I dont know where to start so why not at the beginning. I was seeing this girl and we hit it off great chemistry. It went from a physical to a deeper relationship. The problems rose when she got back to her JW faith. At first she was pressuring me to marry her not understand the context of this request. I wish she would have explained in more human simple language that she wanted to get married so we could be together while she devotes herself to her religion. Her communication skills were horrible at getting that point across, then she was lets pick a wedding date and then without my knowledge made some commitment and i was seen as the devil. I can tell she loves me but now its strained. She says we cant date or be formal until i convert which i find odd. She says we cant meet anymore but i can hear tears coming from her on the phone. Its so weird when we are together we are good, we click we get along and i have even respected her no sex demand which has been hard. Now the whole i cant see you sounds like pure bs to me. So i ask for clarification, basically i become a "brother" and we get married right? I cant get a straight answer. I feel like i am wasting my time, its one days she loves me and wants to take care of me then the next day i am the enemy i am satan. For more than 6 months i feel like there is no progress and now that she doesnt want to see me because its forbidden i cant help but get pissed and sad. I tell her in her own version of the bible it says its ok for a person to be married to a non believer and she thinks im lying. Its very painful to fight for someone, you see some progress then come sunday and its like i am an enemy. I have even gone as far as going to her church but even that is a mixed response, some days she is so happy i am there others she says why am i there. Oh and now she wont even save me a seat which i find on a basic level a sign of disrespect.
Am i fighting a lost cause? If you love someone you want to spend time with them? If someone asks you point blank if i do this convert do we marry and yet i cant get an answer. Im not a horrible person but i feel like falling for her was karma for all the things i have done in the past. This person has inflicted so much emotional pain to me.
Yesterday i went to that special easter mass and she doesnt even say hi to me when she see me, her excuse is i was talking to another brother and didnt want to but in. I asked her to save me a seat and she said she saved me on on another row when before she would save a seat next to her. Today i make the effort to see her and she says dont you understand i cant see you but agrees to make time this weekend for me. ( I fear she is lying about meeting up this weekend) I dont understand what is going on. Its so frustrating any and all advise would be welcomed. And again i am the last person to throw stones because i am more than flawed and a sinner but when she lies it is like cutting into my heart. I ask point blank will we get married because i have been doing all of these changes and again a non comital answer to after pressing her a yes but no date other than a vague in two years. I cant put up with this for two years. It pains me to see normal couples walking together and because of this personal change to become a JW i cant even do that with the person i love is just beyond my comprehension. Someone please help me understand or help me by saying i am fighting a lost cause. This yes no messed up relationship is hurting my heart literally and figuratively. Am i fighting a lost cause?