die. Suddenly, their
"real personality" reveals itself in their thinking and actions as they
contemplate these new realizations. The fact that they have behaved "nastily" to their family disturbs them.
I hope things continue to improve!
Happy to hear there was a positive outcome.
I'm all for sending texts or short emails - it's a very "low key" way of communicating that doesn't force an interaction. They can choose to answer or not (and they have some time to think about it). The key is to send stuff without any expectations. If they answer, great! If not, you did what was right for you. I'm glad your sister is ok.
Thank you everyone for your thoughts. It's so kind of you all to be pleased about my sister.
Flipper I'm so sorry your sister is going through the same thing. I'll speak to you on your thread about it later. I really appreciate you saying I handled it well, I did agonise about it because it's been going on for such a long time. I did want to open a channel of communication as you say, just in case I am her only way out of the cult.
Thank you CC, I didn't realise angina was so painful, poor you. Perhaps that explains why my sister coming face to face with her own mortality has affected the way she treats me. I hope you're keeping well. Take care.
Doc yes I think you're right death focuses the mind, let's hope her authentic personality does resurface, I would love that. She's actually a very lovely person, who is kind and loves animals.
Thanks mentalclarity, yes exactly a text gives a person time to think, that's what I hoped would happen. It seems that having these awful pains in her heart has made her think.
I am glad your sister responded to your text. I hate to see any family torn apart by this hateful cult, anything we can do to combat that is good.
I think there are a few reasons a health trauma hits JWs harder than others. For one, it reminds them that they may very well die in this system, something they didn't think would happen. It also sidelines them, at least for a while, from theocratic activities. They may then find themselves being judged by others for slacking off, or at the least realize that they are quickly forgotten by the congregation. This is a religion that shoots their wounded, which can be a painful realization.
You did the right "normal" thing Xanthippe by reaching out to your sister in a loving caring way and it seems to have been a very good outcome please keep us posted
Thanks LisaRose, yes I think serious illness does remind JWs they may die in this system but something else seems to have changed too because she's been here before. In 2003 she had cancer and I sent a card and flowers when I found out. She amazed me by phoning to thank me, it had been twelve years.
I kept in touch while she was ill, it was all one-sided of course. I especially wanted to know when she got her all clear, so phoned several times at the five year mark. She said she would let me know. I found out from my cousin she was all clear, she'd told everyone and been out for a champagne dinner but not told me.
So even cancer didn't change anything but this time it's different there is a definite change, a more human attitude towards me. I can't help hoping her attitude towards the religion is changing to make her treat me better. As Flipper says in his thread, you hope but you are still careful, self-protective.
Thanks Smiddy, I will keep you posted.
I'm pleased for you Xan, but a little trepidatious too. Because I've read so many similar experiences on this site (over nearly 20 years now). Unfortunately what often happens is that the JW relative shows unexpected human connection, but then JW guilt kicks in, no doubt involving great inner turmoil for the JW, and they feel compelled to follow it up with a restatement of their support for shunning policy and strict adherence resumes. In the JW world no unauthorised act of human kindness can go unpunished.
@ sbf... absolutely true in my case family members blowing hot and cold when it suits ie the guilt complex which is activated by the latest attack on non believers dissenters and their warped definition of apostasy. At the moment i am in the cold phase, but hey its water of a ducks back, ultimately it's their loss to reject normal loving family relations.
